Entitlement

At my cousin Dan’s wedding on the weekend, his Dad gave a speech and said something that caught my attention.

He talked about how he and my aunt had saved for Dan’s education and paid for it entirely. Dan was subsequently able to graduate with zero debt.

Shortly after school, when Dan was working, Dan thanked his Dad for paying for that education and expressed his gratitude to his parents for paving that way for him. He then went on to offer to repay his parents back all the money that University cost.

Huh?

Really?

Seriously Dan! What were you thinking!?!

I was actually most impressed with what Dan must have been thinking. He knew that it took some sacrifice on his parent’s part to save that money. He knew that many kids out there are not as lucky as he was. He knew that he was blessed and took the time to not only express his appreciation, but his desire and willingness to give something back.

He knew he was not entitled to that education.

Entitlement is something that I have been thinking a lot about. It’s something that I am concerned about often when I hear my kids talk – or hear their friend’s talk. Or see the actions and behaviours that go along with some of that talking.

I’m particularly sensitive to it being in a blended family because we really run up against these problems and are at a bit of a loss of how to deal with them. We joke how our kids are going to have to make a lot of really good money to keep up with this lifestyle they are now getting accustomed to: 4 weeks vacations every summer (2 with each parent), two Christmas celebrations (and all the stuff that goes along with that), 2 birthday celebrations, multiple sets of grandparents spoiling; never mind some of the “guilt” presents they get too….

I am excited to read a new book by some of my favorite parenting expert authors: Linda and Richard Eyre. I love their stuff on their parenting website here.

I have also enjoyed reading some of their books. They have a new book coming out about Entitlement in September. I read about it and their mission to help parents deal with this issue that is plaguing our kids here.

As much as I want to give my kids everything, I really want to make sure that I am giving them everything they need to be happy and successful in life – which sometimes means giving them less than everything….I’m curious to see what the Eyre’s have to say.


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