When I was about 6 months pregnant with Josh, Zach began to have major separation anxiety at nighttime.

I would give him his bottle, rock, sing and hug him until he was dozey, then give him a kiss and gently place him in his crib. I would stay at his side for a few seconds until I thought he was nearly asleep, and then tip toe out of the room.

Of course, we lived in an old house, and the floors creaked, so within 20 seconds Zach would pop back up in his crib and start crying. I would start the whole procdeure over again.

It was exhausting.

I eventually positioned a chair next to his crib and slowly moved it back inch by inch, as I had read in a book to do.

I remember so clearly sitting on that chair, looking down at my big belly, and feeling like time would never pass. I just wanted him to go to sleep, so I could in turn go lie down and eventually fall asleep too.

I don’t know where those days have gone.

Back then, every night for a long while seemed like an eternity.

Now, bedtime, is pretty simple. Everyone gets on their PJ’s, brushes teeth, piles into our bed for some reading (and often silly play), prayers and then off they go.

We then go into each child’s room and do our own “little routine”. Nice, intimate one on one time with each of them (and each of us).

But, that is changing too. And I don’t know where the time is going.

I went upstairs to say good night to the “big boys” as per usual (they share a great big room). The routine is to go “lie with them” for a few minutes, chat a bit, and then I pick “lucky winner” for Zach (I reach into his stuffy bin and pull out the stuffy that gets to sleep with him that night. He closes his eyes and guesses who the “lucky winner” is). It’s very cute. He’s all about fairness and being fair to his stuffies (hmmm, wonder where he gets that from??) As I leave, they ask for my “ETA” (when I’m going to bed) and then my schedule (where in the house we will be and what we will be doing”. They then can stay up and read or talk.

Last night, I had to go back up for some reason and plus, I was hearing a lot of noise. This is what I found:

They were playing “mini sticks”. They often play “hockey” up in their room (all the kids usually go up there to play too). I used to think it was so cute until I saw how destroyed our stair banister was getting (they have stairs leading up to their room – you can see the marks on the right side of the picture) … oh well. That’s what paint is for.

I took a picture of them: (check their slippers):

They are growing up so fast. Zach has gone from jumping up in his crib when I tried to creep out, to THIS, overnight! And Gabe is a teenager? Really ?!? (I’m sure he won’t be thrilled to know these pictures exist and are posted on my blog no less)!!!

The sad thing is I know the mini sticks, big slippers, lucky winner time is ticking. As cute as it is, my heart felt a little heavy when I saw it (hence why I took the pictures). I wish I could press pause in my life and capture these moments forever.

I guess blogging and photos will have to do. And the impression left forever on my heart will have to do too.

I love these little peeps.