“Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory”.
The week after we got married, we went on our Family Honeymoon.
Rob and I had had our “alone time” trip in Sweden, and we knew we wanted to create a great memory for the kids to mark the blending of our families. So, we went to Jamaica.
It was a great family honeymoon, but there were a lot of little glitches. Blending families is not so easy, and it all really started to come to surface on the honeymoon of just how tough it was going to be.
In addition to the “merging” families part, Gabe in particular had some anxiety issues. He was anxious about the plane, the water, the food and especially his sleep. He couldn’ t deal with not being with us, and was worried about everything. We laugh when we look at pictures from that trip, because he constantly looks like he is about to cry.
But fast forward a short while later and he would talk about Jamaica with such fondness, suggesting that we all go back! Hmmmm, I thought you hated being away….
This past summer when we surprised the kids with the cruise, Gabe’s reaction was not unexpected: “Really? We are going to sleep on that? On the water? For how long?” He then spent the week enjoying himself, but quietly talking his way though the wave motion, and some of the seasickness he felt. Every time the boat would move, he would clench his fists, and say “Darn boat”. We chuckled. Of course he made it, and seemed to have a good time, but I didn’t think it was his favorite thing.
Until New Years. We went around our dinner table and talked about what we loved most about the year.
Gabe’s thing: The cruise.
The other day he commented that we should take another cruise.
What I have learned about Gabe is he isn’t great in the moment.
I mean, he likes experiences, and likes to do activities and things, but he enjoys everything so much more in hindsight. I call him my “hindsight traveller”.
So, when I saw this quote, I thought of him.
He often only truly appreciates the true value of a moment after it has happened and it has become a memory.
So, we need to make sure he experiences “the moments”. Gabe is a kid who needs to be pushed to do things. I have seen it so many times in little things too – from a school trip, to doing a sport, to trying a new activity. If he is never pushed, he never has the opportunity to create the memory which is so much more powerful for him.
I think we are all like this to a certain extent. I know I am. Sometimes, when I am in “the moment” I actually remind myself to “enjoy the moment” because I will look back on this as one of my best memories. And it usually is. Then I get the pleasure of enjoying the actual moment and enjoying the memory.
And with how quickly life changes, sometimes the most mundane moments can become our greatest memories. So, we need to be careful not to let even the teeny moments sneak by without at least being acknowledged.