“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose Carefully.“
Rob came home the other day having heard this quote and shared it with us all. There seems to be a few variations of the same quote – so I’m not sure who really came up with it.
But, it is good.
Made me think.
Who are my 5 people?
Who are my kids’ 5 people?
Am I counted in someone’s 5 people?
And that’s the question that made me really stop and think.
I AM counted in at least 6 people’s – “5 people circle.” My husband, and my 5 kids. Ok, 7 people, as I know I’m in my Mom’s circle too:)
I take up a valuable spot in their circles. The other variation of the quote is “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” So am I pulling their average up – or pulling their average down?
It’s such a privilege to be part of their circles. I want to make sure that I am not “wasting a spot”!
I loved having the discussion with the kids about this quote too because this is a key time in their lives when their friends are becoming more and more important. Some of their spots will be given to their friends as they begin to spend more and more time with them. But, I want to ensure that even though they have closer ties with friends, that there is some untouched family time – which hopefully means that we (as parents) get to keep our spots. I may need to revisit one of my favorite books “Hold on to your Kids” by Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld that I talked about here – a must read for any parent. They talk about the need for parents to draw their kids even closer as their kids become older. The need to stay in that 5 person circle.
I also thought of the importance of evaluating my own circle – do I surround myself with those who are bringing me up or bringing me down? I want to make sure I do what this little passage reminds me to do:
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you even when you don’t see it yourself.”
This is so thought provoking. I never thought about it like this, but it’s SO TRUE. Wow. I’m trying to count my people right now. —Lisa
I read this somewhere recently and it’s so true. We are who and what we surround ourselves with! I love that and believe it! Thank you for my inspiration today!
I love this quote and it is so true! I am most like those 5 (adults) that I spend most time with. I don’t really count my children! This makes me mindful that I have to be the person I want my children to be because I know I am in their circle! Great post! Stopping in from SITS.
This is inspiring!! I do find myself surrounded by very like-minded people..open-minded and dreamy and really, really into food.
great questions to ask and think about..got me thinking too. Family is easier as they sort of have to love us right? Friendships, colleagues and extended family are earned…fun to think about if I have any gold stars and how I give gold stars too.
Good conversation for the dock (hopefully!
This is a GREAT post! I have 4 teens who are highly susceptible to what their peers are doing/thinking/being. It’s such a crucial time in their lives. It makes me think about who are my top 5 too. After having done a ton of work on myself, those kinds of things naturally worked themselves out. At my age, you begin to think about how short life is and who would I like to spend my time with–who brings me up, is positive, and supports me? My divorce weeded out a lot of people–people who chose sides, people who didn’t value me for who I am, people whose values more closely matched my ex and not mine. I have another quote that I thought of when I read this, Anthony Robbins’ quote: People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.
I totally believe the above reader’s quote- “People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.” I learned to surround myself with good people to avoid being dragged down into sadness!