Alexandra was 6 years old when I met her.
She was full of personality! I knew she was a very special girl.
When Rob told his ex wife that he was involved in a serious relationship with a woman with two boys (that woman being me of course), her response was “I bet she’s happy to get a girl”.
If you have followed a little bit of my blog you might already know that her Mom is not my biggest fan, so it wasn’t exactly meant as a positive comment, I’m sure. But, I get it. It’s tough having to share your kids and it brings up all sorts of insecurities and jealousy.
Anyhow, I WAS happy to “get a girl”. Just like I was happy to “get two more boys”. But admittedly, I was excited at the prospect of having another female to do girly things with (she’s a girly girl) and relate to in a different way.
But, also admittedly, it IS different having step kids versus biological. And please note, I said, “different”. Not worse, or not “If you were her real daughter I bet she’d do…blah blah blah”, like Zandra has unfortunately been told before.
I only met her when she is 6 so I don’t hold the key to so many memories. You start at a different place, and have to find your groove together. There is not this automatic unbreakable bond. I started out loving her because she was Rob’s daughter, but I now love her because she is truly my girl too. You do need to work hard at creating that bond. It can be hard, but you also have to accept that it will be its own unique relationship and it will be different so not to feel the need to compare to anyone else. However, there are some sweet perks too. I like to remind her she need not be feisty with me, as she can save all her mother-daughter drama for her Mom! We laugh at that. But seriously, we have created our own little Smom/Skid relationship that I love.
Over the years I have watched her develop and seen her shine. I have had the opportunity to expose her to different things too. This year for mother’s day, she wrote me a beautiful card and in it she said “You have inspired me to do so many things!” I realized, at that moment, with such clarity, that while we aren’t biologically connected, we are bonded forever in spirit, and she truly is my girl too.
As my girl, I get to also expose her to some of the many things that I love, and that I loved as a young girl. Overnight camp was one of those things! We spent the day yesterday running around getting things ready for her to leave for overnight camp this week! I am so happy to be able to share with her my stories of the camp (she is doing the same camp program I did), and can’t wait to hear about her stories too!
After we packed everything up for camp, she agreed to be my little model so I could practice my photography skills after completing my first photography course a couple of weeks ago! Another reason I’m thrilled to have her around – she LOVES getting all prettied up and pose. We had a fun time!
Here are a few of my favourite shots:
And that’s my girl! I’m so incredibly lucky to have her in my life!