Today’s prompt from Rx Fitness Lady’s Blog challenge: Throwback Thursday: “Ten Years”
10 years ago.
Not the year I would have chosen as a flashback!
Although one of the best days of my life occurred on February 7, 2003 when my boy, known for several years as “Baby Josh”, entered into this world, kicking and screaming. He didn’t stop screaming the whole year. And I’m not joking.
Zach was almost 19 months when Josh was born and was a big help. He loved “his baby”, and often tried to get him to stop crying (and also tried to suffocate him with a blanket – I caught that one on video. He also tried to roll him off the bed, and I have the cutest picture of him reaching out to do it – but then had to drop the camera to stop the actual transgression!)
I was off work for the whole year, which was so awesome to get to spend those special days with both my boys. Unfortunately, Toronto was hit by the SARS epidemic so the city shut down and formal activities were cancelled, but we still found enough to do! Lots of walking, long days in the park, and just hanging out at home. Special memories.
We also spent the early months of Josh’s life travelling back and forth to Montreal, as my father was diagnosed with cancer and not given much time to live.
It was bittersweet – having a newborn child, and losing my father. But being on mat leave meant I was able to spend hours and days and weeks at his bedside. I was there right up until the second he took his last breath. It was a privilege, but a very difficult time.
The summer brought the famous black out that hit Toronto and much of the Northeastern States. It was a big deal as one of my best friends was getting married that weekend and so the blackout was wreaking havoc on the plans! It was a sign of things to come I guess, as she ended up divorcing 2 years later at the exact same time as me.
The fall brought more grief than I even care to remember. Put it this way, the greatest marital betrayal that can ever occur, was confirmed late one night. I struggled to stay afloat, to take care of my babies, to mourn the loss of my father and support my mother. I also chose to stay in a marriage that I likely should have left – with promises of change and new beginnings. It was a decision that haunted me in the years to come, especially when my marriage ended 2 years later.
By winter, I was determined to make Josh’s first Christmas a great one, and succeeded. Zach spent this Christmas as an excited 2 year old. I spent it torn up by loss and grief, but struggled to keep it all together with a hope towards a new year.
Who knew that 10 years later I would be writing this post. That I’d be in such a different place; in such a good place. My father must have been on the edge of his seat watching these 10 years unfold in my life – seeing me walk through the darkest valleys, but climb the highest peaks, and end up in a place far more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.
I’m so grateful for the gift and the power of time.