Quote of the Week

“Stop trying to demand respect, and start working on building a relationship that naturally creates it.”

Do you have some people in your life who are always going on about how they want to be respected?They may feel like they don’t have the respect that they deserve at home, or at work, or with friends. I have seen some coaches talk and talk and talk to their team about how they MUST respect the coach, they need to learn to respect them. I have heard teachers say the same thing to their students too. Lecture the kids about how they need to learn respect.

I have a little theory about this.

Those who talk so much about how they want respect, complain that they are not given respect, or lecture about how everyone else needs to learn to respect them —- these are the folks that often have problems giving respect. They are the ones who often have problems creating respectful relationships.

Respect is earned.

You want it? Then give it. And you will likely get it back.

Stop trying to force someone to respect you.

Start creating a relationship where respect is inevitable.

Of course, that is not to say that we don’t need to teach our children what respect looks like. Of course we do! But the best way to do that, is to create a respectful relationship with them and create respectful relationships around them.


Quote of the Week — 28 Comments

  1. I think you make a very good point! I never really thought about it, but I think you’ve nailed it. The best way to receive respect is to give it to others. SO WELL SAID!! (and something DEFINITELY to teach our children)!! –Lisa

  2. You said this perfectly and know quite a few who have no clue how to go about getting respect in life. I can’t say more that respect is totally earned and not just something to be given without being earned. Great quote of the week for sure, Leah!

  3. Love this quote!!
    And, so true – you always try to tell your kids that all adults should be respected but then occasionally encounter one who really hasn’t earned that respect.

  4. I completely agree. I think the best way way to get it is to give it, and I think if there’s a disconnect there, well, those people may want to really look at the way they’re treating others!

  5. Respect is a misused concept in the world of sports. You can’t ask for respect; you can’t demand respect; you can only earn respect. To me it’s like chasing the fog. If you spend your energy trying to forge or force it, it will elude you every single time.

  6. Very true, Leah. Respect needs to be earned. It is interesting that those who often clamor the loudest, demanding we respect them, do not respect us and have done little to earn our respect. With kids, I find they often want to be heard so it’s teaching my girls that being heard doesn’t mean screaming or throwing a temper tantrum. This, in fact, makes it hard for me to hear them. But if they tell me what they need or want, I will listen to them, then they need to listen and respect my response.

  7. Excellent point and something I have been adamant about when dating… if a man doesn’t treat me with respect, he doesn’t get to stick around. If my daughter doesn’t see me treated with respect, she won’t learn that it’s what she deserves and my son won’t learn the correct way to treat a girl!

    • It is the one thing you should never compromise on. I always tell my stepdaughter, if a guy does not treat her like her Dad treats me then walk away! Unfortunately, she has other examples in her life where respect is hit and miss:(

  8. What a wonderful quote. It is so true for not just family relationships but I thought about work relationships as well. Some people it comes naturally to them, others have to learn it. There is an interesting book by Steven Covey called The Speed of Trust. It is all about how to inspire trust by your actions and integrity in order to have influence in your work relationships.

  9. Not only does showing them and having respectful relationships with them teach them what it looks like – it also teaches them what it FEELS like – so they know immediately when they don’t have that warm feeling inside anymore.

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