Today, I’m back with my friend Heather at Bonding a Blended Family with part two of our blending story.
I am also linking up with my friend Joi, Rx Fitness Lady for her blogging mini party, with today’s topic: “Write a Controversial Post.”
I actually thought “Sharing Our Story – Part Two” was perfect for this post.
How so? Nothing controversial about blending a family, right?
It can be very controversial.
In fact, even the concept of “blending” screams debate.
Is it even possible to blend? Why are you trying to blend? Are you forcing an identity on two families? Should you not be respecting the roots of the two families? Did you not know that the order of love hierarchy should be: your kids, your husband, then your step kids (and don’t worry, you just have to tolerate them)? And did you not know that you should not be involved in disciplining your step kids? If you do, you’re a terrible person.
We took a beating. Everyone feels because you are new to this whole blended thing, they can make observations and comments (to be helpful, of course). I mean, the things people say to you! The things people say to your kids!
I especially appreciated the people who advised my step kids that they didn’t have to listen to me as I really had no role in their lives.
They loved being asked if their Stepmom was mean. Constantly. Still, to this day. Thank you Cinderella and Snow White.
I especially loved when a counsellor told my husband that unless he was taking HIS kids to school on HIS days, then he should not be walking MY kids to school with me (they all go to the same school). She was a counsellor specialized in divorce and step families. I think her first job must have been with Cinderella’s family.
I really loved being criticized for trying to keep my kids on an even playing field with gifts and material things and setting my own rules in my own house for ALL the kids. Can I let you know what I think of YOUR rules in YOUR family? Maybe I’ll just pull your kids over to the side and let them know I think you are too strict and if you actually loved them, you would act differently.
According to many of the books I’ve read, we blended and are blending all wrong. We have made so many no-no’s, we must have scarred our children for life!
Seriously though, we have made many many mistakes – and will make many more. But, the path we have chosen, is the right one for us. It may be controversial to some, but it works for us.
Please join me as we share Part 2 of the “CDF Tell All.”