I’m finally getting around to writing about my focus for 2014.
This year’s focus has two main parts to it – two main areas that I need to get to work on and can be tackled with one focus.
I feel like when I have been doing things lately, it’s with a “finally” I’m doing them.
Finally, I’m writing this blog post.
Finally, I ordered the pictures for our wall.
Finally, I cleaned the house.
Finally, I called that friend.
Finally, I finished that report.
So, I need to eliminate the “finally.”
Finally, I’m eliminating the “finally.”
The “finally” was always making me feel like I was behind somehow; that I was catching up. That I was lazy, sitting around, doing nothing and “finally” did something about it.
But that is not the case. I “finally” do something because I have been busy focusing on what my focus was last year to “do things with purpose” and the year before to “be there.” And of course busy being a wife, Mom, Stepmom, Speech Pathologist/small business owner, friend, cook, chauffeur, cleaner….
And sometimes I “finally” get around to doing something because maybe I wasn’t ready before, or maybe it was not a top priority. But I still get on myself about it.
So this year, I thought about a word (or a few words) that represent how I can eliminate “finally”; how I can still focus on what’s important without being sidetracked by all the external “noise”; how I can reduce the stress and the times sucks in my life; how I can really continue to work on doing things with purpose and to be there —- without guilt in the back of my mind.
I came up with: “Let it go.”
This little phrase has been circulating in my mind a lot the past few weeks and targets beautifully the other area that I wanted to target.
We have had a very intense couple of weeks dealing with Rob’s ex. One of our biggest time sucks can be dealing with her. She has a way of taking good things here (at our house), making them about some injustice to her, causing a big scene, upsetting everyone – (most importantly the kids), trying to make us out to be the bad guys, then seeing it is backfiring on her (with the realization (finally) that she’s not hurting us, but hurting the kids), and then trying to sweep in to try to be the hero and get everything back to normal.
Ummm – everything was good. Until you brought the circus into town.
But I am letting it all go.
The circus has come to town enough in my years of being with Rob to know that it is a circus that has nothing to do with me (or him, for that matter). It’s a circus filled with her own misery, insecurity, anger, hurt, sadness, jealousy and wish for control.
And perhaps I am a cause of some of these feelings for her. But, you know what? I have done what I can do with her and I am not allowing her to occupy my time or my headspace. She is not interested in making things better, so the only thing I can do is let go. Disengage. Shrug my shoulders and say, “unfortunate she feels that way” and focus on the things that are important in our family and in my relationships.
So I’m letting go of “finally” and letting go of all circuses that aren’t created by me:).
I know it will take lots of effort and discipline, but everything worth doing does, right?
Here’s to letting go in 2014!