“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside each and every person. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One wolf is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. And the other wolf is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson though about it for a minute and then looked up and asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
You might have noticed I have been a bit absent in blogging world. I have been missing my blog – and missing yours too!
But the last few weeks , we have been in survival mode dealing with everyday busyness of life – and then dealing with some very intense issues with Rob’s ex.
I wish I had a decent relationship with her. I wish Rob had a decent relationship with her. Life for my 3 amazing step kids would be so much better. It’s been years and YEARS since their parents split and they STILL have to deal with this. C’mon. Seriously.
When I read this quote, it became abundantly clear why this drama is still ongoing.
Rob and I are choosing to feed very different wolves than his ex is.
Whatever wolf you choose to feed does take over. It takes over in all areas of your life. The wolf accompanies you everywhere like a dark cloud, or a sunshiny person. You know those people, right? You feel the darkness and want to run from them, or you feel their light and are drawn to share the warmth of the sunlight with them.
Darkness or light? Which one do you prefer?
I’ll let you in on a secret—- where there is light, there can never be darkness.
As much as Rob’s ex is trying to destroy what we have created, belittle it, make fun of it, fight it, criticize it, (and ironically, copy it), and as many lies as she can tell, situations she can manipulate, ways she can try to villainize him and victimize herself, she will never win.
Sure, she can spend all her time and money going after petty things and even make stuff up to make herself feel better, and feel justified doing so at that expense of her own children, but she will never gain the satisfaction she is looking for.
We are not perfect. We have made many mistakes along this complicated path. We have admitted and apologized for those mistakes. We will continue to make mistakes, I’m very sure. And so will she.
But we have chosen which wolf we will feed. We have chosen to cling to each other even more. We have chosen to commit to being an even better partnership and family. We have chosen to fight the darkness this time with a vengeance, and we have chosen to let this situation be a great stepping stone rather than an obstacle.
We have chosen light.
And light always prevails over darkness.
Off to feed those beautiful wolves.
Hopefully will be back soon.