“I have always found it odd that people who think passively aggressively ignoring a person is making a point to them. The only point it makes to anyone is your inability to articulate your point of view because deep down you know you can’t win. It’s better to assert yourself and tell the other person you are moving on without them and why, rather than leaving a lasting impression of cowardness on your part in a person’s mind by avoiding them.” Shannon Alder
I am a big believer in communication.
When a country goes to war, the first thing they try to do is disrupt the other county’s channels of communication. That should say something; when a country goes to WAR.
Should shutting down communication be our first line of fire too?
In this quote, they are referring to perhaps a break up of some nature. Break up where someone is moving on. But I think it can refer to any kind of “difficulty” in a relationship. Perhaps it’s something that your spouse has done that has your knickers in a bunch, or something a child, sibling or close friend has done. Is ignoring it really the best option?
At times, maybe, with certain people, it is. I’m slowly learning that sometimes with children (especially teenagers) it is best not to engage EVERY single time. Or occasionally, someone wants to keep an argument going for the sake of the argument or you know there is no resolution. However, even here, ignoring might not be the answer, but simply agreeing to disagree.
Having a real discussion can be hard. Often you are required to be humble, and listen to things you might want to hear. You may also need to be accountable, and take reponsibilty for your erred ways. You may need to be forgiving, or repentant and ask for forgiveness. You may end up severeing ties, despite taking the time to communicate.
However, you will be left with a clear conscience, knowing that you have done what you can do in that relationship, and you can move on knowing that you have not left any stones unturned.
As we start this Christmas season, I think back on this crazy year we have had with regards to relationships. It has been a tough one ; but one thing I can feel good about is that no stone has been left unturned. Whether we have been right or wrong, or there is no right or wrong, we have communicated. And communicated. And opened the doors to communication. Sometimes it is never enough and sometimes you just need to be ok with others choosing a different route. Because, I think, they just have not yet figured out that life is way too short….