I had a discussion with a dear friend the other day about social media.
I’m not a huge social media person, as you may have noticed. I blog, but have no Facebook, no Twitter, no Google plus. Well, that is changing shortly, as my goal this fall is it get hooked up…so stay tuned.
However, my friend has no interest in social media whatsoever; she feels that connections made online are not real, and thus you can end up living in an “imaginary world”.
While I completely agree that online connections are NOT a replacement for real life connections, and while I treasure my family and friends dearly, I have come to learn that there is a strong place in my life for a community that I only connect with through word and pictures.
I explained to my friend that sometimes I have felt so alone in my life. When I got divorced, I had some other friends that were divorced too, but none had children. My friends with children were all married. I felt like I could identify with both worlds, but neither world completely.
When I remarried, there was no one I knew who had been remarried. Or who had become a Stepmom. Or had dealt with an ex husband, or dealt with their husband’s ex. It was completely uncharted waters.
Through the years, I have struggled with these roles. Occasionally I have bumped into others who have been living under similar circumstances. We have had some great conversations, but no relationships have been built.
Except online.
Through the amazing blogging community, I have had the opportunity to “meet” others who are in similar circumstances, or who grew up in a blended family, or who are forging forward with starting over right now. These connections are precious to me. Not only have they “fed me”, but I, in turn, have felt like I could “give back” too.
One of those connections is with Heather, from Bonding a Blended Family. While I only found her blog recently, every time I read her blog, I can identify with everything! We seem to have similar values and similar goals in how we are blending our families.
When Heather asked if I was willing to be interviewed for her blog about how we blended our family, I jumped at the chance! She was even keen on getting some answers from my husband and kids. I can tell you that we all had a blast answering these questions, and had some awesome conversations with the kids about what it was like when we first got together and how it is for them now (of course, only bits can be shared as no one wants to read an interview that took a few hours to complete – but it was an awesome process for us!)
Please jump on over to Heather’s blog to read Part One and to find out a bit more about us: The CDF’s!
Heading over now Leah!! 🙂
Thanks so much for letting me interview you and your family, Leah! 🙂 I loved your answers and think you and Rob seem to be doing a fantastic job raising your kiddos!
Thanks Heather! It was a pleasure:)
Yes! Heading over. I never separate my friends by “blogger friends” and “real life friends.” They are all “real.” So I say “blogger friends” and “in-person friends.” Sometimes one becomes the other, and I like that a lot.
I like that difference – In person friends! I think that’s the goal – for the blogger friends to become in person friends!
When you get all social hooked up give me a holla! I am ready to rock it! 🙂
Great! Can’t wait!
Sure thing! Looking forward to reading it. I value the online relationships I’ve created. Unless one steps into this community, they’ll never truly understand,
I think we can value ALL types of relationships. But experiencing different ones helps!
Can’t wait to read it! I value my online friendships as well. So glad you are jumping into social media soon too!
Me too – I’m using all your savvy advice to guide me!
Heading over now. I so agree… I made connections with people on line in a way I couldn’t in real life… it definitely filled a gap of people who had BTDT that I didn’t have in real life!
It does fill a gap for many people. Doesn’t replace people, just adds!
Congratulations on being interviewed on Heather’s site (I’ll check it out!). I’m glad I found your blog, Leah. I don’t know many people in my area who have blended families, who deal with exes, who have stayed neutral and nonjudgmental, etc. so I know exactly what you mean when you say some of your best connections have been made online. Your focus on family is so positive, it’s nice to remind myself there are others out there who are making it work despite the challenges.
I also love reading your stories and wise words because I know you “get it” in a very real way. So glad I found yoU!
Was such an odd feeling to wake up this morning and read about myself. I am the friend everyone.
I can see from your comments so far lots of agreement. Many have said great connections with people on line that they don’t have in real life and that some of their best connections have been made on line.
I guess I am not there yet and maybe one day will be.(or feel a need to be)
With the world we live in today….I totally agree that likely on line will replace most real life friendships more and more and more and that most people’s closest bonds will be over blogs and computers .I find it sad in many ways but guess it is the reality.
Over this summer I realized with many friends, colleagues and contacts that their virtual world is their main focus and priority always…..they won’t answer calls or texts or emails sometimes for days/weeks at a time…but if friends or virtual friends can get them over facebook, blogging or twitter they hit the jackpot and they instantly respond and communicate within hours or minutes.
I guess a world I do not know or fully understand yet.
Will have to take the plunge I guess and see what I think to be able to really know.
Great guest blog Leah-was a lot of fun to read about the CDFs
Tarina
Ah, my dear! I hope you weren’t offended in any way:(( I think your perspective is so valuable! Makes you think! I don’t think though it’s a matter of replacing one relationship with another. I don’t think that most “in life friendships” will be replaced by online ones. It’s a matter of making room for both. And I also wonder if people’s focus and priorities are that online relationships are more important or is it also a function of the busyness in people’s lives? I can answer blog comments, or send texts, or leave a note on facebook at 2am when I can’t sleep, or while I’m waiting for an elevator, or when I’m in a boring meeting. I can’t pick up the phone and call anyone – but I can still make use of that time. I lump texting and emailing into the same social media category – although again – sometimes you need to have more time to “respond” properly. (Although you know my feelings that no one is ever to busy to respond to a text or email – although reality is we all fall behind). I think it’s important to nurture many areas, but with the understanding that sometimes you may fall short and need to realign yourself. Your perspective is a good one to think of when you want to realign.
I have mixed feeling about online friendships. I guess it’s a matter of keeping the expectations in check and understanding that the paradigm is or can be different than IRL. However, many of my blogging friends have become real life friends and there are others who I have never met in real life who are just as much a part of my life as those I know in person.
I think it’s also a matter of realizing that not everyone is who they portray themselves to be on their blog or in social media. I think it requires discrimination to navigate this world well.
I too though have found much support out here as a single mother. And I cherish that support..and you are of course included in that grouping of women who reached out to me this past year with so much kindness.
Going over now to read your post. Can’t wait!
Well said, my friend! And it is so true that not everyone is who they say they are – and at times you may be deceived – that certainly is the danger of online! Especially online dating – but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad! That’s how Rob and I met!! The support piece is what does it for me and why I value the online world:)
I look forward to reading it. Headed over now.-Ashley
Heading over to read!
Can’t wait to read the interview! I agree that we can get a lot of support with online friendships. I have met a few amazing people through blogging. It’s different, but I’ve had the chance to meet some of these bloggers in person and we’ve become even closer. I guess it seems weird to people who are not in the blogging world.
I agree that online connection is not a replacement for real life connections, but they can definitely co exist and beautifully done also. I’m glad you were able to make connections with people with similar experiences. We can all learn from and grow with each other.
It’s not a replacement, but this is a mighty big world and where the Internet has given us the ability to connect in ways we never would have been able to, what a shame it would be to miss out on such an opportunity! Going to read the interview 🙂
That is what makes the blogging community so great because you can connect with people that you would have never had a chance..and it is so awesome to find people to relate to…heading over to read!
I am just so glad you have found the support and community you need through your transitions and turns you faced!!! I will head over to read it!!
So true, Leah! I am amazed every day by the people I meet online. Even knowing that I will never meet the majority face-to-face, some of people I have “met” have become amazing friends. Heading over to read now…
I totally agree with you–internet friends are important and they become a big part of your life. My best friends now are ALL on the internet. We have not met face to face but we adore each other, support each other and they are ALWAYS
“there” for me when I need them.
Interesting discussion. I know online friendships are different in many ways, but I do feel lucky to be able to meet people who I may have never otherwise met, people who share the same interests and perspectives. I also love that blogging allows us to discuss topics that might not come up as often in every day conversations.
Heading over to read your post now!
U
I can’t wait to read it and so funny because I just spent about 20 minutes trying to find your FB page. 🙂 🙂 I absolutely adore my online friends and have come to appreciate them so much. When RL gets crazy, there is always someone that is there to talk me down or talk me up. 🙂
Heading over to read it now! I love how I’ve connected with bloggers online who are both similar and so different from me – women who I probably would never cross paths with in real life. And the connections are definitely real.
This is so cool! I love that you are being interviewed! It sounds so important 🙂 Hopping over to read!