Raising Flowers and Skids

Majestic Montenegro

Posted on June 3, 2026 by Leah

I have said it before and I will say it again: trust the process, whatever is meant to be, everything is happening for us.

I keep coming back to that mantra.

Every single week, something happens that makes me feel all the feels.

A plan falls through and something better shows up.

We wander somewhere we weren’t supposed to go and it turns out to be exactly where we needed to be.

Week 11 was full of those moments.

We wrapped up our time in Split, said goodbye to Croatia (which really stole my heart), and then we headed to Montenegro where we are spending the next three weeks. We needed time outside the Schengen zone and Montenegro looked like the best option.

It’s not somewhere that was on my bucket list, and funnily enough we are stopping there on our cruise this fall, but we are trusting the process, so Montenegro it is!

Goodbye Split, Hello Kotor

On the Monday morning, after a nice long walk on the boardwalk in Hvar, we boarded the ferry back to Split. It’s actually a pretty fast ferry ride, and our time in Hvar was simply amazing.

We had a nice lunch in Split, did some Niksening (the art of doing nothing , in case you haven’t heard me refer to this Dutch term before) by the water, and chilled and relaxed.

The next day, we decided to check out one of Split’s beaches. Nowhere near as nice as those in Hvar, but it was still pretty. The water was pretty cold, but Rob went in for a swim. I went in for a tiny bit:)

We had been craving a charcuterie board (although realistically nothing will beat the one we had in Lisbon!) .

We found a place called Ciri Bili Bella, only to arrive and discover they were serving only a breakfast charcuterie. We decided to go with it. It was actually really good, though very substantial. (This became a bit of a theme for the week. We ordered a couple of meat platters later on in the week and they were massive!)

We ended up having to hire a driver to take us to Montenegro as the other options were not working out (and were pricier), and left Wednesday morning. Our driver was pretty chatty and clearly proud to show us this part of the world.

And he liked to do detours, which I’m not going to complain about because:

I loved where he took us and
What is the rush??

My favourite one was a stop over in Dubrovnik where you could see the whole city laid out below (He took us to where the cable car will take you from the old town below). We had deliberately skipped Dubrovnik because our cruise goes there in the fall, so now I’m even more excited to check it it (and that I don’t need to take the cable car up to see that view!)

We arrived in Kotor in the late afternoon, and our Airbnb is right in the Old Town, which means the location is absolutely ideal

The Fortress, the Boat Tour, and Learning to Just Be

The morning after we arrived, we were up early to beat the heat and climbed to the fortress. Around 1,350 steps. (Honestly not as bad as I expected and the views from the top were worth every single one of them.)

On the hike, we met a lovely couple from New Zealand and they shared with us about their experience of exploring one of the national parks further north which sounded spectacular. It planted the seed for us…

The next day we took a boat tour out to the Lady of the Rocks, a church on a small island, and through the Blue Cave and submarine tunnels. It was a nice morning on the water. Beautiful scenery. But it didn’t Oooh and ahh me like other experiences have.

But, one of the things this trip has been teaching me (slowly) is how to let something just be what it is. To enjoy a nice morning on the water without needing it to be the ultimate thin moment. To sit on a bench by the lake and do nothing and call that a full and complete experience.

Niksen. Just being. We are getting better at it. (See why this has become an important word for me?)

That afternoon we took the cable car up the mountain. We had taken a shuttle to the base, and as we went up, I was looking around thinking, “oh this is pretty but not sure it’s worth the hype (or cost!)”, but then it continues over a plateau that looks like the end and keeps climbing and wow! Mountains all around. The water in the distance. You could see Kotor laid out below, and beyond it, all of Montenegro stretching out. It truly was an incredible site!

The Hike We Almost Didn’t Take

Based on the recommendations of the couple from New Zealand, we rented a car for a couple of nights and decided to drive up into Durmitor National Park. When strangers on a mountain tell you somewhere is incredible, you go:)

We stopped in the cutest little town called Perast on the way. Right on the water. We were not even hungry, but we sat down for breakfast anyway because the setting was so beautiful.

The drive was even more beautiful. It truly felt like the Sound of Music could be playing (and truth be told I did bust it out to play while we drove for a bit!). The windy roads were also fun for Rob to drive (he likes that kind of thing).

Durmitor itself was stunning. Just like the drive up, it was so green and lush, lakes and wildflowers, snow-peaked mountains in the distance. We saw sheep, goats and cows. The roads were extremely curvy here too with these hair pin turns.

We stayed in a little A-frame meadow house at the base of a hiking trail. Very basic. Very cozy. More Rob’s style than mine. But I survived:)

We headed out to do a hike, trying to get to Tara Canyon River, but somehow we got lost, or went too far, or I don’t know what, but we saw we were getting closer to the Bosnian border! Without our passports, or a plan to go to Bosnia, we turned around.

On the way back, we came upon a little restaurant and pulled over. I spotted a small rocky pathway at the side of the parking lot and just started heading up.

A couple who passed us on the trail as we were starting to take pictures, told us to keep going for 5 more minutes to a bench as it was a better view. So we kept going. And then at the bench, someone else was there and told us that twenty more minutes up is the most beautiful view they have ever seen in their life. And he encouraged us to go, “Just take your time. You can totally do it and it’s worth it”.

We were not prepared for a big hike. We did not have the right shoes or gear. Or water. Or energy frankly. But we didn’t want to miss this chance.

So we kept going.

We bumped into an older couple a short while later who had all the hiking gear including poles and told us “You have a long way to go”. Not very encouraging.

It’s amazing the different perspective people can have. The first guy was so encouraging, “you can do it, take your time”; the second couple, “it’s far, you still have a long way to go”.

Perspective is always a choice.

But we made it to the top and WOW! It was 360 degrees of everything. Mountains, canyon, sky, clouds. The Tara Canyon River below us (which looked like a tiny blue/green line). Snow on the peaks. It was incredible! Photos do not do it justice or capture the depth.

Turns out we had accidentally hiked to Curevac viewpoint which is apparently one of the most popular and beautiful viewpoints in the whole area. We had no idea! We just luckily followed someone else’s recommendations and didn’t chicken out because we were not prepared.

At the top, we met some people travelling from Israel and a couple from India. We got to comparing notes, sharing experiences, giving recommendations. And learning a bit about where they are from and their travels.

That is the thing about travel like this. You end up standing on the top of a mountain with people from completely different parts of the world, with completely different lives, and for that moment you are all just people who made the same choice to climb a little higher.

There is something pretty special about that. A reminder that connection is possible anywhere, with anyone, when you are open to it.

What Travel Does to Connection

We have been talking about this a lot, Rob and I. How travel opens something in people.

Strangers talk and share things . You ask questions you would not normally ask. You are curious in a different way because the context is unfamiliar, and curiosity creates connection fast.

I think it has something to do with the shared experience of being somewhere new. You are all slightly outside your comfort zone. Your defenses are lower. You are more present because the novelty of the environment needs you to pay a bit more attention. And you want to exchange best tips and restaurants!

And then there is what it does to the two of you when you travel as a couple.

We make decisions together in real time, all day long. We navigate things we did not plan for. We follow each other up a mountain. We laugh, I complain, we share our worries, our dreams, our “top things” (we always play games like “top meal, top memory, top view”). We talk about our life now, and the future.

Have I mentioned how good this kind of travel is for a relationship? At least for ours. And it is not all rosy, I promise. I mentioned to Rob that I think it’s normal for people to get irritated with each other when they are travelling 24 hours together, and he jokingly said, “normal for you”. Ha! But we figure it out. And truly we both know that this is a time in our lives where we will reflect back on it being one of THE times of our lives.

I can picture being on my deathbed, with him on his deathbed beside me (bcs I can’t think of it any other way) and us reminiscing about what we are experiencing right now. Confirmation to me that even though my silly little brain likes to worry and doesn’t like uncertainty, this is where we need to be.

We also have another mantra for our travel right now which we stole from the show Landman:

We want every meal to be memorable, every moment to be an experience, and every night to be a honeymoon…

And it is proving to be true.

What I Am Noticing

We spent the next morning hiking around Black Lake in the National Park. Easy at first, then you hit waterfalls and have to cross them on rocks without getting wet. (My balance is not my greatest asset, so while simple for many, it was a bit comical for me. But I did it! And did not get wet.)

The lake was stunning: greeny,blue, with the sun hitting it. We had a lot of Niksen moments. Sat on some rocks, found a bench. Just took the beauty in, especially with the sun hitting the water through the trees.

That afternoon we went to the Tara Canyon Bridge (it was under construction so not as impressive) and then in evening we hiked again, out to a smaller lake (Lake Zminje – the trail was right out side out place). I will admit I complained about the steep initial climb. And then I stopped complaining because it was really nice, and the lake was beautiful too. Another opportunity to Niksen on the bench at the edge.

There is a pattern I keep noticing on this trip. I resist something. I do it anyway. I am glad I did. Every single time.

And honestly, that is not just a pattern on this trip. It is a pretty familiar pattern for me.

I think that is the nervous system doing what nervous systems do. New is unfamiliar. Unfamiliar reads as uncertain. And uncertain makes you want to stay put.

But if you keep going anyway, on the other side of that resistance is usually the best part of the day.

We are now settling into Montenegro for 2.5 more weeks and I’m excited for the slower pace that offers. The scale of everything here is incredible. The mountains are not in the distance, they are right there, surrounding you. The nature is not a backdrop, it literally is the whole thing.

Trust the process. Whatever is meant to be. Everything is happening for us.

xoxo

Time, Health, and the Window Nobody Tells You About

Posted on June 1, 2026 by Leah

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a concept that I stumbled across a few years ago.

It’s the idea that there are three things we’re all navigating in life: time, health, and wealth.

And the very cruel irony is that most of us never have all three at the same time.

In your 20’s , you have time and health but have less money. I certainly can attest that this was the case when I was in my 20s, and see it now with my kids.

In your 40’s, you might have more money and health but absolutely no time. (And the money is often dedicated to mortgage payments and all things kids).

And by your 70’s, you might finally have time and money, but your body is starting to have other plans. And frankly, for many, time is also ticking (not trying to doomsday anyone, but reality is it is a gift to get older and not everyone is so blessed).

But there’s a window. Usually somewhere in your 50’s and early 60’s, where all three can overlap.

Where you have enough money (maybe not everything you dreamed of, but enough).

Where your health is still cooperating.

And where time starts to open up in ways it hasn’t before.

A while back, Rob and I read a book together called Die with Zero by Bill Perkins. We were on a road trip and started it on Audible, and then just kept listening in the evenings because neither of us could stop thinking about it.

I ended up doing a whole podcast episode on it because it impacted me that much (you can watch it here

Some of what we read was validation for decisions Rob and I had already been making for years. And some of it was a wake-up call about decisions we still needed to make.

One of the things Perkins talks about is this exact framework. Health, wealth, and time.

And he asks this question that I think was so good: would a 20 something trade places with Warren Buffett? One of the richest people in the world?

And most people say no. Because even with all that wealth, the time and health factors are shorter.

We say we value wealth, but when we really think about it, most of us value health and time more.

The question is whether we’re actually living that way.

I think a lot of people miss that window entirely. And I think the reason they miss it has very little to do with logistics or finances or planning.

I think they miss it because their nervous system won’t let them step into it.

I want to talk about that. Because Rob and I are right in the middle of ours, and I almost missed it too.

Two Health Scares That Changed Everything

When Rob was 42, he had a widow maker heart attack. If you don’t know that term, the name tells you everything you need to know. The fatality rate is around 90%.

Spoiler alert 😀: He survived.

And honestly, for a while we just kept going because that’s what you do, especially when you are busy raising 5 kids and navigating tricky family dynamics around shared custody. But you feel grateful, you feel shaken, and then life pulls you back into the chaos – good and bad.

Then at 53, Rob was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I’ve written about this before, but the short version is that my dad died of prostate cancer when my second son was four months old.

So even though every single doctor told me Rob’s situation was different, was treatable, he was going to be fine, my nervous system only knew one story.

And that story ended in loss.

Rob went through treatment. He’s OK. We’re OK.

But something shifted in both of us after that second scare.

Something that I don’t think fully shifts until your body (or your partner’s body) reminds you in the most visceral way possible that time is not guaranteed.

When you hear the word “cancer”, regardless of prognosis, your nervous system has a stake down, and that for us triggered deep contemplation.

We decided we needed to stop saying “someday.”

Perkins writes about how people in their later years keep saving and saving their money, and he wants to ask them: when exactly is this huge party you’re saving for?

And when exactly do you stop? You work and work and work, and if you end up with extra money at the end, that means you could have worked less and lived more.

So after two health scares that could have had different endings, the questions of what are you saving for and when do you stop found their way into our everyday conversations…

The Math We’d Been Doing Our Whole Lives

Rob and I have always played a little game with our finances. And I’m not sure if the “real financial gurus” would agree with our game, but it worked for us.

We’d put as much as we possibly could into our RSPs (retirement savings plan in Canada where you get a tax break) every year, always taking advantage of any company match (which Rob was lucky enough to have; I never did bcs I’ve been self employed our whole marriage), and then we’d take whatever came back in our tax return and put it toward travel.

Travel was our absolute number one priority.

We were never the couple who does the big renovations or redesigns frequently with new furniture.

I like to say our house is loved and lived in, and yes, some things could definitely use updating. (Our kids make fun of us because we have two old TVs in our house, and one is really pretty small.)

But we made a choice very early on that we were going to be “experience and travel people”, not reno and accumulation people. That’s not a judgment on anyone who chooses differently. It’s just what felt right for us. And we couldn’t afford both, especially with 5 kids.

But the research actually backs this up, and since I’m all about research, I had to oblige…

There’s a concept called hedonic adaptation (sometimes called the “hedonic treadmill”) that shows we tend to return to a baseline level of happiness after any purchase. You buy the new car, you feel great for a while, and then it just becomes your car.

But experiences work differently. They become part of your identity, your stories, the way you connect with the people you shared them with. You don’t adapt to a memory the same way you adapt to a thing.

Another thing we also invested heavily in is our brains. Courses, trainings, certifications (mainly me!), hobbies (mainly Rob!).

These are things that may not look like traditional “investments” on paper, but I genuinely believe add years to your life because they keep you curious and growing and connected to something that matters.

Now I want acknowledge that not everyone comes from the same starting place. Rob had a good, steady job for 30 years. I’ve been successfully self-employed for over two decades. We have been genuinely blessed, and we know it.

So when I talk about choosing experiences over accumulation, I want to make sure I acknowledge the mix of privilege and choices (for both experience and accumulation people).

We had the privilege of steady employment with income to make choices with. And then we made choices that not everyone would make, and not everyone would agree with. Both of those things are true.

I share our story not because I think everyone should do what we’re doing, but because I think the questions are worth asking regardless of where you’re starting from.

A friend of mine says something that I come back to all the time: “We can always make more money tomorrow.”

And she’s right. But we cannot make more time.

We can always makes more money tomorrow. But we cannot make more time.

Investing in Memory Dividends

This is one of my favourite concepts from Die with Zero, and it’s one that Rob and I have lived with for years without knowing it had a name.

Perkins talks about “memory dividends,” the idea that when you invest in an experience, you don’t just enjoy it once. You get to anticipate it beforehand, enjoy it in the moment, and then relive it every single time you recall or retell it. And those memories compound over time. The earlier you invest, the more dividends you collect.

When Rob and I met, we were both in our mid-thirties and had each been through a divorce. We felt financially behind. But our kids were between 3 and 10, and we knew that time with them at those ages was finite. Our oldest would only be with us for about eight more years.

So we made a choice. We were going to save for the future, yes. But we were also going to invest in experiences with our kids, especially travel, because that was a huge priority for both of us.

And the dividends from those investments? We are still collecting them.

Every family dinner where someone says “remember when…” and we’re all laughing about some mishap from a trip years ago? That’s a memory dividend.

Every time one of our kids references something they experienced on a family trip that shaped how they see the world? Dividend. We didn’t know the term back then, but we were building a portfolio of experiences, and it has paid us back over and over.

I look at my kids now and their own sense of wonder, adventure and travel. I consider those all memory dividends for both them and me.

Asking: What Are We Actually Saving For?

Here’s where things got interesting for us.

Because Rob and I both went through divorces and had to start over financially, we are not where a lot of our peers are at this stage. We have a big mortgage. We don’t have the same nest egg that some people our age have been building for decades without interruption.

And for a long time, that felt like a reason to keep our heads down and keep saving. Keep being responsible. Keep waiting until the numbers looked “right.”

But then we watched our five kids go out into the world now and live these adventurous lives. Gap years, backpacking through Europe and Asia, studying abroad.

And Rob and I kept looking at each other saying, how come they get to do that?

But then we looked at each other and asked, “what exactly are we saving for?”

Are we saving so that we can do these things at 70, when our bodies might not cooperate the way they do now? Are we saving so we can look at a bank account and feel secure while the window quietly closes? Are we saving to leave our kids an inheritance (and while I know they will probably say “yes!!”, I’m pretty confident they will be building their own lives too and chances as any inheritance will only land with them when they are in their 50’s, 60’s or 70’s (I plan on living until 98 like my grandmother!)

Perkins talks about “time buckets,” the idea that different seasons of life are suited to different experiences. There are things you can do in your 30’s that you can’t do at seventy. And things you can savour at 70 that you wouldn’t have appreciated at 30.

The point is to be intentional about matching your experiences to the season you’re actually in, instead of putting everything on a “someday” list that keeps getting pushed forward.

Rob and I looked at our season (50’s) and realized we were sitting right in the overlap: Still healthy. Enough resources to make it work. And for the first time in our adult lives, our kids are all launched (well, some of them are in partial launch mode, but enough…)and living their own lives.

I’m not saying we threw responsibility out the window. My nervous system truthfully could not support that right now. I am still running my business remotely. And Rob, after 30 years of steady employment followed by some job changes after his treatment, is looking for his next opportunity. Something that actually aligns with who he is now, because after working for so many years and going through what he went through, that matters more than just finding the next paycheque.

We had actually been planning and saving for a formal gap year down the road. We had a good plan. And then life rearranged it for us. Rob’s job changes created an unexpected opening, and instead of waiting for the “perfect” version of what we’d imagined, we asked ourselves: what can we do right now with what we have?

And that’s how we ended up in Europe for several months. First Portugal (where this whole Substack series started), and now we’re writing this from Montenegro with five more weeks of travel ahead of us.

A Word About Kids and Being “Good Parents”

I want to say something here that I think a lot of midlife parents feel but don’t always feel permission to voice. At least, this is what I hear from many in the circles I move in.

When your kids are young, you pour everything into them. Your time, your money, your energy, your identity. And that is beautiful and worth every second.

We helped all five of our kids with their education. We saved for them from the time they were born, not to cover 100% (because we believe they need to invest in themselves too), but enough to give them a meaningful foundation.

But there comes a point where you realize that your kids are adults now, making their own financial decisions, building their own lives, choosing how to spend their time and money. And you start to notice that you’re still operating like the person whose only job is to give.

The shift that happened for me wasn’t about my kids doing anything wrong.

It was about me realizing that I am more than just a parent. I have a life to explore. I have experiences I want to have. And giving myself permission to invest in those experiences is not selfish. It’s necessary.

If we have things to give or leave for our kids, we will. We love our kids and we always want to be generous with them. But we are also taking care of ourselves now. We are living now. And I’ve stopped treating that like something I need to apologize for.

Perkins actually talks about this too. He calls it “stealth inheritance,” the idea that if you’re going to give to your kids, giving while you’re alive and while they’re at a stage where it can make a real difference has more impact than leaving it behind. I love that concept. I also love the idea that some of the best things I can give my kids right now are shared experiences and memories together (and frankly they do not have to cost money, or mean I have to sacrifice my own experiences).

I am also mindful that my kids have many years ahead of them to work and save for their future. Make decisions on how to earn, save, and spend.

We may not have the same luxury, so it is ok for us to be looking out for us now.

What Your Nervous System Does With the Window

I also want to share that even though I can write all this, and it can make perfect logical sense (at least to me!), my brain still does a number on me.

And I don’t think I am alone (at least I hope not!). I think a lot of people can see “the window” intellectually. They can look at their lives and recognize that they have enough health, enough resources, and more flexibility than they’ve had in years. They can see it.

But they can’t step into it.

And I think the reason is that their nervous system is still in saving mode. And I don’t just mean financially.

I mean the kind of saving where your body has been in “prepare for the worst” mode for so long that it doesn’t know how to shift into “this is actually okay right now.”

Where decades of responsibility and sacrifice and being the person who holds it all together have trained your system to brace. To scan for what could go wrong. To treat any moment of ease with suspicion.

I know this because I lived it. I am still living it some days.

(If you don’t believe me, just ask Rob. It kind of drives him crazy (I definitely have been infected more lol).

When Rob and I first got to Portugal, I wrote about the waves of anxiety I was feeling. Not because anything was going wrong, but because my nervous system could not reconcile “we are doing something adventurous and uncertain” with “we are going to be OK.”

I also kept asking myself, am I enjoying this enough? Am I appreciating this? Am I maximizing this?

And then I realized (with a little help) that those questions were just my survival brain doing what it has always done: trying to control the experience so it could feel safe.

The window I’m talking about doesn’t ask you to have it all figured out. The window asks you to step in while it’s open, even if your system is still catching up.

Perkins talks about the “net fulfillment curve,” the idea that saving too much can actually decrease your overall life satisfaction.

I think there’s a nervous system version of that curve too. There’s a point where the bracing, the scanning, the constant calculating of “are we OK?” stops protecting you and starts costing you the very experiences you’ve been working toward.

It is a constant back and forth with my brain and nervous system about this…still. First step is awareness though, right?

Experience Over Accumulation (Even When It’s Scary)

It’s fair to mention that I am not writing this from some place of financial freedom where the numbers don’t matter.

The numbers matter.

But, I am learning they just don’t get to be the only thing that matters anymore.

We have made a conscious choice, again and again throughout our lives, to prioritize experience over accumulation. And sometimes that choice is easy and exciting, and sometimes it is genuinely scary because the math doesn’t look perfect and the future isn’t certain.

But I keep coming back to this: Rob survived a 90% fatality rate heart attack at 42. He beat prostate cancer at 53. My dad did not get that chance.

We are not waiting for the window to open wider. We are climbing through it right now, and we are doing it while it’s still open.

What I Invite You to Sit With

If you’re reading this and you’re in midlife, I want you to think about the window.

Your window.

Not as some financial planning concept or retirement strategy. But as a real, physical, time-limited season of your life where your health, your resources, and your time might actually be overlapping right now.

And then I want you to ask yourself what your nervous system is doing with that information.

Is it letting you step in? Or is it keeping you in bracing mode, telling you to wait a little longer, save a little more, get a little more certain before you allow yourself to really live?

Because the window doesn’t send you a notification when it starts closing. It just closes.

And from what I hear from people who are further down the road, the thing they regret isn’t the money they spent. It’s the window they didn’t use. The trip they kept delaying. The relationship they didn’t invest in. The experience they kept saying they’d get to “when things settled down.”

Things don’t settle down. You just run out of time.

Whatever your version of climbing through the window looks like (and it doesn’t have to be travel, it doesn’t have to look like ours), I hope you’ll think about whether you’re actually stepping into it or watching it from the other side of the glass. Maybe it’s the trip. Maybe it’s the course or the training or the hobby you keep putting off. Maybe it’s investing in time with the people who matter most, right now, while everyone is still healthy and able to show up for it.

We’re in Montenegro right now. The city, the water, the mountains are all gorgeous. The pace is slow.

And I still have moments where my brain wants to spiral about all the things that aren’t figured out yet.

But we’re here. Inside the window. And I am so glad we didn’t wait.

xoxo

Awe on every corner

Posted on May 28, 2026 by Leah

Just as I sat down to write this, I decided to look back at my first article in what I am calling the “Adventures in Recalibration” series.

I wrote that first one the day we were leaving for Portugal, and the back story (you can read it here).

All we knew for sure was we had booked a month in Lisbon, and then had a loose idea of maybe a few more weeks in the Algarve? We figured we would just wait and see. Whatever was meant to be.

That has kind of become our mantra the past couple of months: trust the process, whatever is meant to be, everything is happening for us.

Trust the process, whatever is meant to be, everything is happening for us.

Because, here we are. Almost eight weeks in Portugal. A week in London. And now a full week (and then some) in Croatia. Who could have predicted that this would be the itinerary?

I remember being on a walk with Rob in Lisbon when we started floating the idea of continuing travel after London (London I knew I had to be there for work, but we initially thought we’d head home).

We float a lot of ideas on our walks (we are floating the potential idea of what our fall could look like, but we shall see… trust the process, whatever is meant to be, everything is happening for us…

We plant the seeds that seem crazy when we say them outloud. Then nourish them by talking about them more.

And for many, maybe all this does not seem crazy at all.

But for the two of us, it was and is very new. Rob has worked straight for 30 years in corporate. The idea of being in between things, waiting for the right opportunity (he turned something down last week bcs saw it was not in alignment with what he wanted – and this kind of alignment matters more to us at this stage of life) . I’ve also always been working, and while I continue to do so remotely, so many things are different.

But every single piece of the past 10 weeks has felt like we are exactly where we were supposed to be.

We arrived in Split, Croatia at the tail end of Week 9. It was a Friday night, rainy and cold, and we couldn’t get a good feel for the place at all. It kind of felt like London all over again, which while I love London, I do not love the weather we had.

But like every new place and new transition, I remind myself that I just need some time to get settled, get the lay of the land, and a good night sleep.

It’s amazing how just a good night’s sleep changes everything.

Split: Rain, Ruins, and a Perfect Evening

The next day, our first real day in Split started with more rain.

I actually truly hate rain.

But, we pulled out our umbrellas which we frequently used in London, and walked down to the Old Town. Our air bnb is just outside old town – a perfect 12 min walk.

We wandered along “the Riva” (riverfront promenade), and then walked through the winding paths inside the old palace walls. It really is a beautiful little city.

And then it absolutely poured, so we ducked into a restaurant called Picasso for pizza while we dried off. It kept raining so it was a perfect time to head back to the air bnb to nap and do some work ( I am trying to squeeze in work especially when the weather is bad to free me up for when the weather is good…)

By evening, the weather cleared up, we had some leftover pizza and headed back into town.

We found this outdoor bar just outside the palace where they put cushions on the stone steps, and you can order drinks and they had some live music playing.

To say it was magical is an understatement.

I don’t usually get too gushy (well, that’s not completely true…), but when the musician played Harvest Moon, one of our fave songs, I admit I kind of got teary. It was a thin moment for sure. We are getting pretty good at stopping to appreciate these moments, call them out to each other, express some gratitude, as well as some awe. And then my heart takes a picture (and I usually take one on my phone too). We pretty much had a perfect evening.

The next day we decided to do a more formal tour that took us into Trogir, a tiny town about 30 minutes from Split, and then on to Krka National Park.

The park is known for its falls – which were very pretty. We then took a little river boat through the park to the town of Skradin, where we had lunch (the cuttlefish risotto and veal risotto – specialities of the region) . And, totally a coincidence (at least I think it was!), there was a car rally hill climb, which Rob obviously loved ( More than the falls I think, and they were truly gorgeous).

The rest of our time in Split was a mix of work days and wandering.

We hiked up to Marjan Hill one morning, which overlooks Spilt and the 360 views were stunning. You can see the whole coast, the mountains, the city spread out below. We found a quieter neighbourhood on the way up, had a super healthy lunch (tuna and octopus quinoa bowl), and did our daily “Niksen” time sitting on a bench by the water.

I did a podcast episode here about “Niksen” (a Dutch term that means “do nothing” ) a while back, so it is a term we have been using and and we have been trying to do it daily. “Wanna go niksen” or “Where should we niksen” has become part of our daily conversations.

We are too cute:) Have I mentioned how travel like this can be so so good for a relationship? Spending this time together I truly feel like we are falling more and more in love each day. (There is the gushy stuff again. Sorry, not sorry).

We also had some amazing food at different restaurants over the week: Corso Maltese, Zinfandel, and then Fig – where we had the best burger (maybe of our lives…blueberry jalapeño chutney makes it.). And it wouldn’t be our trip without my now famous protein, fruit, yogurt and muesli bowls on a few nights.

And of course, gelato. Always room for gelato. Chocolate orange is my new fave flavour.

The Five Islands and Falling for Hvar

After a pretty busy work week, we decided to do what they call the “Five Island Cruise” out of Split and all I can say is wow.

First off, our young skipper had a great playlist. It has been interesting to see that almost every time you hear music playing, it is from the 70s and 80’s. We met a guy who shared that they do it bcs the visitors that are doing the most travel these days are the Gen Xers like us, who grew up with 80s music. They are trying to make us happy (and feel good so in turn we will associate good memories with the trip and return or share our experience). So the skipper’s play list was 70-80s (even though most of our cruise companions were millennials or Gen Z). We loved it.

We stopped at the Blue Cave which was phenomenal. A hole in the rocks above and below creates this incredible glowing blue light inside the cave. We also saw the Green Cave – though not as vibrant. But it was beautiful too. We stopped at the island of Vis, where part of Mamma Mia 2 was filmed (I’m a huge Mamma Mia fan!), and had shakshuka for breakfast.

We also swam at another rocky beach on another island but the water was freezing (Rob made it further than me. My nervous system was screaming it was not in a mood for a cold plunge).

And then we arrived in Hvar.

We had originally decided that we would get off the tour in Hvar and stay the night. But then before we left, I’d heard people loved it so much, so I changed it to two. And then once we were there, we ended up extending to three. We could have easily stayed longer (except that we did not have enough clothing!)

Hvar is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. Truly.

Every corner you turn, there is something that stops you. I took so many random pictures of doorways, and pathways, and gardens.

And yes, maybe some people will say it is too touristy. But I am learning, that touristy also often means beauty. And we are still in shoulder season, so it is not so bad (I agree touristy places in high season can be a nightmare). But there are real perks travelling this time of year. (And yes, there is a lot of beauty off the beaten path too, but I can also appreciate the touristy stuff!)

We had awesome food on Hvar too.

First night at a terrace garden overlooking the marina and an incredible sunset (Don Quinote). Second night on steps of an alley way (Leporini). Third night (best night) at another tucked away outdoor garden vibe (Mediterreaneo). All rather pricey but we felt like we were on a vacation on our travels. Our air bnb was super affordable too, so it balances out:)

The first full day we were there we rented a little Volkswagen Beetle (the thing to do!) and explored the whole island. We drove up through the mountains to Stari Grad, which was so charming we just sat on a bench by the water and soaked it in.

We then found a more secluded beach and cooled off there. We hit a couple more small towns before heading to Dubovica Beach, which is a very pretty beach. It’s a bit of a hike down to get there, but the water was gorgeous (although again, pretty chilly) and there is the cutest family run restaurant there (more like just eating in their yard. But so good. We had a fried fish they caught that morning). It was truly an amazing day exploring the island.

That night after dinner, we walked back along the marina and there was a boat with a choir on it, singing as the sun set. I took a video because I genuinely could not believe it was real. It felt like Disneyland, except it was just life. We were in awe (again)!

On our second (and last) full day, we took a water taxi to the Pakleni Islands and spent the whole afternoon doing absolutely nothing at Mlini Beach. We rented chairs, swam in the cold water, napped, and just lounged

If we stayed longer on Hvar, there would be many more beaches and islands I would explore! We met someone from India who said they visit 4 times a year (and he gave us all the good restaurants which of course we had no time to hit up). I totally get why they come so often.

On the last evening we climbed up to the fort at the top of Hvar that evening to watch the sunset. The lookout was breathtaking. And standing up there, looking out over this place we never planned to visit, we just felt so grateful. Another awe and thin moment.

Shorter Stays vs Longer ones

We will only be in Croatia for just under two weeks – which in real life is a long vacation for us, but on this trip, feels rushed.

In Lisbon, we had a full month so it allowed us to really go at a slower pace. There was no urgency. We could have slow mornings, work days, and still feel like we had plenty of time to explore. Even when I was busy with clients, I didn’t feel like I was missing out.

But on these shorter spurts, there feels like there is more of an urgency to get it all in. It is harder to slow down. Trying to balance work becomes harder bcs I just want to be out exploring! There is a subtle pressure that says I’m wasting time if I’m not out seeing everything.

And I interpret that feeling as my nervous system reading scarcity. Time is limited, so the internal signal says go, go, go.And it’s a completely understandable response. But I also know that the best moments on this trip have come from slowing down, not from cramming in more. And slowing down really has nothing to do with how long we are somewhere. It is more of my nervous system state.

I’m so glad that we listened to what felt right and stayed longer in Hvar. And those extra days gave us some amazing memories. Having a plan, but not being too married to it is what we are learning. Allowing space to change plans too is what I am trying to embrace.

What I’m Noticing

We’ve been gone for over two months now. Crazy, as I said.

And we know this chapter has a timeline. We need to be home at the beginning of July for a few reasons, including that Rob has a medical appointment he needs to get back for. And honestly, that reality is part of why we’re doing this. You just never know. You never know when the window is open and when it might close. So you go.

We also know we’ll be back in Europe. September brings my retreat that I am hosting in Italy and a cruise we planned with many of the retreat members (their partners are joining too) afterwards. Funny, it is a cruise that initially had Split on the itinerary but they had to cancel that spot and replace it with another spot in Greece. But we’ll hit Dubrovnik then, which is why we’re deliberately saving it for later. And we’ll pass through Montenegro for a day on that trip too.

But between now and July, we’re heading to Montenegro next (my son mentioned how funny it is that Montenegro was never on my bucket list and now I will have gone to it twice in one year!) We have to hit up an area out of the Schengen region (only allowed to stay in for 90 days out of 180 days), so Montenegro is what worked with logistics. We will then finish up with two weeks in Sicily.

None of which was on any itinerary when we left Canada. We are simply trusting the process of where we’re meant to go next.

Croatia has truly blown us away though. Put it on your bucket list! The history, the beauty, the water, the food, how well everything is kept. Stunning.

Rob and I keep saying the same thing to each other: when would we have ever done this? All the circumstances that lined up like dominoes to bring us here, right now.

I remember on Dec 31 having a discussion about what we were expecting this year to be like. We never would have guessed this. Ever. And we likely never would have planned something like this.

And that, I think, is the whole point of this adventure.

xoxo

Week 9: Where She Started Over, and Where I’m Starting Something

Posted on May 18, 2026 by Leah

Years ago, when my grandmother was passing away, I had one last visit with her.

I had always loved and admired her. She was an incredible human.

In the later years of her life, she had written her story (with the help of my cousin), and it was a remarkable one.

In it, she shared about life in pre-war Germany, the beautiful story of meeting my grandfather, the terrifying story of being of Jewish ancestry, her desire and plans to marry my Christian theological student grandfather (who had studied at Finkenwalde seminary under Bonhoeffer, that gives you a flavour of their perspective and overall story)… and eventually, how with Bonhoeffer’s help, they went to London to continue his ministry work, spending much time supporting Jewish families come to England.

I loved hearing and reading her stories, although many were painful to share. I’m so glad that she documented them all. Along with the careful documentation she kept over the years by way of letters (a shame that we no longer send and receive letters!), she dictated stories to my cousin who compiled them for her into a book that is one of my most cherished possessions.

In 2016, I even visited Germany with two of my kids and followed the locations mentioned in her book, tracing her steps. It was a very emotional experience to visit her old school, her old farm, even eat in the cafe where she would get cake…

Ok, back to the last conversation we ever had… she told me I needed to write.

She knew about some of the ups and downs and crazy stories I already had. My divorce, my remarriage, raising this blended family.

“You need to write this all down,” she said.

And over the years, I have written. A family blog for years, which I love that my kids can refer back to as I tried to capture so many of our memories.

But I know there is more of a book in me still. To be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to share all of my story yet, out of respect for my kids, because my story involves a lot about other important people in their lives.

Now while that story hasn’t been told yet, another one has.

The story of many of my teachings and frameworks that I’ve developed over the years. And instead of a book, they became guided journals. Not a blank journal. Not a full book. The in-between.

So it was an exciting, surreal moment to have four of my “projects” (the Resilience Journal, My Safe Space Affirmation and Journal Prompt Cards, the Worry Time Pad, and my new Doodle Journal) showcased at the London Stationery Show.

London, no less. Where my grandmother started her life over with my grandfather, having left everything behind in Germany.

The Week in London

We flew in from Portugal and it actually felt a bit shocking. Like we were being pulled back to a different season! Cooler air, grey skies, lots of rain. Back to jeans, long sleeves and a jacket all the time.

It truly highlighted how much I need and miss the sun when it’s not there.

Our first night we grabbed Indian food near our very basic (and very small!) hotel and settled in.

The next day was Mother’s Day (they don’t celebrate it this time of year in England, but it still was for me!).

Rob and I walked down to Covent Garden, and along the way we stumbled onto this pink Nesquik cereal shop that had just opened, giving out free cereal. Everything was pink and so so cute.

It reminded me of when my boys, Zach and Josh were little, and they would “make me” Froot Loops (my divorce cereal of choice, don’t ask!!) for Mother’s Day. They would pour the cereal, pour the milk in right away, wash me an apple, get me a drink. Then call me to come eat (so yes, the Froot Loops were very soggy by then). Even better, they’d practice the same meal, same routine for days in advance, which meant I’d end up with soggy Froot Loops a few days in a row.

I loved every single bowl, or rather the thought behind every bowl. I also love the memories of Zach setting the table, then giving Josh instructions, Josh carefully standing on a chair at the kitchen sink, washing the apple…

So having junk cereal on Mother’s Day in the pinkest cafe (pink is my fave colour) felt very appropriate and brought up some very tender memories.

We watched street performers at Covent Garden (honestly a masterclass in selling and working a crowd!! I love observing people and learning from them), had high tea at Brown’s Brasserie with the little sandwiches and scones, and then walked down to the London Eye.

We were a little worried at first when we saw in the distance it wasn’t moving, and we thought it was closed (even though we had tickets). Well, it turned out it had just had technical issues and was about to restart, so we ended up being first in line! (Little, fun miracles I’m calling things like that these days!)

The view of the city was gorgeous. We’ve done a few Ferris wheels on our travels over the years and always enjoy them.

We walked a lot, past Big Ben (although no longer called that), the beautiful Westminster Abbey, and then found a pub near Trafalgar Square, and I had a proper Sunday roast. So good. We used to have Sunday roasts when I was a kid, and it makes me crave doing one when the kids are all home!

25,000 steps later, we were back at the hotel and I got to talk to a few of my kids for Mother’s Day. All in all, a really good day.

The next day we walked to Camden Market along a canal lined with houseboats and little condos that open right onto the water. Who knew that existed in London?! It was so cute. And rainy (not so cute).

Camden itself was a but of a sensory overload, but admittedly quite cool to see. Stall after stall of food, art, thrift shops. We had a sushi burger (very yummy), a sausage all dressed in a bun (Rob was craving) and some “humble crumble” (again, a Rob craving). When the rain got too much, we headed back to the hotel for a quick power nap (and of course some work that I do need to squeeze in… because I am here working after all!)

Later that afternoon, we headed to the Stationery show to drop off some of my samples.

I’m part of a collective, *Impact Stationery”, that had a booth there, and they were setting up. They had run into all sorts of problems, so Rob and I stayed and helped build the display until about eight o’clock, then headed back and got a quick (but delicious) meal from a Vietnamese restaurant close by.

The Show

The London Stationery Show was the whole reason we were in London.

Rob left early on Tuesday morning to take the train up to Nottingham to spend a couple of days with my youngest stepson, Sam, who’s studying there. They planned a great couple of days together, including heading further north to visit the Royal Air Force museum. I understand they also had the most amazing pizza in Nottingham! Again, who knew?!?

I walked to the venue, and met the Impact Stationery team. The booth looked great and really stood out!

The first morning was a bit of a learning curve. We didn’t have a groove yet, didn’t really have the “elevator pitch” explaining who the collective was, our mission, our journals.

But by the second day, we found a bit more of a rhythm. Saw what people were asking for, and had some good conversations.

We won’t really know the results for a few weeks, once orders start coming in (that is what I’m putting out to the universe!). But overall, it was a success!

And regardless of the orders, it was a big success for me.

I often move quickly through things like this. I don’t stop to acknowledge and celebrate.

Years and years of education, training, conferences, research. Thousands and thousands of therapy (and eventually coaching) sessions over 27 years. Groups, memberships, workshops, presentations, retreats, conference addresses, and hundreds of thousands of downloads of my podcast Building Resilience. And of course lived experience: personal traumas, divorce, single parenting, remarriage, blending families, raising kids, mental health, chronic illness, babies, kids, teens, young adults, building a business, burnout, compassion fatigue…

All culminating into 4 journals. My frameworks, created from evidence based practices, written with my heart and soul poured into them. Time, money, and belief all invested in them.

To see them all on display. Watching people pick them up, ask about them, compliment them.

I’m allowing myself to take it all in and feel it.

I’m allowing myself to feel the pride I’m sure my grandmother has. The pride my late father has too. He also had a passion for writing, and near the end of his life started doing more of it. Oh and my cheerleading mom, who is also following in her mother’s steps and writing her own stories.

But most importantly, I’m allowing myself to feel my own pride. To celebrate. To take a moment to show some gratitude to past me who took a chance, followed an intuitive nudge and stepped into this very unknown creator mode. And gratitude to present me who is taking one step at a time, even though it is scary, there are real tangible risks, and there are lots of unknowns.

We went out for dinner after the show to debrief, celebrate together and talk about the next show in New York in August (so stay tuned)!

London on Foot

Rob and I spent our last couple of days just walking the city. The South Bank along the Thames. The Tower of London. Tower Bridge. Southwark Cathedral. Borough Market, where we finally got fish and chips (and found a place called Afterschool Cookies that had yummy cookies for me to evaluate as the cookie connoisseur that I now am!).

We also headed over for scones at the Crypt Cafe, which is exactly what it sounds like, a cafe in a crypt, and it was lovely.

The next day, we walked a bit more, did some work, then headed to the train to Gatwick airport where we boarded a plane and flew to Split, Croatia. We landed in the pouring rain and took a taxi to our tiny, clean, very basic Airbnb.

A new chapter. Again.It certainly is a solid way to grow your capacity and gently challenge your nervous system in a good way:)

The In-Between

I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother this week. Not just because of London, but because of what she asked me to do.

She told me to write it all down. And I have been, in different ways and at different paces. But the part that is ready, the frameworks and tools I’ve built over 25 years, found its way into these journals.

Not a book. Not a blank page journal. The in-between.

And honestly, this whole trip has felt like an in-between.

Between who I was before we left and whoever I’m becoming through this. Between the structured life I know how to run and this slower, less certain pace. Between Portugal’s colours and warmth, London’s vibrancy but grey skies and now Croatia’s rain, and hope to see sunshine and beauty soon 🙂

My grandmother built a new life in a place that wasn’t hers yet. Now I’m certainly not comparing our “adventures in recalibration” or sabbatirement (as my friend referred to it) to fleeing pre-war Germany. But I do think there’s something she understood about starting over that I’m only beginning to feel.

You don’t have to have the whole story figured out to start writing it. Sometimes you just need to begin with the in-between.

And standing in that exhibition centre, watching people pick up MY journals, I kept thinking about that last conversation. About her hand on mine. About “you need to write this all down.”

She didn’t say write a bestseller. She didn’t say write it perfectly. She said write it down.

Four journals at a stationery show in the city where she rebuilt her life. I think she’d like that.

xoxo

54 Days and a Rainy Goodbye

Posted on May 13, 2026 by Leah

I can’t believe I’m writing the last one of these “travel debriefs/ diaries” for Portugal!

Fifty -four days. Over seven weeks in Portugal.

When we started, a month in Lisbon felt like it was going to be so long! And it felt bold. Now it feels like we barely scratched the surface.

So this was our final few days in the Eastern Algarve, and they were pretty chill, which is how we wanted to end our time there.

The Last Days in the Algarve

We bookended the week with beach days at Ilha da Tavira (Praia do Barril). It is a super cute beach.

We were able to walk there from our AirBnb, passing lemon groves where the fruit is still half green and half yellow on the trees.

There’s a little train that runs the last kilometer to the beach from the road, which is adorable, and while we rode it one time, we preferred walking.

The beach is wide and natural and gorgeous. Again, another “Outerbanks beach” vibe. Except a little bit more touristy. We rented chairs and an umbrella, and they added a windscreen that we thought was unnecessary until the afternoon proved us wrong. We stayed the whole day, and that was the plan. I love those kind of days!

We liked it so much we went back on our last day and did the exact same thing!

In between, there were work days.

Back-to-back clients, walks squeezed in between sessions, simple meals at home. We kind of have a “working day” routine right now.

And of course, we also managed to squeeze in some great meals. One highlight was an all-you-can-eat grilled fish lunch in Olhão. They literally just throw fish on the BBQ and bring you platter after platter. We counted at least eight types. Some of them we couldn’t identify. Some were better than others, but overall we really enjoyed it.

We also found some really cute and good local, family run places for dinner a couple of nights in Santa Luzia where we were staying. Those places are my favourite!

On the Thursday, we went out to Vila Real de Santo Antonio (VRSA) where I met a woman who may help me out with the tours for my group next year at my retreat. She wanted to drive us around a bit so we can see some of the off the beaten path beauty. Beautiful beaches, then we went up into the hills with some incredible views. You could even see Spain from across the water.

The town VRSA itself was fine, clean, good shopping, but it didn’t capture me the way Tavira did. Sometimes there truly is a reason why all the tourists flock to certain towns.

Our Last Supper

Our final night, we went back to the first restaurant we ate at in Tavira on our first night. “Bossa Tavira”. Of course it was fully booked:( But the lovely owner recognized us, remembered it was our last night, and said she’d give us a table if we could be out by 8:45… which of course was not a problem. Anything for their amazing food!

Rob had octopus (of course – number 19, if you’re keeping track. (Bcs we are!). I had tuna. It was so good.

The next morning, we woke up to rain. And it was the day to drive to the airport. We joked that Portugal was sad because we were leaving, so the skies were crying. We then caught our flight to London…

What Slow Travel Actually Taught Us

If you know me, then you know I like to reflect on things. I like to find the lessons, the analogies that I can use later on, and love just pondering and musing.

So of course, wrapping up 54 days in one place, I’m going to have to debrief here. (But don’t worry, I will keep it short!)

We have always been go-go-go travelers. Even on vacation, there’s a pull to see everything, do everything, not miss anything.

There is a sense of not wanting to miss out on the amazing things a place has to offer. My nervous system is running on the “don’t miss out, keep moving” program.

This “trip” was of course different.

Firstly, we had the gift of time. So we knew that we could slow down.

But, I also had work to do… I finished off my Advanced Training in Nervous System Resilience Sept 2025 cohort (Sept 2026 cohort here we come! Get on the waitlist here), closed down my Connections membership (which I ran for 2 years), launched my Becoming small group program (following my free week long Midlife Recalibration Week event), continued on with my private clients and my Midlife Nervous System Rewire Community, put out my weekly Building Resilience podcast, and got ready for the London Stationery Show where I am showcasing my 4 journals!

(In case you don’t know about my Mental Health Guided Journals and Stationery brand called Resilient Brilliance,here is a quick run down:)

(1) RESILIENCE JOURNAL: A guided journal for emotional well-being and nervous system care. You can get it on Amazon here.

2) MY SAFE SPACE : AFFIRMATION AND JOURNAL PROMPT SET: You can get it on Amazon here

3) WORRY TIME PAD & PROGRAM : Evidence based program for managing anxiety, worry and overwhelm. You can get it on Amazon here.

But on our days off, it was different. There was no rush. We did one thing per day. Or even some days we did nothing. It felt like we were living in Lisbon more than visiting it.

I think the slower pace gave our systems a chance to actually settle. We actually experienced what we were doing instead of just “collecting it”.

We could have easily done more than a month in Lisbon and certainly a month in the Algarve. So we have learned that that amount of time is really a nice way to decompress and get to know a place.

My Favourite Person and Our Future

The other thing I noticed is how wonderful it is when you take away some distractions. At home, even during down time, there are always errands to run, house stuff to do, people to catch up with . But here it was just us. For 2 months.

Kind of heavenly.

I already knew I loved Rob, but this trip reminded me that he is genuinely my favourite person.

We laugh constantly. Even when we get on each other’s nerves (and yes, that happens sometimes!!), but we reach for humor. When I am the grumpiest, or feeling low, or anxious or overwhelmed, he can make me laugh – or at the very least smile.

We also had some thoughtful conversations about what we want going forward. Not vague “someday we should” conversations. Deliberate ones. What do we value? What kind of life are we designing?

There’s uncertainty in that, sure. But we’re choosing to remind ourselves that no matter what, our 85 year old selves, sitting on our front porch, will be reminiscing about this time and saying that it was some of the best few months of our life. We are always asking the question: will our 85 year old selves regret this or that. And that is helping guide our next steps.

Wise future selves we have (and I know we are always still laughing!)

I also noticed that I came into this trip with low expectations, and left feeling filled to the brim. There is a real sadness in closing our Portugal chapter. I think Portugal will be one of our forever-favorite places. Lisbon with all its colour. Porto and its charm -and our amazing restaurant . The Algarve – the west and the east. I’m so glad I will be back for my retreat next year!

But for now, the next chapter is calling, and I am excited to see what gets written.

xoxo

Middle of Nowhere to Cliff Walks

Posted on April 28, 2026 by Leah

If last week was about leaving the place that started to feel like home, this week was about figuring out what comes next when your plans need to shuffle!

Quiet Days

We had a few more days in Comporta before heading south. And they were quiet. Really quiet.

But I’m not complaining. We needed some quiet time.

We went on beach walks. Cooked at home. Worked. Napped. Watched shows. Talked to a couple of kids. Watched sunsets.

It sounds dreamy when I write it out like that! And, of course, parts of it were. Especially the sunsets, as I really do love them.

And we do feel like we are living a bit of a dream.

But we are also learning what our “ideal” dream is.

Comporta is a driving community. You drive to the beach. You drive to the store. There are no real walking paths. No sidewalks to walk on. Nowhere really interesting to walk.. And for two people who love to walk, it was hard!

I didn’t realize how much I depend on movement as part of my daily routine. And how much I enjoy my multiple walks a day! At home, we step outside and we walk. It’s built into the design of where we live; one of the benefits of living downtown. We had that benefit in Lisbon too. We would walk multiple times a day. We developed our favorite routes.

In Comporta, the only real option for walking was the beach and it’s a 7-minute drive just to get there. Walking outside the community we were in was walking in an area filled with construction, and otherwise a lot of nothing.

It may sound silly, but when walking is one of the main ways your system stays regulated, losing easy access to it is a bigger deal.

So it was a good reminder that regulation isn’t just about what we do. It’s also about what our environment allows us to do. And we love our walkable environment. So all future locations need to have some good walking options!

The Plan Falling Apart is the Plan

Mid-week we ran into a bit of a snag. Or at least a snag that we needed to plan to avoid.

I was researching the new e-visa that Europe is implementing, partly for my retreat participants in September, and I came across something I had forgotten. It was a rule I had encountered when my son was travelling in Europe. Basically you can only travel in the Schengen Area for 90 days. Now he’d worked around it by visiting countries outside the zone, and I’d assumed that reset the clock…But I had forgotten that he ended up going to Thailand.

So, being in countries outside the Schengen zone don’t count as time, but they don’t reset the clock.

The rule states you can’t travel more than 90 days within any 180-day period. And not only did our current trip count, but the 4 or 5 days Rob and I had spent in Portugal back in January (scouting locations for my retreat) counted too.

We started doing the math. And we realized we were going to go over with our “new” original plan (because remember our original, original plan was to head to Lisbon for a month and maybe a bit extra in the Algarve, but we figured we’d be home by end of April, or very least beginning of May).

But our new plan was to travel until June or July. But we had to rejig everything from this “new plan” …we had to start looking at countries outside the Schengen zone that we’d never even considered. Places that weren’t on our radar at all. Ever.

And for me, looking into countries I had never considered tipped me into Team Hyper. But I also noticed that once the initial hyper spike passed and we started actually looking at options, it got kind of exciting! These are places that we never would have considered. My son even said, “it’s good for you – it’ll get you out of your comfort zone”. (Like this whole thing is not already out of my comfort zone. Ha!)

Travel is seriously one of the best nervous system amplifiers. It stretches you. Add on travel surrounded by some measured impulsivity and uncertainty, it definitely pushes you. So we shall see.

It appears to be yet another example of “the plan falling apart is the plan” (at least we hope so!)

Heading South

Because my birthday was on the Friday, I wanted to head to the Algarve a little early so we would have more options of things to do, and there is just not a lot left to do in Comporta.

Our first stop was Albufeira, which everybody warned us about. “It’s so touristy. So trashy.” We don’t usually listen to that kind of thing. Most places that are touristy got that way for a reason. They have something people want to see.

And sure, Albufeira isn’t somewhere we’d want to stay long-term (or even short term). But we walked the back pathways, saw the beach (really pretty), and found a great Thai restaurant off the beaten path for lunch.

Then we drove to our accommodation we had booked last minute for a just couple of nights (we had to scramble for these early days – and I needed a place with a washing machine. These logistics become important when you are slow traveling like this). Luckily we found a super cute place. We arrived and headed into town (Carvoeiro) We went into town, and had a nice meal at an Italian restaurant.

My Birthday

The next day was my birthday.

Rob had booked me for a Japanese head massage (amazing!) and hair treatment (while he got a haircut!)

And then we went to a fancy beach club right on the ocean. Gorgeous. A Bali bed overlooking the water, a beautiful pool, and we just totally lounged. It was a great way to spend my day!

For dinner, we drove to a place that was supposedly highly recommended. Luckily we walked along this gorgeous path to get there and were oohing and ahhing over the view, because dinner was one step above “meh”.

And although I was tempted to go down the “this was supposed to be special” path, we just shrugged it off and walked back along the beautiful path, soaking in yet one more sunset. We finished the evening with me bawling during the final episode of “Love Story”. Heartbreaking. But I went to bed feeling oh so grateful.

I do think there’s something about being on this trip for well over a month now where the pressure to make every moment count has lightened up. Some things are amazing. Many things actually. But some things are just “meh”. And both are just part of it.

Cliff Walks, Caterers, and the Westin

The next morning, before we left, we did this cliff walk to a lighthouse near the resort. It reminded me of the Walk of the Gods we did in Italy a few years ago. It was stunning. You could even hear the waves slamming against the cliffs below; they sounded like thunder!

Then we drove up to meet my future caterer who’s going to be doing the food for my Portugal retreat next year. She was lovely! She’d made us a bunch of food to try including this incredible snack grazing box ( like a charcuterie box)

We checked into the Westin, where we’re using some points we’ve been saving for a while. I actually took the week officially off so we could have a down week (and we need less space if I’m not working).

Our room wasn’t ready yet, so we walked down to the beach and had a picnic with our amazing box. It was so nice. We spent the rest of the day lounging by the pool. They actually play spa music around the property which is actually pretty nice!

That evening we drove out to explore the area near the villa where my retreat will be held. We ended up finding a great Indian restaurant right next door. Really good food, super casual, and the owner was so friendly. We’ll probably do at least one night there during the retreat.

To finish off our week, we spent Sunday just hanging out on the beach and the pool.

My system is getting better at learning to slow down. And getting better at just rolling with what comes up.

It’s hard to believe that we have been here for 6 weeks! It is the longest we have ever been away! It for sure is an adventure we are excited to be on.

I turn 54 today

Posted on April 24, 2026 by Leah

Birthdays for my kids always included birthday gifts, birthday meals, birthday cake (usually homemade), a candy birthday poster (different every year and different every kid), a birthday party, a birthday instagram or Facebook plots, and once I had my family blog, a blog birthday post that listed the all the things I loved about them based on their age.

It was no small feat considering we had 3 of the 5 kids’ birthdays all in the span of 2 weeks.

I only stopped doing the blog post a couple of years ago when life seemed to be getting too much (which I realize now was part of midlife changes I was experiencing with roles transitioning, hormones changing, and feeling like I had less capacity to handle things in general, some little things had to give).

But it was a tradition I enjoyed, bcs it allowed me to be very intentional and appreciative of the beautiful humans I have the honour of being a parent to – in one capacity or another (mom, step mom, mother in law).

But in all my years doing it, I’ve never had a post done for me.

Now, I’m not complaining, bcs I’ve had romantic poems written for me,I’ve have beautiful texts sent to me, gifts and flowers delivered, amazing handmade cards with tender notes, letters and messages from all the people that I love in my life. I’ve had special meals, unique gifts and creative paintings.

But never blog post. Never a “# of things someone loved about me” post.

When I was 35, I threw my own birthday party. I was single, divorced and realized no one had ever thrown me a real birthday party. So I did.

It was fabulous (and this is the only photo I could find… but it’s with two of my besties forever)

I rented a karaoke machine. I invited everyone I knew. Dear friends came into town, we ate amazing food, had fun drinks, sang and danced our hearts out into the wee hours of the morning, and salvaged my birthday cake that was dropped and slid down my wall.

I realized that I could throw my own parties. And it was fantastic.

And today I turn 54 and I realized, I can create my own list of “54 things I love about me”.

Arrogant? Selfish? Self centered ?

No.

Taking care of me. Giving me what I need to hear. Having my own back. Some self love, self compassion and a little fun.

Celebrating me.

All things that my midlife self needs to hear right now.

I keep a file on my phone called my “file of fabulous” where I keep all the kind texts, messages,photos of cards, poems, testimonials (work related)… my son calls it my “hype file. It’s a file I think we all should have. Something to turn to when feeling low, needing a boost or some love.

But it’s filled with what others think.

But, what do I think about me?

What do I think about who I am, who I have become, my character, my traits, my value, my roles, my successes, my failures?

What do I love about me – much harder list to create, but somehow, celebrating me this year feels important.

So let’s goooooo….

Happy birthday me.

Here are 54 things I love about me . In no particular order (much easier that way).

I love that I am writing this list and don’t give a-you-know- what about people’s opinions about it. It’s for me. (But I hope it inspires you to write your own list!)
I love that I think of my kids multiple times a day, wondering, praying, sending love and good vibes – but give them the space to live their own life.
I love that I have never colored my hair.
I love that I love to laugh and have smile lines that prove I love to laugh. I love that I am pretty funny too.
I love that Rob and I are on this adventure traveling together. Our travel adventure and our life adventure.
I love that we talk about everything and have no secrets. And we are always laughing and lovin on each other.
I love that I still take photos of me even though watching my body change with menopause has been hard. I love that I’m trying to embrace all the changes. I love Anthropologie bcs it fits my body well. I’m sad I miss the April birthday credit bcs I’m in Europe this year.
I love that I aim for 12500 steps a day and rarely miss.
I love that I get random ideas for things to do in my business and just do them. I love that over the years I have tried so many business opportunities! And I love that I am multi passionate
I love that I always make time when my kids want to talk. And I’m pretty wise. I may give too many opinions, but I also love that about me.
I love that I’m awesome friend and sometimes I’m a terrible friend but don’t beat myself up over it. And I’m pretty wise here too 😅 And I may also give too many opinions, but I also love that.
I love that I love traditions and create them. And that my kids get annoyed with some of them. I love that I collect nativities too.
I love that I love to cry in movies, shows, books, songs. I love to cry for tender things.
I love that I take courses, trainings, certifications – I’m always investing in myself, my education, my personal growth
I love that I have a strong faith, and I trust and I doubt, and ask questions and I ponder, listen, and pray.
I love that my kids are always a top priority to me.
I love that I invest in my marriage and choose Rob daily. He’s my favorite person.
I love that I am a good daughter and sister. I’m a decent aunt, cousin and niece I think. I’ve been blessed with a good family.
I love that I was a good daughter in law to two sets of in laws who I loved and respected.
I love that I travelled on my own with my two little boys. And girlfriends. I love that I have some incredible memories from my single mom years.
I love that I eat chocolate bars weirdly.
I love that I change the words of songs that I sing.
I love that I have created 280 podcast episodes. And never missed a week in 5 years
I love that I have taken incredible trips – with my husband, with my family, with my friends
I love that I instilled (or tried to) the love of travel in my kids.
I love that I raised my kids according to what I thought was right (even though I made many mistakes) and I did my best and feel proud that I did my best.
I love that I forgive myself for the mistakes with raising my kids too. Parenting is darn hard. It’s easiest to judge before you are a parent with a kid at that stage.
I love that I love Loblaws white cake, dairy milk chocolate bars, chocolate tort cake from ki, good homemade cookies. I love that I love sweets I guess. But I also love sushi, cacio Pepe and Coke Zero. And any meal anyone else makes me. That’s my fave.
I love that I love good food. But don’t need fancy. Actually prefer non fancy.
I love that I love karaoke. Especially with my family.
I love that I have devoted 27 years as a speech language pathologist and have deeply loved many of my clients (and am ok admitting some were not my favourite)
I love that I took a leap and created the Bella Vita retreat. I absolutely adore my Bellas.
I love that I don’t know a lot of stuff and don’t mind saying so. I can also laugh at myself. A lot.
I love that I know a lot of stuff and am able to simplify and teach it.
I love that I tell a lot of stories and and create a lot of analogies
I love that as I raised my kids, I gave them opportunities for learning, developing skills, taking classes, programs, attending camps.
I love that I rarely missed one of their games, recitals, concerts, doctors appts, activities or even signing their permission slips.
I love that I have helped my kids with homework, friend challenges, logistics of applications, itineraries, class schedules – always willingly and truly wanting to. In the past and now.
I love that I have saved for a rainy day and had a disciplined system for savings for rainy days, travel, kids education, and retirement. I love that I still acknowledge I have money issues though and am working on them!
I love that I have experienced hurt, pain, trauma, loss, disappointment, rejection, unkindness, unfairness, cruelty… and have survived. And love that ii allow myself to still grieve.
I love that I can admit to my flaws, but have learned they do not diminish my worth.
I love that I have given generously to charities over the years
I love that I take a ton of photos
I love that I have created 4 guided journals
I love that I have created a solid circle of women in my life – in person and online.
I love that I have created programs to help others that range from free to low ticket to high ticket.
I love that I am a supportive wife. And a terrible one at times too 🫤 But I am fiercely loyal and committed. And super fun.
I love that I love sunsets and sunrises – and used to force my kids to watch then on vacation. Especially on the beach. I love the beach. And I love thin places and thin moments.
I love that I plan great trips – and we go on them. Plant an idea in my head and I’ll make it happen.
I love that I am a good mom and step mom -even if I messed up over the years, I think I still hit the 80% mark. I love that I know I’m not perfect, but know my heart is in the right place even when I mess up. I love how I keep adding ones about parenting bcs it’s the most important to me and the hardest.
I love that I have a lot of compassion for others and often make time to listen, coach, advise, witness and just be present.
I love that I love deep relationships. I love asking in depth questions and getting to know peoples lives bcs I care (although some may think it’s nosey 🤷🏼‍♀️)
I love that I’ve started prioritizing me more, having my own back, setting healthy boundaries, not over apologizing, saying no, advocating for my needs. I love that I keep my promises, and you can always count on me.
I love that I already feel I have a led a rich life, and am truly blessed and filled with gratitude. I love that I’m excited for more life. More abundance. More joy.

And one for good luck… I love that I could have kept going with this list and I snuck extra ones here and there…. Bcs I love trying to love my life to the fullest.

(And I love the colour pink, big hugs from my kids, kisses from my husband, text messages from my friends…and I love that I can be over the top and too much for some).

Happy birthday me and to every layer and version of brilliant messy me.

54 has never looked so good 🎉😍❤️

Here’s to many more years…

When You Have to Leave the Place That Started to Feel Like Home

Posted on April 22, 2026 by Leah

Last week I wrote about how Lisbon had stopped feeling like a trip and started feeling like life.

It kind of felt like we had our own little neighbourhood. Even our favourite restaurants. And our walking routes. And our little place felt like home. We truly loved the location!

And then, before we knew it, we had to leave it.

The Last Days in Lisbon

We started the week heading back out to Cascais because we loved it so much the first time. We ended up finding a cute mom and pop restaurant and the meal ended up being one of our top meals of the whole trip! (We love to rate out meals on what position they fit in comparison to all out meals… our meal in Porto is still holding strong though) .

From Cascais, we walked along the water to the next town to catch the train back to Lisbon. It was quieter than the first time we’d done that walk. We finished off our “last full non working day” with a visit to Leon Bistro (which I always get confused and call it Chez Leon) which was one of my fave places in Lisbon.

The next few days we did some walking around, but it was mainly work time. We did walk about checking out some hotels for next year’s retreat in Portugal (we will spend a few days in Lisbon before going to the Algarve for the retreat).

We checked a few more areas we hadn’t explored, had a delicious meal in a less touristy neighborhood, and then had an ok lunch in a very touristy areas. We couldn’t resist the lure of the location, knowing we would likely sacrifice cost and maybe quality (although the food was decent). And of course we had to go say goodbye to my new friend at the Cookie House. He had just opened when we arrived in Lisbon, and already I think we were some of his favourite clients:)

Walking through Lisbon those last couple of days, it was weird to think about how everything that had been new at the beginning now felt familiar. The streets I used to have to use my map to figure out now just made sense. And I loved how the little spots we’d discovered had become “our” spots.

And that is what I learned about spending a month somewhere. You end up settling in. You build a rhythm. Your nervous system stops orienting and starts belonging. I definitely recommend it!

And then you leave….

Starting Over

On Friday, we headed to the airport so we could pick up a rental car, and then we headed south. We decided to do a little detour to check out Evora.

Evora is known for their Roman ruins and the Chapel of Bones, which is exactly what it sounds like. About 5,000 bones making up the walls. It’s intense, but fascinating too. The Roman ruins were also pretty interesting to see. To think how long they have been there!

The town of Evora itself is cute. All white buildings with red Spanish-looking tiled roofs.

But seeing the uniformity, I realized how much we’d been spoiled by the colours of Lisbon and Porto. There’s something about all that colour on the buildings that just makes a city feel alive! Evora, while cute and had some fascinating history, felt a bit flat to look at in comparison.

We then headed to our destination for the next week: Comporta.

Comporta is supposed to be the “Hamptons of Portugal”. The new Algarve. Everyone’s coming here, apparently. And honestly? We were wondering if we were missing something.

We were very grateful to have a friend of a friend who rented us their place for the week, but the area itself feels (and is!??!) very unfinished. Lots of construction. Lots of building vacation type homes. But everything was “under construction” .

Even where we are staying still feels a little cold. Kind of in the middle of nowhere. Tiny fridge. No bath (again!). Harsh lighting and then concrete floors (I know they are modern and cool, but they are not cozy).

And this is where the nervous system piece kicks in.

Your environment is the first thing your nervous system reads. Before you consciously think about whether you like a place, your system is already scanning. The lighting. The temperature. The sounds. Whether it feels open or enclosed. Safe or unfamiliar.

And Comporta read as unfamiliar. Unfinished. A bit cold. And of course we have no routine, no groove, no bearings.

I unpacked (because that always helps me settle in), but it still didn’t feel right. And I caught myself thinking, “I want to go home.” But the funny thing is, by home I meant Lisbon!

I think that says a lot about how quickly you can attach to a place when your nervous system gets comfortable there. A month ago, Lisbon was brand new and disorienting too. And now it was the thing I wanted to go back to.

Beach Days and Tablecloths

Comporta’s saving grace is the beach. It really is stunning. Reminds me so much of the Outer Banks which is my happy place.

But the beaches are also raw and beautiful, and we didn’t bring loads of beach stuff with us… so we went into town looking for towels, couldn’t find any, and ended up buying two tablecloths instead. Resourceful for sure!

The first full day we headed to the beach and it was packed because it was a Saturday. We lay in the sun on our tablecloths for a while, got super hot, and with no umbrella, no shade, we eventually just came back to our place.

Usually I’d be in my head about “wasting” a beach day, but I’m choosing comfort these days so it felt good to just head back to lounge at home, watch some shows, read, have a nap. Later we returned to the beach for a walk and a spectacular sunset. Much better. Luckily the next day, we found a place that sold beach umbrellas – which we knew would be useful for when we head to the Algarve next.

Restaurants in Comporta are also insanely expensive. Ridiculous really. Scandinavian prices. Which when we are on a lengthy trip like this, not the best.

But we were kind of tired of eating out anyway, so cooking it is! We are packing picnics for the beach. Making dinners at home. Tried some of the famous Portuguese sardines (which we paid a fortune for… long story but we thought 4 tins were 24 euro, but they were actually 74 euro. Yikes). They were ok. Protein for the win.

What This Trip Has Taught Me About Food

We have always loved food. We love to eat out. Even at home. And as much as we want to cook to save money, I didn’t realize how much eating out is part of how we get to know a place.

Over the years, as we travel, we have had some incredible meals. And the meals we remember most aren’t the ones at the fancy restaurants (we actually rarely do fancy).. They’re the hole-in-the-wall spots where someone’s mom made the cake. Or the little neighbourhood restaurants where the locals go.

Food has been how we’ve gotten to know the culture here too. The way people eat, what they take pride in, what they share, and what they recommend. We have never eaten so many octopus dishes and chocolate mousse (and yes, pastel de natas too).

And being in Comporta without that, with a tiny fridge and restaurants we couldn’t justify, made us realize just how central food has been to how we’ve experienced Portugal. While we have always known that food is a big deal to us, this trip made it really clear that when we travel, food is a big way we connect with a place. And when you take that away, the experience feels completely different.

It also made me think about something we’ve talked about for years. We live downtown Toronto and we’ve always wondered what it would be like to live somewhere quieter, more rural. And I’ve always said I thought I’d miss the restaurants. Being in the middle of nowhere in Comporta confirmed it! Food and access to good food is a huge part of what makes a place feel like home for us. Something to keep in mind for our future…

What I’m Noticing

The move to this new location has reminded me of how much energy our nervous systems spend on orienting. When you’re in a familiar environment, that energy gets freed up for other things. You think more clearly. You feel more grounded. You enjoy things more.

And when you’re in a new environment, even a beautiful one, your system is working overtime just to figure out where you are and whether you’re safe.

I guess that is why travel is considered an amplifier for your nervous system. It pushes you to expand, to be uncomfortable, and then to recalibrate. And the best thing to do is to just roll with it. Give yourself time to adjust. Unpack. Go for a walk. Find a cute restaurant. Locate the grocery store. the grocery store. Just let your system catch up to where your body is.

We’ve still got a couple of more weeks in Portugal ahead, which is exciting. Then off to London, then to Croatia. Then we have to make our way out of the Schengen countries for a bit because of visa restrictions. That in itself is a whole team hyper production… we shall see where we end up.

xoxo

When travel starts feeling like life…

Posted on April 13, 2026 by Leah

We’re in our final stretch here in Lisbon and the days are starting to blur.

Not in a bad way. More in a “wait, what did we do on Thursday?” kind of way.

Which I think means this has stopped being a trip and started being… life.

As I shared last week, we took a little “vacation” to head to Porto and squeeze in some coastal and countryside stops. And when we got back to our little apartment (annoying little bathroom and all), it felt like coming home.

That surprised me.

Because we’ve only been here a month. But something about walking back through our neighbourhood, knowing which streets to take, where our favourite foods are (already have those!!) . But it felt familiar. Safe, even.

And I think that’s a nervous system thing.

My system has started to settle here. The novelty has faded just enough that my brain isn’t working overtime to orient anymore.

And what’s replaced it is this small sense of belonging.

But my Team Hyper brain doesn’t like to rest, so there is a new tension creeping in.

“Oh no, we’re running out of time”

And now instead of “are we enjoying this enough?” (my Week 3 spiral), it’s “are we fitting everything in?”

Which is honestly just the same anxiety wearing a different outfit. My brain can get so creative. Ha!

The Week in Wandering

So back up to last weekend, we hit Porto, then had Easter Sunday in Figueira Da Fos, and on the Monday morning, made our way to Nazare.

It’s a tiny little beach town, just a strip along the water with big waves and not much else. Our hotel was decent, nothing special. No bath:(

But within a two-minute walk, and 5 minutes of getting there (our room was not ready), we found what might be the best grilled chicken we’ve had in Portugal. I know I keep saying that about different meals, but this was seriously so good. And so so simple. Sometimes the unassuming little spots (aka hole in the walls) are the ones that surprise you and make the best food!

We then walked the boardwalk. Wandered some back streets. It was cloudy and quiet and honestly, exactly the kind of low-key day we needed before heading to our next stop. Dinner was a good seafood rice (we’ve had seafood rice three times since we have been here). Rob rated it number 3 on our trip, I say number 2)

The next morning we drove to Obidos.

A walled city with a castle. And it is so cute. Like, storybook cute. We loved it.

We walked along the top of the castle walls (you can just go up there and walk them, which was super cool, but a little scary – I’m not great with narrow walkways and heights).

Then we wandered the tiny cobblestone streets, found a little restaurant where I decided to be brave and ordered a massive pork dish. I actually didn’t realize how massive it would be! The portion made us both laugh when it arrived. I am not usually such a meat eater.

Then we headed into a chocolate shop for dessert (of course). Amazing chocolate cake. Some kind of chocolate mousse. Heavenly.

But then something happened that of course, I will put it into some “nervous system” musings for you…

A man came in with his four kids, clearly just to use the bathroom. The shopkeeper politely told him he’d need to buy something. He said sure, sure. And of course he didn’t. And on his way out when she mentioned it again, he started berating her. Raised his voice. Told her “good luck with your business” on his way out the door.

In front of his kids, no less. And I just sat there thinking, how does someone do that and feel OK about it?

And why can’t we support small businesses? Why are we so entitled that using someone’s facilities and then getting hostile when they set a boundary feels acceptable?

It was very bothersome. Partly because it’s a nervous system thing; when someone else’s dysregulation shows up so loudly like that, you feel it in your own body. And partly because it was just plain unkind.

And partly because as a small business owner I know how hard it is. You do stuff, you try to serve, you try to set the bar high and deliver quality, but there are always some who will want to take as much as they can for free, and feel entitled to do so. And even be unkind.

I just wish we could all be a little kinder and considerate…

Ok – back to travel diaries…

We made our way back to Lisbon and like I said earlier, it felt like coming home.

The next couple of days were mostly work days. Which is the reality of doing this kind of extended travel. Not every day is an adventure. Some days are laptops and lunch and trying to stay focused to work into the evenings. And always trying to get my steps too.

We did sneak out one afternoon for lunch and found this adorable tapas place tucked into some stairs near our neighbourhood. Two types of tuna. Patatas bravas. These little goat cheese packets that were incredible. We sat outside in the sun and it was a perfect lunch. But for the rest of the week it was these protein bowls I have been making (and Rob is getting sick of – but I figure it’s a good balance from all the eating out!)

On Friday, we took the train out to Sintra. We’d been told it was a must-see. And it really is stunning. We tuk-tukked up to Pena Palace and walked the gardens and the outside of the castle. Then hiked over to the Moorish Castle (decided not to go in as we were tired, it was windy, and sometimes you just know your limit).

We found this path back down to town through the woods that felt almost magical. Like a secret shortcut that only the locals know about (ok- and every tourist too bcs the place is filled with them!)

Lunch was at a spot our tuk tuk driver had recommended and it did not disappoint. Octopus, an amazing tuna sandwich, pork cheeks (yes, weird choice for us) and a beet and apple salad (realy good combo, I’ll have to make it when I am home!)

After lunch we wandered a bit more and checked out one more palace (Regaleira) and walked to the train station.

We hopped on what we thought was our train back to Lisbon. Except (and this is something I never even considered but probably should have) Lisbon has multiple train stations. So our train took us on a scenic tour to a completely different part of the city.

And we had no idea where we were!! Now on a normal day, we probably could have figured out the metro. But we were exhausted. We’d walked hills all day. Our legs were done. Our brains were done too lol.

We honestly tried. We both looked at the map. And then decided to uber it home. At least ubers are pretty cheap here.

(And honestly, this too is such a good nervous system lesson. When your capacity is low, problem-solving gets much much harder. Everything takes longer. And sometimes the smartest move is just finding the easiest path forward instead of pushing through)

That evening we decided to try out a rooftop restaurant that was supposed to have a great view. It totally did! We ended up chatting with a couple from Tasmania sitting next to us. Didn’t get their names, but we talked all through dinner and it again it reminded me of another reason why I love travel so much. People your life would never cross with, and for a couple of hours, it does.

Saturday was our chill day (or our attempt at one). We headed to the Alfama district for brunch. Our first choice was closed. So we wandered the hills and let me tell you, Alfama has a lot of hills. We found a cute little place called Audrey’s. Rob ordered porridge. I swear he sometimes makes the most bizarre choices at restaurants (it’s an ongoing joke in our family).

That afternoon, we explored a part of Lisbon we hadn’t been to before and end up going into this cute little café for high tea. The owner was lovely and it was pretty unique.

And then because we are officially in “cram everything in” mode (less than a week left) we had booked a sunset cruise.

The boat ride ended up being pretty cold and super windy. Chairs were being blown over so we eventually retreated below. We sailed past the Belém Tower, under the bridge, and got a beautiful close-up view of the Cristo Rei statue from the water. Not exactly the romantic sunset cruise I’d envisioned, but memorable in its own (very windy) way.

We ended the night at Time Out Market (it has so many great choices!). Sushi and octopus. Our reliable go-to when we need food fast and good.

Sunday was slow. We ended up just staying in in the morning and watching a few of the talks we had missed last week from the semi annual conference our church puts on. And then went to my favourite restaurant in all of Lisbon: Leon Bistro. (I call it Chez Leon in my head.) We shared carrot salad and salmon ceviche. Then I had this lightly breaded chicken and tomato salad. Rob had Salmon. And the most incredible chocolate mousse. By far my fave dessert in Lisbon too.

We ended the day wandering, and a but of shopping and chilling in our place. A quiet end to the weekend.

What I’m Noticing

Here’s the phrase that kept coming up this week:

The days are long, but the weeks are short.

It’s something people say about parenting. But it’s true about travel too.

Each day feels full. And it feels like we have so much time. But then suddenly it’s the Sunday before you are leaving, and you’re wondering where the weeks went and panicking about what you haven’t seen yet!

I noticed Rob and I both had this moment mid-week where we looked at each other and said, “Oh no. We’re running out of time.”

And it moves so quickly for me from savouring to squeezing it all in.

From what do we feel like doing? to what haven’t we done yet?

But I am getting better at catching it.

Because that shift from presence to pressure is the exact thing I’ve been writing about this whole trip.

It’s my nervous system doing what it does: scanning for what’s unfinished. What’s unresolved. What might be missed.And it reads it as a threat, of course

And I don’t want to spend our last days here in that hurried, pressured energy.

So I’m trying to hold both.

Yes, our time is winding down.

And yes, we can still be here for what’s left of it.

Being in a city for a month has been a very cool experience. I love the feeling that Lisbon has become a kind of home. We have our favourite restaurants. Walking routes. Inside jokes.

It is a beautiful city, and we both agreed on our top three European cities. And we both know that it will always have a special place in our heart.

But I’m not going to rush it yet, because we still have a few more days to take it all in, before our journey continues….

xoxo

Hills, Porto, and Thin Moments

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Leah

We’re in week three here in Portugal and this week felt like a bit of a shift.

I’m getting the groove of working later; starting from late afternoon into the evening.

The only challenge (apart from being a wee bit tired at times) is the lighting in the room I use to hop on my zoom calls is yellowish. So I look very vintage. Almost like we are filming in sepia.

I just don’t like the idea that vintage stores are showcasing clothing I used to wear, so the vintage lighting in my “office” is just a reminder that time is marching on.

But I digress. That topic deserves a whole other post.

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We are still walking a lot during our days (more on that in a minute), but I am trying to figure out a way to get some more strength training in because I was doing so well at home!

And let’s face it, the food situation is heavenly from a palate and experience point of view, but my midlife body is warning me that I need more fiber, more protein and less of absolutely everything else.

But, stressing about it is counter to everything – so we will just keep on moving!

This week we also left Lisbon for a few days to head to Porto.

Kind of a vacation in the midst of our adventures.

We are currently on our way back down to Lisbon, stopping in some beach towns to try to take in as much as we can.

But, one thing that keeps nagging me is the question: are we enjoying this enough?

There’s a part of me that is loving every second.

A part of me that is feeling the weight of no real plans past the next couple of weeks.

A part of me that is so grateful that we have taken this opportunity.

A part of me that wants to make sure I am appreciating it enough…

So many parts!

But let’s do a bit of a recap of the past week.

The Week in Wandering

At the start of the week, we were still in Lisbon.

We got up early one morning and went for a long walk. It feels really good to just get up and out and moving. I love our new little walking routes that we take in the mornings.

Then it was a full-on work stretch for a few days. Monday – Wednesday were kind of ordinary days.

Work, a quick lunch, back to work. Then dinner.

We have been trying to stick to one meal out, and something simple we make at home (chicken or salad, although I’ve been creating these yogurt fruit protein bowls (I had brought some of my protein powder with me from home).

One late afternoon, a cleaning person came to our airbnb ( a pleasant surprise to us!). We had to disappear for a couple of hours, so we went out for what we thought would be a walk and grocery run, and ended up in the Alfama district, which is just so pretty.

We had time to kill so sat on a patio overlooking the city for a bit, and then instead of heading home, Rob got a craving for a charcuterie board. We have seen plenty of them around, and had said it was on our “while in Lisbon list”. He looked up where to find the best charcuterie board in Lisbon so we headed over there.

It was a small place called LE 17.45. We ate outside, and it was one of those meals that was more than just food. It was an experience

The kind where everything is just… really good. The food, the setting, the energy of it.

And it actually sparked a conversation.

Do you go back and try to recreate those experiences?

Or do you leave them as they are?

I’m still not sure. We decided we would wait and see how we feel.

The next day, partly feeling the heaviness from all the cheese, and partly because we want to explore as much as we can, we decided to walk a different direction. We ended up wandering through some very hilly streets.

And the challenge, the push of walking the steep hills felt good.

I love walking along the flat of the river, but sometimes the hard of the hills feels good too. Like I am expanding and pushing myself in a good way.

A few more exploratory walks, including one where Rob got a haircut (the have a surprising high ratio of barbershops to people who need haircuts and shaves it seems…), I did some window shopping, and we had some yummy creations from the “Potato Project”, and some delicious “dubai style” strawberries (chocolate and pistachio).

I swear, so much of travel for us is the food.

And I am not going to try to pretend otherwise.

On Friday we picked up a rental car (a bit of a fiasco, but we managed) and drove to Porto.

We stopped in Aveiro along the way. It’s known as “Portugal’s Venice,” which might be a bit of a stretch, but it was cute. Canal, boats, lots of tourists.

We found a spot for tapas. Chickpea salad, cod fritters, a mini steak sandwich (that was ridiculously small, but very good) and tomato rice.

Then ice cream. Of course. (I need to prep for our time in Italy when I host my next retreat. So it is kind of a work obligation!)

We also made a quick stop at the Body Shop for bubble bath, as I had high hopes that one of the hotels we had booked would have a nice bath. My nervous system is desperate for a bath before bed!

We then made our way to Porto.

A couple of years ago, in anticipation of a gap year we were hoping to take in a few years, we started collecting Marriott Bonvoy points.

And since this is kind of our impromptu “gap” adventure, we decided to cash in on some of those points, so had booked a Marriott Bonvoy hotel on points.

While the hotel was a bit out of the way, it was beautiful and forced us to get some good steps in to go back and forth to old town Porto.

Porto is beautiful. Stunning really. To me, it has this fairy tale feel (kind of like Prague, imo).

There are lots of hills. Lots of steps. But spectacular views everywhere.

That first night we found a restaurant with a really high rating: Taberna dos Fernandes.

We waited in line, got in, and had one of those meals where everything is just perfect.

Fresh tomatoes. Fried sardines. Garlic shrimp. Seafood rice that was so good but so filling (and so big. We obviously ordered way too much – we could have definitely skipped the appetizers, but they were so so good too!)

We made friends with the younger couple that was sitting beside us, and that actually was also what made the dinner “an experience” as well.

We started talking (the tables were close!) and ended up chatting all the way through dinner.

I think we really bonded over the shared love of the book “Die With Zero” – truly the book that I think planted the idea of a gap year for us, and pushed us to seize the time we have now to go on this adventure.

They live in Hong Kong. She’s from South Korea. He’s from Spain. And somehow we’re all sitting in Porto having dinner “together”.

It’s one of those things I love about travel.

You meet people your life would never have crossed with.

And for a few hours, it does.

I wish I had thought to take a picture. But maybe that would have been weird. Maybe it was just me who really appreciated this experience and bookmarked this memory that I think will be giving me dividends in the future.

The next day we explored more of Porto.

We went to the famous bookstore. It’s beautiful, but packed. One of those places where you can appreciate it, but also feel the crowd kind of ruins it.

I bought the book “The Little Prince”. One of my fave books I read (in French) when I was younger and then I read it to my kids too (we always used to read books at night even when they were older and this was one of my favorite ones to share).

We returned to Taberna Dos Fernandes for lunch because there were so many things I still wanted to try: the shrimp pasta, the octopus and then a lime tart that was to die for. We did not regret our decision. Such a wonderful family run restaurant.

We wandered the rest of the day. We bought some souvenirs (which will be Christmas gifts!) for our kids. We walked across the bridge. Checked out the Half Rabbit sculpture. Rode the gondola. Took in the incredible views. Every direction. So manu photos of what I’m sure will look exactly the same to anyone who sees them!

While we were walking across the bridge, we started talking about how this qualifies as one of our “thin moments”.

A moment of perfection.

Where everything just feels really clear. Almost like a moment where heaven and earth meet (which is the actual definition of a thin place – a term from Celtic tradition).

Where you’re in it. Fully present. In awe and taking it in.

That walk across the bridge felt like one of those.

We finished off our evening by having the famous francesinha – a specialty of Porto. A sandwich with layers of meat and this yummy sauce. It did not disappoint!

The next day we started making our way back down towards Lisbon and stopped for the night in Figueira da Foz.

It’s a beach town, but it was also Easter Sunday (I’m so grateful for this beautiful season and the reason for it! He is risen!)

Looking for a lunch spot proved to be a challenge. Some places were closed. Some were packed. We found a spot for lunch that took forever and wasn’t great.

It almost felt comical how long it took. Rob said the best part of his meal was the coke zero. And this meal was a contender for the worst meal position.

We found a great cookie place though and that always makes up for things.

We headed down to the very wide and natural beach for a long walk. Giant waves, freezing water. One of our kids called and we Facetimed from there – catching up from the past few weeks while we enjoyed the amazing sunset.

After a mediocre dinner at the hotel (Rob also commented how his drink was the highlight!), we ended the night watching a show and I finally got my bath!!! It was heavenly! Exactly what I needed.

What I’m Noticing

OK so back to the question I shared at the beginning, before my travel diary section…

Are we enjoying this enough?

Am I appreciating it enough?

Am I maximizing it?

And the more I think about that, the more I can feel how it actually takes me out of the moment.

Because now I’m measuring it.

And when I’m measuring it, I’m not in it.

So yes, I am enjoying it. We are enjoying it. My 90 year old self is very much appreciative of these memories we are creating.

We are laughing a lot and reflecting a lot too.

And I will admit, there’s also been this underlying layer of uncertainty.

Rob figuring out work. Not knowing how long this phase will last.

And I can feel how my nervous system wants that resolved.

Wants clarity. Wants answers.

Definitely more than his nervous system does. He is working on some stuff (creating a cool car spotting app), and enjoying this time while waiting for the right opportunity.

This past year he has fully realized his health, his overall satisfaction, his values and his desire for challenge, meaning, growth and interest are what are most important to him.

So, I have been playing around with some reframes…

That when things move forward, it might actually be inconvenient.

That getting back into work life back home means stopping this impromptu travel.

And this is precious, precious time that we are MEANT to have.

And that shift has been helpful.

It softens the urgency a bit.

So here we are.

Enjoying this moment. Anticipating what will come next. Trusting that life is unfolding exactly as it always was meant to.

I must end now… more food is calling me.

Until next week….

xoxo