I do like to try to “walk the talk” as much as “talk the talk”, so with my quote of the week being “Begin with the end in mind”, I thought I’d share with you a little of it in action.
Rob and I often talk about the kind of family culture we want to create. Being a blended family, we decided very early on that we wanted to create our own identity and not necessarily go with what is often advocated out there: “I’ll take care of mine, you deal with yours” approach. I’ve talked about this before, you may recall.
While we recognized that our kids would have some pretty unique living situations, and will always have another family that is of utmost importance and that they love dearly, we wanted to make sure our family was one where “biology” would take a backseat to respect, love, adoration, caring, and fun.
We saw very early on that the creation of family traditions helps create a family identity and culture, and helps fill your home with love, security and a whole lot of fun. Just the ingredients we were looking for.
So, we have created many CDF traditions (including making this our name:) including special holidays, meals, vacations etc. We decided that many of these traditions we hope to carry to our grave. This means that we need to be consistent with them and make them a top priority.
In envisioning our future, and our future as a family, both Rob and I envisioned having some “boy time” and some “girl time” as our kids get older. Things like Rob spending the weekend with the boys at the Monaco Grand Prix, or me soaking in a hot tub at a luxurious spa in Antigua with Zandra. Those kind of weekends.
Ok. Maybe not so exotic. (Although we can dream, can’t we?)
Perhaps it could be Rob going fishing with the boys (less likely), or going to a weekend Autoshow or ball game (more likely), or me going for an overnight with Zandra and talking into the wee hours of the night in our PJ’s.
Well, “Begin with the end in mind” means we better get that started now – so a tradition can be in the making.
Coincidentally, one of my besties and I had a conversation about her desire to have a girl’s weekend with her daughter too. Her daughter is only a few months younger than Zandra. Wouldn’t it be fun to do something together, since it might be more fun for the girls? And wouldn’t it be fun to do this every year and eventually expand our group to include our future daughter-in-laws? Wouldn’t it be cool if one day our grandaughters could join this group at the age of 12 – the same age our daughters are now??
Yes. It would be cool. It’s what our “end” looks like: our daughters and stepdaughters, our daughter-in-laws, and our granddaughters, all heading off to spend an amazing girl’s weekend together on a yearly basis.
We better work backwards and make that happen.
So we did. And it happened. And I can’t wait to share the end result….
Stay tuned:)
So happy you did do this and now definitely can’t wait to hear all about it. I seriously hope to get to do special things just like this with my girls someday, so I will be taking so good notes now, when you do share 🙂
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You will have so much fun with your girls in the future – as you totally do now!!
Cannot wait to read the result! I think this is HUGE to be starting these traditions now. When my mother was still alive, we used to get a hotel room every year to watch The Oscars. I cannot wait until my girls are a little older, and we can start the same tradition. Those are the memories that last a lifetime. :)-Ashley
What an awesome tradition!! I love it! Lucky girls!!
I am all for establishing tradition! You all have so many already! I’m tuned in as usual!
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We do have so many traditions – but they are easy to do, fun and bring us all together. My kids thrive on them!
Ooooh, I can’t wait! I love establishing traditions now that I have my own family. It is so special and of course, I do think about the “end game” of my children and children’s children doing very special things for decades to come.
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I love talking about it too! I have big plans for my grandchildren:)
Sounds wonderful, Leah! It really is those traditions that we remember. One thing I remember doing so clearly with my younger sisters and my Mom was decorating gingerbread houses at Christmas. My mom baked everything from scratch back then, no prefab box sets for us. Now it’s a tradition we continue with our kids. Can’t wait to hear how your sleepover went!
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I love hearing about traditions that are passed on from one generation to another! So special! Baked from scratch!!! Please post pictures of yours this year!!
So cool!! I don’t have a daughter but I so want to come on your girls weekend! Can’t wait to read all about it.
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Thanks, Allie!
This such a great idea, and I can’t wait for you to share the rest of the story!
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OH I can’t wait to hear all about it Leah!!
It’s so easy to talk about starting traditions and what those would ‘look like’ and then never really make them a reality. Make them happen. Walk the talk as you say. 🙂
GOOD FOR YOU!
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Sometimes you just need to do it! So glad I did!
I am the Bestie!!! Even I am curious to read more!!
We should be soooooo proud of this tradition Leah-it is such a good one. And you readers out there….this girl KNOWS how to do traditions I tell you. she organized it all and it was nothing short of phenomenal. I will let Leah describe all the details:)
I am so happy that we committed to this new tradition for ourselves and our daughters. It will be something to look forward to for many years to come. Can we do the spa in Antigua thing one day? Can you plan that??? lol!
Lauren Kate
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That spa sounds great!!!! MAybe for our 50th year anniversary!!
So cool that you not only talked about it but you put the whole thing into action – can’t wait to read all about it.
I told Chris something I want to start yesterday – now it is time for me to put it into action and not just let it fall by the way – you have inspired me!
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That’s great! Get moving on it Kim! I know you will be successful!
I’ve really dropped the ball on traditions – and they are so important to kids. And to adults! There is stability in them. Something reliable. I can’t wait to hear how your girl’s weekend goes!
They are so important for everyone – sometimes they are a lot of work and we end up dropping them – but if we miss them, we can always pick them back up. Or sometimes we just need to make new ones that work for us now!
this is the perfect post in preparation for our baby. i need to talk to my husband about the traditions that we want to have as a family with our child. we talk about going to church every week and my husband already makes dinner every night, but i want to do so much more to build the fabric of our family. thank you for getting me thinking!
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I think sometimes people think if you deliberately “plan” traditions, that they are less authentic. I think some naturally happen – and they are great! But some need to be planned and those can be great too! Don’t be discouraged though because at the beginning, with young babies, you start to feel that traditions are pointless – as the kids don’t always participate, or remember, or have the attention span, (or going to church is boring) – but then all of a sudden, they turn and they tell you something that makes you realize they were paying attention, they did notice, and that they are loving the tradition! But it can take a while before it becomes a tradition – so hang in there! It also helps when you label it as a tradition for them and build it up:)
I do recall… I think we’ve had that chat! 🙂
I love this idea and will definitely discuss it with LB. My children, who are they own unique family, have a Christmas tradition they insist on no matter whose house they are at. It was inadvertent on their part, as they were too young to understand the significance, but I’ve blogged about it!
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Christmas is a hard transition when you are getting together. I love that your kids created their own tradition! We started many new traditions around the holidays – so a combination of the old and the new is the way to go, I think!
We have all of the children for the first time this year. With both of our exes living far away, it makes it somewhat easier because we don’t have to split the holiday itself… either we have all the children for the whole holiday (in this case the whole week) or we don’t, but we are in that awkward position of how to handle Santa when it’s been done differently in each household and we both have children who still believe. We’ll figure it out! 🙂
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I am so excited to hear about what you started!
As for us, we trade off months with the kids – one month he takes each one of them individually to do something THEY want to do, the next I do the same – which gives us each time alone with each child, learning about their interests and having fun with them. We still do family events – but it is nice to have a day with each of the children that is just “their” day!
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Those one on one dates are SO important!!