I found this in my drafts. I guess I forgot to post it when I wrote it last year !
Sometimes one of my kids says something and I think to myself: this is such proof that as parents we do matter, and it’s so important how we raise our kids, but there is also a deep wisdom, profoundness, and soul that is so deeply theirs that has nothing to do with me. And boy, can I learn a lot from this kid of mine. He was sent to be my teacher, and this is one of his profound lessons.
Josh has been playing for a new soccer team this year. It has been a different experience due to new players, new coaches and new team culture. One thing that has frustrated him a bit is the attention that is given to the opposing team. The time and energy spent on discussing if the other team is good, where they stand, how they play.
The comparison. It drives him crazy.
In discussing it, he said me: “We should never be worried or thinking about the other team (who they are or what they have accomplished or if we think they are good etc). We should always be focused on ourselves and how we can play our best game. If we focus on that, and play our absolute best, then it never matters who we are playing because we can beat anyone”.
Can we say that this just doesn’t only apply to soccer, but in absolutely every aspect of life?
Comparison IS the thief of joy. It can also rob us of confidence, and the desire to try. It can lead us to frustration, misery, sadness, depression, anger, victimhood etc.
***Although I do think that occasionally it’s good to poke out to check out the competition, especially for some people, as it can be motivating to see what others are doing and then you can say “If they can do it, so can I!” We don’t want to get into a place where we think everything is impossible and that becomes our reason to settle for mediocrity. I think it’s important to see comparison is the thief sometimes, but other times it will be your motivator. The KEY is what pushes you to do your absolute best. You need to learn for yourself how to best use comparison.***
As I start different work ventures, I look around me and it’s intimidating! Look at the experience people have! The followers, the network, the creativity, the process, the money…. It very quickly becomes a thief of my joy.
But then I think of that wise 15 year old son of mine, and I know that I need to focus on myself, on doing my best. When I do that, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. I gain some motivation from a quick reminder that if they could succeed, so can I, and get my head back in MY game.
PS – Don’t you love how much he loves taking selfies with me…. lol.
(I know. Crazy Mom.
And proud of it.)
