When Josh took a gap year last year I was kind of happy bcs even though he would be gone working and travelling, it delayed the university drop off which seems so much more permanent.

This is it – the point of no return. There is no turning back the clocks.

We planned to drop him off at Carleton University in Ottawa Labour day weekend right before school started. Unfortunately, Rob found out that he had to be in Milan, Italy for work on that Monday. We tried to get creative, but it ended up that he would have to miss drop off and catch a flight to Milan on the Saturday,

Which meant I would be doing drop off solo.

Luckily, Josh is going to the same school as two of his best friends, so I knew that their parents would be coming as well. It was great that the boys ended up getting suite style residence too – so the “high council of mothers” as the boys call us got to work purchasing things they could share (primarily kitchen and bathroom). There ended up being a lot of stuff piled in my front room for a bit as Amazing boxes kept getting dropped off.

We went out for one last dinner in Toronto – got to try an Indian place that we both had been talking about trying – and it is not disappoint!

Then in the morning we headed out:

Oops forgot to give Reg a big hug… so Rob went in and brought him out…

We headed to Ottawa and went straight to my aunt and uncles (who live 5 minutes from Carleton) and they had a really nice lunch for us with my aunt and cousin as well.

We then headed to Carleton – they had a car check in (I got video of it but this is the only snap I got of Josh – he was trying to search where we were supposed to go after to meet his buddies. It was cute, as you drove in, they had all these students cheering to welcome you to Carleton!

We made it to his residence – he has a “suite style” which means that they have a small kitchen and can make some food. He is with 4 guys – two of his best buddies from high school and one other guy they just met. His actual room mate is one of his friends (Ethan). Ethan’s parents were there as well as Ben’s (his other buddy). All the parents got to work to help the boys all set up their rooms and the kitchen.

Josh has the window side. I didn’t get a picture of the closet but it’s a decent size and we got a set of drawers to go at the bottom and there is a set under the bed – there is actually a decent amount of space.

After setting everything up, we headed out for dinner.

Sadly, no pictures of the actual dinner. But we had a nice meal with all the boys including his new roommate. We totally got soaked on the way home – it was a wicked thunder and lightning storm! I then headed back to hang out with my aunt and uncle while the boys had their first night !

The next day I went shopping with Ethan’ s parents and Josh and Ethan. We stocked them up with everything you can imagine! They are set for at least this semester if not next:) We grabbed a quick burger and then took them back to their res where we unpacked groceries and then it was time for good bye!

Then just the guys from high school:

And that was it. I dropped my baby off at University.

I thought it would be easy since he had taken a gap year and was away for a good chunk of it. But there is something more final about dropping a kid off at school.

And it certainly didn’t help to have to drive home in an empty truck and then arrive back to an empty house. My heart hurt and I had a good little cry (in Josh’s bed – shhhh).

I am excited for Josh and his future and know he will do great things, have fun, build memories, go on adventures – just like all my other kids are doing. And I am excited for all the things that Rob and I have planned for our future too! But… my heart still aches for those days when it was just our little world. When I would lie in bed and sing the boys to sleep (and Josh would hold me in a vice grip to make sure I did not sneak out of his bed when he drifted off). Or when we would practice the Invictus poem (which happy to say he still remembers – as I checked to make sure as we drove to Ottawa, lol).

When they all piled in my bed to read at night; when I would pick lucky winner for Zach; when Sam would pray the house wouldn’t catch on fire; when Gabe and Zach would yell down for our ETA and play mini sticks and be giggling and running around trying to scare Zandra… and of course the thirty two thousand times Zandra would get up to say goodnight and go pee…

So many memories that were created in what seems like a fleeting moment.

Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight, Make (me) them a child again just for tonight…

Now I’m off to go have a little cry again…

This letting go stuff is pretty hard, right Mamas?