soccer(new squishy ball).laserquest.new macs.hot chocolate maker.tv.bathtime.new apps.tintin movie.skating.date night.nye.
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Last January I started a little tradition of taking a snapshot of our daily life….the blog and pictures cover some of the big year highlights like birthdays, holidays and vacations, but this is to capture our everyday moments – you know, the real life stuff:
Gilmore Girls is one of our favorite shows to watch right now as a family. The kids all loved stealing their idea of the “tons of treats” for movie nights.
Sleepovers in the basement are still a regular occurence and the kids love them.
Continue to enjoy watching Brady Bunch (we have all seasons), Happy Days, Gilligan’s Island and Magnum PI (that’s what happens when you take a long road trip – you watch a lot of shows!)
Swimming lessons continues, and everyone took soccer. Josh and Zach continued taking it in the fall too.
Tennis for everyone; often go play at some local public courts.
Started a traditional “Kick off the summer picnic” with a secret menu.
Lots of boating; kids even jumped into the lake with our summer guests Roland and Chandra.
Started leaving the kids home alone with Gabe as a sitter.
Still trying to do pegs (no one changes them though) – but everyone seems to get everything done anyways.
Blackboard of menus in our kitchen… Kids like changing some of the names of meals: Mexican chili is forever Mexican Sam!
Everyone still needs reminding for zones; but everyone helps out with other chores too.
We are nanny less since April. Rob does most of the pickup – we both drop off.
Since September, the kids are able to come here before and after school now on their Mom’s days.
Finished “I am David”, “Three Cups of Tea” and now working on “Diary of Anne Frank”. Hard to read consistently. Only read these books when all kids are here.
Did traditional Valentine steak and poutine dinner. Kids loved their albums. Also loved the heart sticky notes all over the kitchen with the things we love most about them written on the notes.
Zandra and I do hair and use a lot more hair spray.
Boys played lots of street hockey with Rob.
Early morming bike rides or runs.
Electronic free Sunday is a success! Except for watching some really good inspirational movies together (and have found some great ones!)
Boys love playing mini sticks upstairs. The chips in paint on the stair banister not so much but I need to rElAx!!
Still do Lucky winner with Zach. Everyone has their own little bed routine! Barbaloots are still around, reading journals, and big kids negotiated a later bedtime. “Go to sleep you weary hobo” is a new fave.
Made a book out of my “Adventures of the CDF’s” blog for our family.
Sunday surprise dinners are still a hit. Have had some gourmet ones (including dessert).
Lots of baking in the winter: buns, butterhorns and cupcakes were favorites.
Christmas baking and plates for friends and neighbors… Yum
Date lunches and dinners with kids. Detroit Eatery sure likes us!
Date nights for Rob and I. Sushi, Relish, Messini, Aji Sai, Family Thai, Burgers Priest, Giorgio’s, and hot dogs behind Canadia Tire are some faves!
Troy Dunn or John Bytheway on the way to church still.
Scriptures in the morning before school.
Quote of the week working out great! Kids have quoted them back several times!
Month of December have all the quotes up in the kitchen!
Value of the Month introduced successfully.
Family night continues with same routine: Zone 5 conducts: Business or lesson. Give said the little stream is a standard.
CDF motto reinforced.
Skiing: Horseshoe or Hidden Valley (Family Day Long weekend). Loved the night skiing and the terrain park!
Taste of the Danforth for gyros. Older 3 kids doing lunch on the Danforth on their own!
Soccer ruining the grass in the front and backyard.
Mike the artist lessons occasionally on Sunday.
Soccer games always on TV.
Video games…. for ALL the boys.
Carrot died in February. He is sadly missed.
Josh baptized in April.
Kids in lots of school activities (intramural, art club, drama club, choir, rugby, violin).
Musical instruments introduced: violin and guitar.
Scandinave for us to relax! Valentine’s at the Le Germaine and found a great new Chinese place!
New computers: Mac all around!
New camera = lots of video!
Slowly getting everyone new bedding and getting the rooms all decorated.
Kids watching i-Carly, Everybody Loves Chris, Good luck Charlie, Phineas and Ferb. They really want the Simpsons, but we don’t permit it over here…
Tennis camp, Skateboard camp, Soccer camp.
Horsey Brown.
Dominican Republic, Outerbanks, cottage.
Italy. Rob 40. Spa day when we got home!
Writing writing writing…a couple of articles on Power of Moms.
Robbie got a new car.
Dancing in the living room or at Club Zach ( Aunti Jenn taught them some moves to break their necks!)
Candy posters.
The Amazing race = amazing proposal = amazing ring = amazing husband
That’s a lot of little things that make up our everyday life!!
Nothing like a New Years Eve eve date. Yummy sushi night with my husband. Then home to a beautiful fire. Life is good.
I am always quite ambitious with what I want to read.
I love to read, but somehow never get as much reading squeezed in as I’d like. Usually I can find the time on vacation, or right before bed; but that lasts about 3 minutes before my eyes get heavy and I’m a goner. So 3 minutes for 365 days, minus 3 weeks vacation where I get to read more…equates to not a whole heck of a lot of reading time.
So I was impressed with myself when I pulled out all the books I’ve read this year (minus a few that I have loaned out to others). May not be an impressive number of books for some, but to me I was pleasantly surprised!
My top ten from this year that I enjoyed:
1. Secret Daughter – Shilpi Somaya Gowda
Loved this book. It made me cry and I love to cry in movies and when reading books. It’s the beautiful story about two mothers who face the pain and trials of motherhood, while dealing with loyalty and belonging in a family.
2. I Shall Not Hate – Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish
Powerful book. It had so many inspiring stories in it. I talked about one here. The backcover sums it up nicely:
“I know that I have lost, what was taken from me, will never come back. But as a physician and a Muslim of deep faith, I need to move forward to the light, motivated by the spirits of those I lost. I need to bring them justice…I will keep moving but I need you to join me in this long journey”.
3. Hold on to Your Kids – Drs. Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld
This, is a great read. I saw Dr. Mate at a conference in November and he was even more inspirational live. A must read for anyone who has children growing up and wants to stay close to their kids. I talked about it here and here.
4. The Happiness Project – Gretchen Rubin
I read this book one month at a time – I felt like I could soak it in better. Very inspirational book. Made me think about my own happiness and what I need to do to be happy. Helped me pull together some of my own “happiness goals”. I talked about the book here.
5. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother – Amy Chua
Loved this book. Hated this book. Loved this book. I determined I am a cub mother as I talked about here.
6. The Entitlement Trap – Linda and Richard Eyre
Another excellent book by the Eyre’s. I knew it would be as I love everything the Eyre’s write. I talked about the book here (before it came out) and I will write something more on it later as there were so many practical tips for helping you raise kids without the sense of “entitlement” that we see everywhere.
7. The Wealthy Barber Returns – David Chilton
I love learning about money. The Wealthy Barber was the book that started me off in my 20’s, so of course, I had to read his new book. Lots of good, practical stuff in this book! I talked a bit about it here.
8. Scattered Minds – Dr. Gabor Mate
This book was an eye opener about ADHD – which is helpful for me both personally and professionally. I walked away from reading this book with feelings of such love and compassion. We are such fragile human beings who deserve unconditional love, acceptance, and security. We deserve it, and we must also give it. Again, I talked about it here.
9. The Idiot Millionaire – Derek Foster
This is my geeky side. I love Derek Foster and his easy to understand step by step “stop working now” guides. I admit, I read the book, and implemented some of his strategies. We now have some DRIPS (suggestion taken from another Derek Foster book “The Lazy Investor” that I read several years ago) in companies (as suggeted by the Idiot Millionaire) that we contribute to (I call it the “lucky winner draw”; whoever sends me a statement that month first, gets a bit more money invested into that month). Yup. It’s a real science.
10. Connected Parenting – Jennifer Kolari
Another all time favorite must read parenting book; good from the young years right through older kids. It struck a chord with me and helped me understand some step parenting stuff too as I talked about here. A great read all around ending with the three most important questions you need to always be asking as parents (as I discussed here).
Some mention should go to “Everyone is Beautiful” by Katherine Center and “Wanderlust” by Elisabeth Eaves. I talked about these books here.
Those were some of top faves.
This year (like every year) my goal is to read more.However, this year, I have made a promise to myself to read all the books I have lying around my house that I want to read before I buy any others.
Not sure how that is going to work. The pile already looks like this:
Instead of a school Christmas concert this year, the school decided to have “Nuit Blanche”; they had poetry readings, music, plays and art. Here’s a sample of what Zandra, Zach and Josh did with their classes:
We started doing “Quote of the Week” this year and it has been a great success!
Every week Rob or I come up with a meaningful quote. Sometimes the kids find one (or make one:) too. I write it on a card, then on the back, write the kids a little note about the quote. Usually it’s my interpretation of what the quote means, or some feelings about the topic, some advice, or just some thoughts in general.
The quote gets read at Family Night, and then discussed. We then put it up on the bulletin board in the kitchen. It stays on there for two weeks (we always have two quotes up there).
In December we decided to put up all the quotes from the year in the kitchen:
We decided to each choose our favorite quote and identified it by putting our initials on the corner.
Rob’s was this.
Mine was this and “Find explanations in charity” and “Come what may and love it”.
Gabe’s was this.
Zandra’s was this.
Zach’s was this and “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire”.
Josh and Sam both chose this.
(We started quote of the week before I started blogging about them so I don’t have links for each one).
What I love most about the quotes is how they get us to talk about things that we might never ordinarily talk about. We talk about beliefs, theories, values, character traits, trials, and life in general. I have heard the kids use the quotes at other times too, quoting them in stories, or relating experiences to them. It has really been a source of inspiration to everyone on a daily basis.
Looking forward to a whole year of new quotes!
There is a popular theory that states something like “You are who you hang out with” or “The people you associate with will define you whether you like it or not”.
We have talked about this a lot with the kids, whenever we discuss how they choose their friends and decide who they hang out with. While we can’t dictacte who our children are friends with, we can help them see what friends help them be “their very best”. They can ask themselves questions such as “Does this person influence me to do things that I am comfortable doing? Does this person encourage me? Do I walk away from interactions with this person feeling good and positive? Do I feel like I can “be me” with this person”? We have encouraged them to “surround yourself with greatness” since great is what you are (and aiming to be better)!
We also know that sometimes the answer is “No” but they still want to hang out with that person. Maybe the person is popular, or fun, or seems really cool. Maybe they don’t know why they are attracted to the person – they just are.
It’s no different for adults really. Sometimes we engage in relationships that are not really the most healthy. We may feel obligated to sustain a long term relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve better, or we owe someone, or we don’t want to look bad by cutting ties.
I have felt it a few times with people over the years. Sometimes, I knew someone “pre-divorce” and feel obligated, like I want to prove that the divorce “didn’t ruin me”. Or sometimes I met them during my divorce and they were a source of support, so feel like I want to pay them back. Or sometimes, we have children the same age, or are the same profession, or live on the same street, or are even related!
But if they don’t make me feel good? Or push me to be the best me? Should I sustain a relationship out of obligation?
Something really bothered me the other day, that really got me thinking about who I am surrounding myself with.
Blending a family is HARD. Probably no harder than other things people struggle with, but since this is my struggle, I will say it is really HARD for a family.
One of the reasons it is so hard is because of how “other people act”.
Now I know other people should not make a difference – but they do.
I can go in some situations and feel like my family is completely accepted. We have friends and family who have watched us over the past few years blend and have blended with us. There is no favortism towards certain kids, no separating the “two families”, no ignoring one group vs the other. There is a seemless love and appreciation for everyone. There is an acknowledgment that we are “one family” with enough love to go around – without having to make a big deal of who is yours biologically or not.
So what bothered me the other day was being in a situation where we were viewed and treated as two separate families. There was “Rob’s family” and there was “My family”.
And you know what? I hated it. I was annoyed. It felt wrong. It felt like “my family” were strangers or the outsiders. It felt like we had gone back in time when we were two families – that all the hard work we had put in to make us feel as one was in vain. We know that we are not the traditional nuclear family – and we are not trying to be. We are our own unique family, but we are one. I don’t really want to surround myself with people who are limited in their thinking and interacting with us. Unfortunately, you can’t make people see things differently, and you can’t change their perspectives. But I guess you don’t have to accept it and sit back and take it either.
It certainly got me thinking that maybe I need to take the advice I give my kids about choosing friends. Maybe I need to “surround myself with greatness”. Maybe I need to really make sure that the people I surround myself with are the ones that fully embrace me and my family, the ones that uplift me and support me and help me be the best I can be.
As I come to the new year and think about the things I want to focus on: “Surround myself with greatness” is one that will be at the top of my list.
Well the holiday festivities are done!
Just a little recap:
We had a great Christmas eve. Zach and Zandra read their Christmas alphabet that they wrote last year. We read “Teach the Children”.
Then we re-enacted the Nativity. It was great. The kids had a fun time doing it:
Everyone was then sent upstairs to get their PJ’s on and to wait for the bell. They came zooming down and we opened the gift from family.
Afterwards, we feasted on our Christmas Eve buffet.
With cookies and milk left for Santa, everyone retired.
Christmas morning was greeted at 7am. Stockings opened, Santa gifts revealed, then another big feast for Christmas breakfast, including cinnamon buns, wifesaver and toast, cheese and sugar. Of course chocolate milk too! The rest of the day was low key. Zach and Josh left for their Dad’s mid morning and the rest of us hung out and played with new stuff.
Here’s a glimpse of Christmas Eve and Night
Christmas 2011
Another year and we’re at the Holiday cheer!
From fun in the sun in the Dominican
To cool in the pool in Montreal, to cottage riding and Josh baptized in front of us all
We’ve travelled and ravelled and increasingly became one
From homework routines to Mexican Sam; Gilmore Girls and little trams (SF)
We travelled to Italy as I turned Forty, giants lemons and much amore
To the South to visit the North (Carolina), Swam with the sharks back and forth
Drove on a beach, saw quite the horse! Fresh crabs at the bay the only way!
Fall came again and school to our little friends, playground fun…some Principal runs
Great the achievements from the field to the track…never look back!
Strings in our house, the guitar and violin, such brave parents we are it’s almost a sin
We are all growing new and fresh for the year, happy and healthy and full of good cheer
So with that I say our evening is coming to a close, Santa on his way with his big red nose
Off to the sunset we ride again, horsey brown underneath us, our animatronic friend!
Merry Christmas!
Although I love Christmas, Christmas Eve is a little bit of a bittersweet time too.
It makes me think of all the people in my life who I miss; who have left the journey here on earth.
Obviously, my Dad comes to mind. It is 8.5 years since he’s been gone. I remember so clearly all those Christmas Eve’s with him. His role in our traditional Christmas Eve Program was to talk about the joys, blessings and trials of the past year, and to speak encouraging words for the year to come. Rob has assumed this role now, and I think my Dad would greatly approve.
I think of Rob’s brother David, whom I never met, but have heard much about. He died 18 years ago, and Rob often wonders, with much sadness, what he would have been like all “grown up”. Would he have been married? Would he have had children? What would he be doing? Where would he be living? All these questions left unanswered when his life was cut way too short.
My beloved grandparents. My earliest Christmas memories are with them, and my Christmas traditions are all adaptations of their Christmas Eve traditions. When we ring the bell for the kids to come running to the tree for their presents, I can still feel the excitement I had as a child when I heard their little bell ring. I’m glad that my grandparents kept their traditions and passed them along so I can still feel a connection to them and my heritage.
Finally, I think of Elaine. Ten years, exactly today, since that fateful morning when we got the call that “Auntie Elaine” had suddenly passed away; a life cut way too short. I remember so many things about that day so vividly. It was Zach’s first Christmas, and we celebrated with him with heavy hearts and red brimmed eyes. I remember being with a very young Jennifer through those days, most especially following the burial, at Starbucks, listening to Winter Lights with her head in my lap. Elaine was such an amazing woman – and mother – and certainly I think of her often as she is one of my “hero mother role models”. She would be proud to see that Jennifer, all grown now, possesses the same mothering qualities. I am lucky enough to still have Jenn as my little sister, and to have walked along another difficult path with her this year when she lost her Dad, Chris. My heart breaks for Jenn at this time of year especially, but it is also full of pride when I see the beautiful, amazing woman she is becoming. I’m very sure both her parents are smiling down on her from above.
I feel fortunate to have known these people – or in David’s case, to have known him by proxy. Having been touched by the grief of losing some very close family members makes me especially grateful for the people in my life now. Life is short. Life is unpredictable. We never know what is in store for us.
I want to celebrate the present – which is the greatest present that I have been given this Christmas. To be truly surrounded by the most spectacular people. I know everyone thinks their family is the best, but I feel that with every part of my being and soul.
I am so in love with my best friend and partner, and I am smitten with “our” children – the precious spirits entrusted to us. I will miss the presence of my Mom and sister this year at Christmas, and my brother and family (but miss them every year!). I truly miss my family that has sailed to a distant horizon, but know that they are not really very far away.
This week’s quote of the week will be:
“Count your blessings, and make your blessings count”.
Pretty appropriate for the feeling of gratitude and love I feel on this Christmas Eve.