Raising Flowers and Skids

We landed in Lisbon on a Wednesday. The taxi dropped us at our Airbnb in the old part of the city, right in the heart of it all, which is exactly what I wanted.

Four steep flights of stairs in near-total darkness later, Rob hauling the big bags while I carried the small ones, we opened the door to our home for the next month.

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It’s small. A living room that doubles as a dining room, a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen.

It overlooks one of the main streets and it is, without question, adorable.

And then the heaviness of the jet lag set in and I wanted to nap.

Now, normally when we travel, the first day counts big time. The clock starts the moment we land and I want to go, run, see, eat, do. Because I feel like we are on borrowed time and every hour counts!

I usually have things planned for “Day 1” and arriving early like we did from our flight to Lisbon (we arrived at 7am) meant we would have a FULL first day!

But this time, for the first time, I didn’t have to do that.

We’re here for a month.

I have never been in one place for a month. I’ve been away for a month, years ago mind you, backpacking in my twenties, bouncing between cities and trains.

As a family, the longest we were ever away was three and a half weeks when we went downunder (and I think we took seven flights during that trip – with 5 children. Yay us!!)

And then Rob and I did a 3 week trip a few years ago and that felt long, but we also changed hotel every 2 nights (except for a heavenly week in the Maldives – but even then we wanted to try the beach villa and the over the water bungalow!) 

So staying still in one place for this long? That’s new.

Instead of hitting the ground running, we went hungry so went and got bifana sandwiches at the famous Bifanas Afonso (which is supposedly one of the best spots in Lisbon). Four euros for a sandwich, which is a total steal (especially in this day and age). We sat in a little park and ate them. And they did not disappoint!

Then we walked back to the apartment, took that luxurious nap, unpacked, went grocery shopping, and called it a day.

And my entire nervous system was screaming: What are you doing? You’re missing something. Let’s go!!!

Of course, we did also go for a lovely dinner at Time Out Market which is an 8 minute walk from us, and it has all the best of the best. We had been there last time in Lisbon, and had been drooling to come back! Cod, shrimp and of course topped off with some dessert (chocolate mousse and pastel de nata are the famous things here that I love). Then, we officially called it a day. 

The Uncomfortable Art of Slowing Down

Here is the problem that I seem to encounter over and over even at home.

When I give myself permission to rest, it actually feels terrible at first….

You see, I’ve spent years, (ok decades!) in constant motion.

Raising five kids (which in itself is a full time job), being an SLP (driving up to 20 hours a week while juggling a 25 client caseload), then running a coaching business, volunteering, making home cooked meals, juggling ex’s, and essentially managing schedules so tightly that every minute had a purpose… was a lot.

My body has been trained to operate in a state of low-grade urgency at all times. (I call it the constant refrigerator buzz that you only realize is on when you lose power.)

So when I suddenly remove the urgency (which I have been deliberately doing over the past few years), my system doesn’t sigh with relief. It panics.

And I had not anticipated the sheer panic it would feel when day 1 on our trip did not cross off half the must sees on our list already!

The second day, I pulled out my trusty walking tour app and we explored the city a bit more on on foot.

We tried another bifana spot, O Trevo (the one Anthony Bourdain loved). It was good, but sorry Anthony, not as good as our first find at Afonso. (Already becoming regulars. Already becoming snobs 😂.)

But the real star of my day two unfortunately wasn’t a restaurant.

It was the stress and tension I just felt like I couldn’t shake between wanting to explore and needing to work.

Because here’s the thing I’m realizing about working remotely from a beautiful city: your body actually thinks you’re on vacation!

Every part of me is saying go out, eat everything in sight, see everything. And yet there are calls to take, Midlife Recalibration Week to prep for (March 23-27,30, 2026 – join here), and just a whole business to run!!

Ironic I know that I teach all about the nervous system, but I truly started feeling genuine anxiety about whether I was cut out for this …this thing I’d always dreamed about doing!

And I totally didn’t expect that and it has thrown me for a bit of a loop.

Tiger Mosquitoes and Other Humbling Realities

A few other things that they don’t mention in the Lisbon travel guides:

There are these mosquitoes here called tiger mosquitoes, and they are diabolical. And I’m not even kidding.

They don’t buzz around like normal mosquitoes, politely announcing their presence.

They hide. They wait. And then they strike in the dark like tiny, itchy assassins!!

( I think they are similar to the ones we had at my Italy retreat too so maybe it’s a Europe thing?)

Anyhow, night one, a little bugger got Rob in the face and me on the shoulder and the ear.

So we have since spent a fair amount of time on a multi-day quest for mosquito zappers, and eventually landed on finding a baby stroller gadget that supposedly emits a high-frequency wave to keep them away. We shall see (Rob has also been becoming an expert about them and finding his own little tricks. I love being married to a guy who I know figures everything out!)

Next up to discuss: the bathroom situation.

For years, I have been complaining about our one main bathroom at home (we have another one too but everyone wants to use the main one). And so we shared it for years with everyone (so seven people – but who’s counting?!?)). My dream has been to have my own ensuite, but as Rob likes to joke now, it is all mine since we are empty nesters.

But still.

Anyhow, at least it had a proper shower and a bathtub.

I didn’t realize until this trip how much my evening bath was part of how I regulate my nervous system. Without it, bedtime feels off. In fact, my whole routine feels off.

It’s humbling to discover, in your fifties, that you’ve become the kind of person who needs a bathtub.

When I think about how I traveled in my early years , not needing all the same amenities, I realize that comfort isn’t just preference. It becomes infrastructure for me. 

The next place we stay, a decent bathroom will need to be non-negotiable.

Seasons Change (Even the Ones That Feel Endless)

On day three it was raining a lot, and I was feeling super grumpy (jet lag + terrorized by mosquitoes + work to catch up on = grumpy). We just hung out and we both had some calls.

Saturday arrived and we decided to venture out to go check out the famous LX Factory. A trendy area, which reminded me of the Distillery district in Toronto.

The bookstore there is so cool, and there is graffiti everywhere which we admired as we wandered around.

We found what looked like a cute patio, and let’s just say my parting words after lunch to Rob were, “Well it’s always good to get the worst meal of the trip out of the way!!”.

You get the point.

But right next door… the absolute best chocolate cake. And since we have our priorities straight, we indulged.

Later that night, we went to a Benfica soccer match. Encouraged by one of my soccer obsessed sons, Rob found us tickets and we made our way there.

The stadium was packed. The energy was electric. People here are wild for soccer and it was fun to be in that moment.

But sitting in that stadium, something hit me.

I was a soccer mom for at least 12 years. Three of our five kids ( the three younger boys) all played competitive soccer, simultaneously. 

Practices were three to four times a week per kid! Games were once or twice per kid too. Tournaments ate entire weekends. Driving hours and hours. Sitting in the rain. Leaving work early or rescheduling clients to make drop-offs. Trying to squeeze in my own exercise and reading during practices. I even went to Spain once with one of my sons when his team played there! (That I won’t complain about though – fantastic memories!)

I remember feeling like that season would never end. Like I was trapped in a loop of smelly soccer shirts, gross shin guards and cleats and sideline folding chairs.

Rob told me once, You’ll miss these days.

I told him, Never.

And there I was in a stadium in Lisbon, realizing he was right.

I actually miss the drives with the boys because that’s when they talked so much, and played me their favourite music.

I miss the conversations with the other parents, the shared chaos, the cheering on the sidelines, the rhythm of it all.

Those years felt endless while I was in them, and now they feel like they happened to someone else.

That’s the thing about seasons. They feel permanent from the inside. But the truth is they are fleeting.

Memory Dividends

So this trip, this two month adventure we are on, I am now really thinking of it as investment. Not in the financial sense (because with Rob in between opportunties, this certainly isnt the ideal time for us) but in the way that experiences compound over time. In the memory dividends way : the returns you get years from now when you look back on a stretch of time where you were fully present (a concept I read about in the book Die With Zero by Bill Perkins).

That’s why we’re doing this now. Not because the timing is perfect, but we have the health, the flexibility, and the willingness to be a little uncomfortable. And I don’t think that window stays open forever.

And I already know that years from now, I’ll think about that first bifana in the park, those dark stairwells, that ridiculous mosquito hunt and I’ll feel what I feel right now about those soccer years. Fondness. Gratitude. The particular sweetness of something you didn’t fully appreciate while it was happening.

So I’m trying,  really trying, to appreciate it now.

What the Jet Lag Taught Me

Last night, I was feeling like I was finally starting to come out of the jet lag fog.

And with the fog lifting, so did the anxiety. Which taught me something I probably already knew but needed to feel again: sleep is foundational for me.

In a very basic, biological, your-nervous-system-literally-cannot-function-without-it way.

When I’m tired, everything feels harder. Decisions feel heavier. Transitions feel impossible. The gap between where I am and where I think I should be feels enormous.

And then I sleep (really sleep) and the gap closes to almost nothing.

It’s the simplest lesson and the one I keep having to relearn.

Lessons From Week One

So that’s where we are. Four days in. Not a full week, really, but I’m calling our week one done.

The jet lag is lifting. The apartment is home. The bifana ranking is well underway. The mosquitoes remain a challenge we will conquer (Rob will figure it out).

I came here thinking the challenge would be logistics: navigating a new city, figuring out where to eat, managing work across time zones.

But the real challenge has been internal.

Learning to slow down without interpreting stillness as failure. Learning that discomfort doesn’t mean something is wrong, sometimes it just means something is new.

More next week. If the tiger mosquitoes haven’t eaten us alive!

It started with a kiss—how did it end up like this?

A Christmas gathering, love everywhere, joy and a little flare.

So much laughter, a year’s memories to share,

Now settle in close—we’ve got stories to spare.

The year began with adventure already in bloom,

And somehow I’ve dared to put it all into rhyme and tune.

So sit back steady, don’t worry or fret—

Yes, this poem is proudly Gen AI–ready (you bet).

We started the year huddled in a courtroom row,

Gabe’s law career officially ready to go.

A cold, crisp Brooklyn winter’s day,

A meaningful trip for oaths to say.

We wrapped it up simply—perfectly breezy—

With a memorable lunch at Torizzi.

Then off to the continent, overseas we flew,

Copenhagen and Vienna were calling us too.

Jamie and Judy with Scandic hospitality glow,

Hotdogs, churches, castles—all part of the show.

Then Vienna awaited, where passions were sent—

Pagliacci thundered, sang, cried, and vented intent.

A nudge, an excuse-me, a moment too fast—

It was over before we quite knew what had passed.

Poor Nedda—no escape, no plea—

Opera teaches tragedy efficiently.

While abroad and rolling along on a high,

Leah debuted her journal to a woodland troll nearby.

Then back to TO for a moment, not long,

As Disney and West Coast plans came on strong.

Beach days and rides that soared through the sky,

Star Wars, Space Mountain—oh my, oh my.

Then scattered again to our corners and places,

Graduation season—we were off to the races.

Interviews, curricula, ceremonies in reach,

Doctors in training, Nurse to mend, and teachers to teach.

But first, to the Outer Banks—our beloved retreat,

A place we adore, salty air, sandy feet.

The Vice played softly, a bit edgy and true,

Our final trip there with sweet Reggie too.

Then onward again, degrees nearly complete—

Utah called next, neuroscience and nursing to meet.

Mountains and blue skies, inspections and gear,

Packing and prepping as moves drew near.

Two graduates off to Asia—woohoo!

What a year already… and we weren’t quite through.

Then home for a pause, hearts heavy and sore,

Our dear little Reggie slept forevermore.

A quiet goodbye, love deep and sincere,

There wasn’t a dry eye anywhere near.

Soon after, San Francisco welcomed us warmly,

Berkeley in sunshine—gracious and charmingly.

Redwoods, long hikes, and ice cream divine,

A teacher now ready to help students shine.

Summer rolled on with trips small and grand,

Port Stanley breezes, toes in the sand.

But news weighed heavy—a biopsy sent,

Waiting together with cautious intent.

July brought reunion, laughter, and cheer,

The Busing Bash—what a wonderful year!

Then back to TO for a issue caught in time,

Grateful we noticed the warning sign.

Healing followed, thankfulness grew,

Though Rob’s work world turned hostile too.

Still, Resilient Brilliance pressed bravely along,

As Leah headed west—but not for too long.

Josh planted trees by the thousands each day,

Sam helped plan a trip for Tim Allen (okay!).

Working hard, sweating gallons—no doubt,

So pause for a moment—the affirmation cards are out!

Then Bella Tour flights lifted us high,

Florence in Tuscany drifting by.

Retreats in full force, success on repeat,

Leah’s work flourishing—powerful, sweet.

I tagged along late, the dependable mule,

But paused first to watch Lamborghini and Pagani artisans tool.

Milan, Como—beauty galore,

And trapped on a funicular with a man yelling “mama Mia!” At the door.

Back to Canada—PwC battles galore,

But Jackie stepped in, steady at the core.

Depositions, med school, classrooms too,

Josh graduating, Sam off to Nottingham—world travelers through and through.

Now Queen’s came a calling

Doctor training and Kingston ballin

A swearing in and an oath taken

Kingston was shimmying and shaking

White coats and fort moats 

Kingston a city on the water with lots of boats

One final escape before Claus-time began,

Mexico called—we said “yes, we can.”

Rest, restore, regain our reason,

Now here we are—it’s Christmas season.

So gathered together, let’s hope weather complies…

Wait—should I check the window to Santa see? Might as well I probably have to pee.

Back again, glowing lights on the tree…

Hold on—is that glow from the tree… no wait maybe it’s me?

Warmth and laughter, the food table calls,

Let’s end this poem before gravy spills on the walls.

Merry Christmas! To 2026 we say—

Bring it on world… we’re ready to play 🎄

It has been a minute.

I stopped posting here – well I guess in 2024 is what my last post says!

So many things going on in life including spending a lot of time working! And this blog was always about our adventures as a family, and I kind of put a pause on it.

I recently started writing about some of our empty nester adventures over on substack, combining it with some nervous system musings. But I thought it might be fun, for my personal record to post them here too.

But before I do that, a quick 2025 update:

Gabe was sworn in as a lawyer in January 2025. Rob flew down to go to the swearing in. He and Shannon are loving Brooklyn life.

Zandra graduated from with her Masters Berkeley and started working as a teacher and Ilyah is studying Environmental science. We went to San Francisco for her graduation and had a lovely time exploring the city, and heading to the redwoods them. We had some nice meals too!

We went to Utah too as Zach graduated from BYU and Rachael graduated nursing school. They moved to Kingston bcs Zach got into med school (Queen’s) and Rachael and started work as an ICU nurse. They did a 2.5 month trip to Asia after graduation.

Josh headed off tree planting again this summer, and graduated with his degree in Psychology from Carleton in December. He and his gf and some friends left for Asia in Jan 2026 (will be back in May)

Sam continued on at Carleton too, worked for a travel company over the summer and decided to apply to do a semester abroad in Nottingham! He is currently living it up and doing a ton of travel in Europe.

In January we went to Copenhagen to visit Jamie and Judy (they are the on a mission in Denmark – mission president). I then had a conference in Vienna, so Rob joined me for a day, and I stayed a few more. An amazing city.

That same week we went to Copenhagen and Vienna, I launched my Resilience Journal on journal, and then later in the year, I launched my Safe Space affirmation and journal prompt cards, as well as my Worry Time Pad and Program, all part of my Resilient Brilliance Brand

We took a family trip to Disneyland I February and stayed in Newport Beach.

I headed to Vancouver for another mastermind, then returned home to go directly to the Busing Family reunion which was fun. It’s so nice to catch up with everyone and see everyone making the effort to be there – so many years, so much history, so many memories and important to continue to make new ones.

In September, I hosted my first La Bella Vita Retreat in Italy (Tuscany) and it was amazing! We spent a few days in Rome first, before heading to the villa. We did days trips to Florence and Pienza while at the villa. it was pretty magical. Next one is booked for Sept 2026!

Rob joined me at the end of the retreat and we had a great time heading to Lucca for the day, Cirque Terre for 3 nights, Lake Como for 2 nights and then Milan for 2 nights. Loved every minute of it. He had been treated for Prostate cancer in July, then some job changes end of August, so the trip was much needed.

In Dec we took our now “standard” trip to Mexico (trade with out timeshare) at the Westin Lagunamar and love doing out “Mexico” routine including a lot of beach time and some yummy restaurants (Ryoshi is a fave right across the road from us!)

In Jan we headed to Portugal for a long weekend so I could check out a new location for my retreat in 2027. I found something in the Algarve and we had a nice weekend there with some friends who were visiting. We then hit Lisbon for a night and loved it.

In February we headed to Mexico again – a time share came up and since I can work remotely we decided to go for it.

In March, after my in person training for Somatic Experiencing (I am doing the 3 year program) , we decided that we wanted to seize the time we have right now – the Die with Zero approach: time, health and wealth and booked a 1 way ticket to Lisbon… and here we are….

Ill add the substack articles here to continue the story…

(And I’ll also add Rob’s 2024 Christmas poem and the 2025 one too as they give a great recap)