Monthly Snaps of Life

Posted on by
1
Gorgeous sunset in my rear view mirror

Gabe’s turn for dinner

The yummy dnner he made!

Sunday afternoon playing Risk

“Our book”
Date with Josh shopping and cupcakes and hot chocolate!

He lives for sweets

And truly enjoys every bite
Josh worked hard on a project on the Artic (a little help from artist Rob)

Rob took Zach on a date to “50 Years James Bond”. They were so busy runing from exhibit to exhibit that they forgot to take picures for me:(



Our awesome friends made us “hand cookies” to commemorate Sam’s hand adventure!

I took Sam and his buddy on a dinner date to a neighborhood staple: Detroit Eatery, for their famous milkshakes and grilled cheese

He could barely finish his grilled cheese because he drank all his milkshake first!

Zandra went on a Daddy Daughter Date to Little Italy

She’s holding out for chocolate milk:)

She even makes oil and bread happy!

Good times at Church

Don’t they look so cute though!

Every Sunday lunch we have been having some “theme” picnics – and feasting on cheeses, meats and specialties. It is super yummy. Italy this past week…

Zandra continues with the hair…getting so good. She knows she can get anything she wants from me if she tickles and does my hair. You will often find her volunteering to tickle my hair 5 minutes before bed because she knows it buys everyone at least another 15 minutes!

Quote of the Week

Posted on by
Reply

“Don’t count the days, make the days count”.

Gabe threw this quote out the other day at me, and whenever one of my kids remembers a quote and uses it, it HAS to make our quote of the week!

Time will pass regardless of what we do. The motivational speaker Anthony Robbins talks about the “Niagara Syndrome“, where many people just go with the flow, let the river take them wherever, and then end up 5 feet away from dropping in Niagara Falls and then panic because they know they are in for a fall. “But how did this  happen?” is the usual response….

You can change your direction if you put both oars in the river and paddle like crazy where you want to go, or you can make a plan ahead of time and steer yourself in the direction you want to end up in. It’s all about the decisions we choose to make every day that will determine our final destination.

If we make each day count, be conscious of the little decisions we are making, actively do something with our time, we will not be surprised where we end up. Don’t let time just slip by. Make it count.

The Other Woman

Posted on by
4

I love Nina Simone and Rob will often have her music playing in the background while we get dinner ready. I have a couple of favorites that she sings. One is called “Ne Me Quitte Pas” (Please Don’t Leave Me), and the other one is called “The Other Woman”. Ironic, huh? Here are the words to “The Other Woman”:

The other woman finds time to manicure her nails
The other woman is perfect where her rival fails
And she’s never seen with pin curls in her hair

The other woman enchantes her clothes with French perfume
The other woman keeps fresh cut flowers in each room
There are never toys that’s scattered everywhere

And when her baby comes to call
He’ll find her waiting like a lonesome queen
Cos when she’s by his side
It’s such a change from old routine

But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
The other woman will never have his love to keep
And as the years go by the other woman
Will spend her life alone

It’s just such a sad song, and I actually love really sad stuff.

So, when I came across a movie with Natalie Portman on Netflix called “The Other Woman”, I was drawn to it. So we watched it. And I really enjoyed it, mainly because it was very thought provoking. I could also relate to it.

The movie itself got horrible reviews, which I only found out after I had watched it. I wasn’t surprised though. I think the message, the complexities, and the relationship drama are bang on what reality is, and I daresay a lot of people will not be able to relate. Reviews said it was “Melodramatic” and they basically tore apart some of the portrayals of the characters – which actually, I thought were quite realistic. But until you’ve lived it….

The story is essentially about a woman (Natalie Portman) who is “homewrecker” and who steals a married man away from his wife (Lisa Kudrow). They go on to be married and have to cope with the complexities of a second marriage: dealing with the bitter ex wife, and then bonding with her new stepson. Unfortunately in the mix, they also have to deal with the death of their newborn baby. So, quite the drama.

What I found ironic, was how much I could relate to the characters of both the “Other Woman” and “The Bitter Ex Wife”. The Bitter Ex Wife part didn’t surprise me. Having gone through a divorce not initiated by me, I could identify with the feeling of betrayal, anger and pain. Especially when it came to me coping with things about my boys and my role as a mother. I initially felt so much anger that I was losing time with them, and that another woman would be spending MY time with them.  However, what was so apparent in the movie was how damaging the bitter ex wife was to her own child. Divorce is pain enough for them. But, the ongoing spite, revenge, bitterness and anger only serves to create confusion, sadness and pain for the kids. I’m just glad that I didn’t seem to get stuck in that phase. Did I go through that phase? Honestly the first couple of years are a blur, but I’m pretty sure I went through that phase, and hope I didn’t scar my boys too badly:(

But how could I relate to “The Other Woman”? I was not the “Other Woman”  – although really, in my reality, the way Rob’s ex has treated me over the years, one would assume that I was!

What I realized when watching the movie, is that society treats “The Second Wife” or “The Stepmom” AS “The Other Woman”, regardless of the circumstances.The hush that goes through the crowd at school when you pick your stepkids up. The awkward silence and cold wall that goes up when you tell someone you are “only the Stepmom”. The assumption that you are not acting in the child’s best interest. The criticism of everything that you do. The assumption that the birth mother is always acting in the child’s best interest and that she knows best (and not motivated by some underlying issues). The way the rudeness and  abuse towards the Stepmom, from the ex wife and even the stepkids (luckily something that I don’t experience from my stepkids) is passively accepted as a fact of life. The Stepmom is expected to fulfill a certain role, and take on numerous caregiver responsibilities, but she is not accepted into the “parental world”. She is an outsider.

I tell ya, my only saving grace is the fact that I am also a “Real Mother”. Because just being a Stepmom, it’s a tough gig. As a “Real Mother”, I receive a friendly hello in the school yard form other parents and I am part of the greater “parental club”,  I hear about things directly from teachers, I don’t get questioned (or slandered) when I make decision regarding my children,  and I can definitely set my child straight when he is out of line without any fear that someone will be judging me, or it coming back on me in spades.

But, I seriously feel for childless Stepmoms. They don’t get  that saving grace.

However,  hopefully they can get that other saving grace that is out there: the husband. For me, he plays a pivotal role. He can’t solve the school yard drama (he’ll likely be just as criticized for allowing the Stepmom to have any domain), but man he can set the tone for dealing with the bitter ex wife and the step kids.  Unfortunately, in this movie, he didn’t set a great tone and let his new wife be thrown under the bus on numerous occasions. In fact, he even at one point told her that his son was “his family”, not her. Ouch. How are you planning on making your marriage work again? But, sadly, I don’t think his portrayal of the husband role is that far off of what many Stepmoms contend with. I count my lucky stars and my blessings, and say a prayer of gratitude that my husband has got this right. He has figured out the secret to being happy with me, and happy with his kids.  And we are happy with him as a husband, father and even stepfather. I guess he just hasn’t quite yet mastered how to deal with his ex (but we are getting there I think:).

Which brings me to the last character: the bitter ex wife. Ok – I already talked about her, but I think it is such an important role, that it deserves a second look.  Maybe some who don’t live in the divorce world would think Lisa Kudrow was a bit too dramatic, but I gotta say, I think she was bang on. Sadly. Because when you see it up close on and on the screen like that, you see some mean stuff. Towards the Stepmom and the the ex husband, but the real consequences lie with the child.  What’s pretty apparent is if the ex wife can pull herself together, for the sake of her child, life could run a lot smoother – for the child in particular.  I think that is the part that gets missed. I know, because I did it. My anger and hostility initially towards my ex and my children’s Stepmom might have affected them and caused them some grief, but really the only people I was hurting long term, was my own children.

So there you have it. The movie did make me wonder what “the solutions” are? With more and more blended families popping up here and there, there’s got to be some secrets to successfully working together? My personal take, which I think was reinforced for me in the movie is that:

1) We need to get rid of the label “The Other Woman”. Regardless of how the divorce went down. It takes two to tango always, and the reality is there was a divorce. You can only hang your hat so long on to blaming “Another Woman” if in fact there was one involved. And not every woman was even “Another Woman”, so it’s often even an unfair label! We need to take the darkness out of being called “Stepmom”.  I think the Step parents need to be included in the “parental world”. No, they are not “the” parents. But they take on a very special role, that I think need to be recognized – and actually celebrated.

2) The men need to step up and take a stand. They need to prioritize their new marriages, and need to prioritize their children. But not one over the other. They aren’t in competition. There is room to love your wife and room to love your children. They also need to establish a new relationship with their ex and need to secure some pretty strong boundaries there. They need to make sure they know who they need to be “aligned” with – and that should be the people they value most in their life now.

3) For the sake of her children, the bitter ex needs to get over her bitterness somehow, and needs to try to build a  new relationship with her ex, and again, establish some boundaries. Now here’s the other part of the equation: she needs to set the tone of the relationship with the new Stepmom. Yup. I said it. I think it’s on her to reach out. She needs to develop this new relationship with civility, and make it very clear to her children that she is OK with them having a loving relationship with their Stepmom. She is key for this dynamic to be successful.

Would love to hear your thoughts on these roles, and what the solutions are for making it all work….

Cyberbully

Posted on by
Reply

I watched a movie on TV the other day with the boys called “Cyberbully”.

It was the story of a girl who gets bullied – online.  During one scene, the mother of this girl tells her to get off the equivalent of Facebook in this movie. The daughter refuses, as obviously she wants to be online with everyone else.

The mother then tells her daughter that she had gone online and checked her daughter’s account and saw stuff she did not like, and that is why she was telling her to shut it down.

Appalled, the daughter screams at her mother, enraged that her mother has violated her privacy.

The mother calmly retorts that nothing on the Internet is private. Nothing.

As I was watching this particular scene, Zach turned to me and said, “Hey, she’s saying the same thing you guys say”. I think he was a bit surprised that here, on TV, this mother was saying the exact same thing as his own mother had said! Huh. Maybe his own mother isn’t that far off the mark after all?!?

It certainly has been a discussion around here in the past year as technology has started to play a more serious role in our kid’s lives. Rob and I decided to try to instill the “framework” that we wanted to have around technology. So we laid down a few ground rules.

The main rules are: 1) The computers/ipad are to be used in the main areas of the house. 2) We have all the kid’s passwords for all their accounts, phones etc. 3) We will periodically and randomly check their emails, texts, Facebook accounts (only Gabe has it) and any other social media outlet they have.

We do have other “rules” as well, such as when technology can be used, how long, how much, respectful content etc.

They also know that the privilege of having a phone requires them to ensure they are always returning messages asap to a parent who texts or leaves them a voicemail.

But the whole privacy issue certainly does come up. Not for the younger kids (Zach and Zandra have phones now), but I saw with Gabe he was a little unsure about the seemingly invasion of privacy.

We explained that we don’t really care about the “content” per se. I don’t care who likes who, and where you are meeting so and so, and what mark you got on a test. I do care if I see someone bullying you, or you bullying someone, or someone threatening, or something that I know is bordering on the “danger” cliff. That’s what I’m looking out for. Looking out for their safety – and looking out for stuff that I can show them is not appropriate to be sharing in cyberworld.

For example, I sometimes see girls posting their phone numbers on Facebook, or sending invites to parties at their house via Facebook. I’m sure it is innocent enough – but can you see how quickly it can go wrong? Do you want that info being passed around? Or the gossiping that goes on too – “Do you like so and so”? “So and so is a loser”. Sorry – that’s the kind of conversation that leads to nothing but heartache, no good, and some deep hurt. A quick check from a parent on occasion can ensure that these things don’t happen.

So while I’m all for teenagers and tweens exerting their independence and demanding privacy – cyberworld is not the place to start. If it can be passed along to anyone else – in a written form – it is not private and you need to be very aware of that.

The movie really showed how the Internet can really be used to hurt someone, but it also made it painstakingly clear that parents have the control to counter these attacks, simply by monitoring what their kids are doing a little bit more carefully.

I’m so glad that Zach also got to see firsthand how it’s just not his Mom with her weird rules – if you see it on TV – it must be the right thing to do!

Putting 10-10-10 to the test!

Posted on by
2

When Zach had to go to the hospital last month as I talked about here, I had commented how I was so glad that we didn’t have divorce drama to contend with. We were all able to wait together supporting Zach without all the tension and awkwardness that just is lame for everyone. I commented to Rob how I dread the day anything happens to one of his kids because of the unending divorce hostility he’s the recipient of (for absolutely no good reason I might add).

Of course, I spoke too soon.

As I talked about here, Sam was in the hospital this past week. So glad he is fine.

But it did present with some drama – but really more of an internal struggle for me.

When Rob first took him to the ER, I stayed home with the other kids, which was the natural thing for me to do, and spent the evening with them. However, later Rob called to say he would likely be staying the night. The kids were all in bed (and can be left alone) so my natural instinct was to obviously go be with them at the hospital.

But his ex was there too.

I decided to pass.

She’s just uncomfortable to be around. Fluctuates between being hostile and then just plain awkward. I figured it was bad enough her being in the same room with Rob, I didn’t want to add me to the mix.

But she left at 10:30 and so I went to join Sam and Rob and stayed until after 1.

By that time, we knew they were admitting Sam, and Rob was staying with him obviously.

I also knew that his ex would be back bright and early the next morning.

Now, if it were Zach or Josh, there is no question that I would be there with them round the clock. But so would their Dad, and so would Rob (unless he had to take care of the other kids). And we would all be fine and maybe take shifts for food, but everyone would be fine with everyone because it was about the child.

But given the nature of the relationship with Rob’s ex and both of us, I felt like I had a dilemma.

Should I stay or should I go?

If I go there will be trouble. But if I stay it will be double.

Thank you Clash. I understand the song in a different way now.

I wanted to be there for Rob. I didn’t want to be there because of his ex.

So I 10-10-10’d it.

Should I go to the hospital the next day?

The first 10 – well – it would be awkward. His ex would not want me there. She might be civil, but would likely make comments afterwards to people about me stepping on her toes. She might be rude. She likely would not acknowledge me. Overall, it would just be uncomfortable.

But for Rob, he’d appreciate my support. However,  he would also understand if I wanted to remove myself from the tension too. He just finds the whole awkwardness weird and annoying really (and doesn’t get the hostility given their history and the history of their divorce). So, he’d be accepting of whatever I was comfortable doing.

The next 10 – 10 months – well whatever her issues were with me would still exist whether I went or not. I’m either the overbearing Stepmom trying to be the Mom, or the you-know-what Stepmom who should be doing more. Nothing would change in 10 months really. As for Rob, he again would be the same as the 10 min scenario –  Ok with whatever I decided.

Then I did the last 10 – 10 years. That’s when I really realized this had nothing to do with Rob or his ex!!! This had everything to do with Sam! I was thinking about the wrong question. Should I go to the hospital for Sam? And the 10 year outcome screamed Yes!!!!

I quickly backtracked to the other 10’s. 10 minutes – he might not care – he’s being entertained, he’s got his Mom and his Dad. 10 months – he actually might question me – “where were you Leah”? Given how hands on I am at home, and how much I love him, he would likely wonder why I wasn’t there for him??

10 years? I thought about the relationship I want with him in 10 years. Completely independent from his parents. I want to be his Stepmom with our own unique relationship. He’s my little Sam the Man. My Finnigan. I needed to be there for him- awkwardness and all – for the sake of me and Sam. And for Sam and me.

So, I decided to tread lightly and as respectfully as possible, to try to avoid the hostility, while making sure Sam knew he was loved and supported by me too. I went for a few hours in the morning, and then a few hours in the evening. In the evening Sam’s Mom left to go home for a break, and Rob needed to catch a few winks after being up for 2 nights with virtually no sleep, so I got to hang out with Sam on my own for a bit. We went on an adventure walk around the hospital, made sure we had some good pictures to document his journey in his yearly photo book, and then just hung out and read some books together.

Was it awkward when his Mom was around? I guess?? But that’s really not my problem. Did she feel like I was stepping on toes, or was annoyed when I was there too? Maybe. But you know what? Such is the nature of divorced lives. It’s all part of the special divorce package.

I’m so glad I 10-10-10d it. I don’t purposefully want to step on Rob’s ex’s toes, but realistically, I can’t control how she takes things. I can be as respectful as I can be to her, but at the same time I need to prioritize my relationship with my step kids and be respectful to them too. I can likely never appease her, I will always do the wrong thing in her eyes and I’m sure the awkwardness will be life long. But that is her problem to own, and not mine to take on.

It became crystal clear to me that my priority is not my relationship with her and I should not waste an ounce of energy worrying about my relationship with her. It’s all about my family: my husband and my step kids (and my kids- but they aren’t affected in this scenario). There will be lots of important shared events: parties, graduations, weddings, special occasions- to come in the future. I’m so glad that I had this experience that really gave me clarity on how I will handle future ones: respectfully, keeping my eye on the long term priority, which is a beautiful relationship with my family: husband, kids and skids.

Thank you 10-10-10!

Sam’s Pencil Adventure

Posted on by
Reply

Last week Sam got stabbed by a pencil.

Ok, that sounded a lot more violent than it actually was (or at least so I think).

He was at school and was sitting down on the carpet for some activity, and leaned back and his hand was punctured by a pencil that had been left on the floor – somehow in a precarious position I guess and it got him.

This was last Thursday. We saw it, said “oh no” and that was the end of that.

All weekend, everything was fine. He played, he did lots of arts and crafts, and never mentioned his hand again.

On Monday we picked him up from school and his hand was hurting a lot. It looked pretty ugly and was a bit swollen. He reported playing in a lot of dirt and carrying heavy rocks, so I suspect some bacteria got in the little puncture that was almost completely closed.

We went home and cleaned it up and he seemed fine. Rob went to check on it before we went to bed, and it looked angrier and more swollen. So, he took him to the closest ER.

They checked him out, did an x-ray to ensure nothing was still in there, and then loaded him up with antibiotics.

The next afternoon, it was even worse. Three doses of antibiotics later and nothing. Rob took him to the local children’s clinic for a second opinion, and they sent them off to the Children’s Hospital.

Needless to say that was best thing they did, because Sam required some serious antibiotics to be delivered by IV and ended up being admitted for 2 nights. Who knew what a nasty number a pencil could do on you?

The good thing was Sam actually had a good time. Once he got past the first night, where he had some pain, and eventually got some sleep after being admitted in the middle of the night (after being in ER all evening), he was feeling pretty good. His hand was splinted in a half cast and he had to keep his arm elevated and he was hooked up to an  IV. But, he was able to roam around, check out the gift store multiple times, and even had a playdate with his good friend who was at the hospital being treated for cancer (boy, do we appreciate dealing with pencil punctures over cancer). He also got to cash in on some gifts and treats, and enjoyed the “hotel like” room service. But, by the second night, he was bouncing off walls and clearly itching to get home.

He was released the morning after the second night with some oral antibiotics and thankfully with a much healed hand. What a little trooper. Beware of pencils however.

Here’s some pictures that we took to document his stay (and include in his yearly photo album):

Keeping his hand up

Resting with the splint off

He really liked the cool turtles on his IV bandage



Getting his hand re-wrapped by the nurse



Pretty big hand now!

Keeping the hand up

Playing with some new airplanes

Making a wish

Hmmm…Isn’t this the same picture we took with Zach when he was here 6 weeks ago???

Exploring the hospital

On our adventure walk

With the big bear soldier!

10-10-10

Posted on by
2

Browsing through books in the bookstore the other week, I came across one called “10-10-10″ by Suzy Welch.

It caught my eye for some reason – perhaps intrigued by what it could mean, and then the subheading “A Fast and Powerful Way to get Unstuck in Love, at Work, and at Home” sounded perfect for my quest for “new material” to share with my clients. And new material for my own life.

I bought it and read it.

And loved it.

And have shared it.

And have used it (more on my personal experience in another post).

The concept is very simple. So simple in fact, after I read what it was, I wondered how she was going to write a whole book about it.

She explains the concept in the first chapter:

In a nutshell, it’s a life tool to help you make decision differently and proactively, by deliberately considering their consequences in the immediate present, near term, and distant future.

In ten minutes…ten months…and ten years.

10-10-10.

The process is quite simple too:

1) Every 10-10-10 process starts with a question: posing your dilemma, crisis or problem in the form of a query. For example: Should I quit my job? Should I end this relationship? Should I buy this house? Should I skip this meeting? Should I go to the party?

She emphasizes the importance of having a defined question – so sometimes you need to really take some time to figure out what the “real” issue is. (There’s a lot of side issues and distractions that can make problems much more messy).

2) The next stage is to collect data: You can do this in your head, on paper, make charts, diagrams, talk it through with a friend, or even outloud to yourself! But you need to be honest. What are my options?

Then you need to look at: given my question, what are the consequences of each of my options in ten minutes? In ten months? In ten years?

As an FYI – she points out there is nothing literal about each 10 – each 10 just represents the immediate here and now, the short term, and the long term.

3) The last step is analysis. Take all the info you have collected and compare it to your innermost values – your beliefs, goals, dreams, and needs. She suggests you pose yourself this great question: “Knowing what I now know about all of my options and their consequences, which decision will best help me create a life of my own making?”

The trick in this stage though is you have to have thought about your values, beliefs and needs. You need to have a good understanding of who you are and what you stand for. If you don’t then this is the opportunity to figure it out. There is a great Appendix with questions at the end of the book that can help you dig a little deeper if you need some guidance.

By the time you have completed those steps, then it is often easier to see what the “right” decision is for you.

Of course “right” decisions don’t necessarily mean “easy” decisions. Sometimes it’s the case where both options aren’t great, or both options are great and you have to choose the “best” one. However,  at least you can rest assured that you have made the decision based on “something” and you can go back to your 10-10-10 to remind yourself why you chose what you chose. It can help stop the ruminating about whether you made the best decision or not. You can be comforted that you made the best decision based on the info and the options that you at the time. So you don’t have to keep looking back and questioning yourself (if you do, then perhaps you really do know that you made the wrong decision….)

It is also helpful to have done the process, then you can share it with others that may be impacted by your decision. It may help them also understand where you are coming from. It shows that you are basing your decisions on “something” (hopefully your values)  – not just haphazard-hope-for -the-best kind of thing.

After explaining the whole process, the rest of the book provides different scenarios and examples of how 10-10-10 can be used. It was actually a great read – to see some of the struggles people have (often ones I could relate to)  and see how 10-10-10 helped. It was interesting to see how the same questions can lead to different results for different people, or to different results to the same people at different times.

It was also interesting to see how sometimes asking one question really led to the discovery that it was not the  right question (the problem was really about something else). Or, it opened up people’s eyes to different options that they never thought were available. It certainly helped people think more in general about consequences (you have the freedom to choose, but with every choice comes consequences) and I think evaluating consequences helps you to be more mindful, as well as more forward thinking.

Overall, I think it is neat, quick, thoughtful and deliberate process that can help ensure you are making choices and decisions that are in line with your values, and in line with the kind of life you want to read.

Can’t wait to try it out more… have already done it a couple of times and it is a success!

Things We Love

Posted on by
Reply

Sunday afternoon is time we usually spend together as a family.  I sometimes try to come up with some unique activities for us to do.

They aren’t always successful, as sometimes the kids have high expectations of what we should be doing.

I try to explain to them that I really want them to enjoy just “being”. Just doing small things, enjoying each other’s company, doing creative activities together.

I don’t want them constantly needing to be stimulated or entertained.

This week I suggested we each make a collage of “all the things you love”  – representing who you are, at this point in your life now.

I was first faced with some resistance, but they got into it.

Here are the finished products:

One day, I hope they get a kick out of looking back at these collages!!

In Search of the Best Burger

Posted on by
Reply

Gabe and I had a one on one date the other day.

We went to a burger joint again.

I think we are searching for the best burger in the city.

I don’t think we found it at this place, but it was pretty good. And pretty big.

I’m always on the look out for the best poutine. This one was huge! it was good, but I’m still searching!

Quote of the Week

Posted on by
1

“Carpe Diem”

Seize the Day.

One thing that I definitely love as my kids are getting older, is I can begin to share with them some of my favorite movies.

This weekend, we watched “Dead Poet’s Society”.

I remember seeing this movie when it came out  (back in 1989!) and being very touched by it. I think I saw it a couple of times, but it has been a long time since I have seen it.

The other night during Family Home Evening, while reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens”, the movie was mentioned; specifically, “Carpe Diem” was mentioned, so we decided to show it to the kids.

Such a powerful movie, with a powerful message.

I love how Robin William’s character – Mr. Keating (the controversial teacher) tells the kids to “Seize the Day” and to “Make your life extraordinary”.

I love how he gets them to stand on the desk as a reminder to always try to see things from a different perspective.

I love the free thinking he encourages, and the passion about life that he tries to instill.

I love how he encourages them to march to their own beat.

I love how the boys create a special brotherhood and bond.

I love how he teaches them about romance and poetry.

I love how they call him “O Captain, My Captain”.

My heart broke at the end when Neil feels he has no options.

I bawled (again) when the father holds him in his arms saying “My son” over and over, then holds his wife who is crying “He’s alright”.

I continued bawling when the boys stood on their desk for their Captain. Powerful.

Love this movie.

Love the message.

I hope my kids will seize the day. I hope they will make their lives extraordinary. I hope they know how much potential they have. I hope they know and feel how much they are loved.