Why do Missionaries need to be supervised at all times? Why do they have to have a companion?

So I wrote this blog post last month sometime and it has been sitting in my drafts. I’m glad it was there for so long as these past few weeks I’ve really come to have a better understanding of how important and inspired having companions are. As mentioned in previous posts, Zach has had a pretty rocky start in Tahiti dealing with some homesickness. The other day, on a very low day, his companion was able to be there for him and support him how he needed. Thousands of miles away from home, a companion is to be that “family” that looks out for you.

When we spoke to Zach the other day he mentioned how earlier in the day he was in the grocery store and he bumped into his past companion from the MTC – Elder Davis and they had a joyous reunion! They had built a bond that is forever there now.

Missions, as I’m beginning to understand, are like nothing else in the world. The experiences and how difficult they are – especially for kids this age – push and stretch them in ways I’m not even sure I have been pushed and stretched – ever. But having someone with you can be a great source of comfort.

However, the companion can also be a great source of trial too – which I have heard from many missionaries. Sometimes the greatest trial on their whole mission. Overall, these companionships teach very valuable life lessons about relationships: patience, unconditional love, respect, support, tolerance and a multitude of other things that likely each person in that companionship needs to learn. People find it odd that missionaries aren’t allowed to date and at a time in their lives where they should be exploring relationships and learning about themselves. Well, I think having multiple companionships – and being with them all the time while you are with them, provides these kids with very unique life and relationship experience that shapes all their future relationships.

Back to my original post:

I don’t look at it as being “supervised” at all times – and I don’t think they would either. But missionaries do go around in companionships – two by two – or sometimes there are three of them. Even though they are with someone else – it’s not like one of them is “in charge” of the other.

Often when they are out in their actual mission (as opposed to being in the MTC) there is a senior and a junior companion – based on how long they have been out (it’s kind of nice for a “greenie” (what they call a brand new missionary) to get to be with someone who knows the area, the people, the ropes etc.) But they are not a babysitter. When they first arrive on a mission their companion is considered their “trainer” and they have fun terms like being the “son or daughter” of the trainer.

Zach with his trainer:

Missionaries in fact have to figure out how to get along with each other, work with each other and live with each other; they need to figure out how to deal with some people who want to work more or less, some who want to eat healthier or junkier, some who want to exercise more or less, some who want to study more or less, some who want to follow the rules to a tee and other who don’t etc. They are individuals. And they are usually between the ages of 18-25 – so they are YOUNG. This means that you are dealing with different levels of maturity, different perspectives, different upbringings, different family backgrounds, different life objectives, different work ethics, and even different testimonies – and different a million other things. Hence why when Zach wrote about having two “fights” in the MTC – it shocked me at first that this would happen in the MTC – but then reality reminded me that these are human boys between 18-26 – and so it’s perfectly normal that there is all sorts of room for growth and maturity! They may look similar (they are asked to dress conservatively as they are representative of Christ ) but they ARE individuals.

So a missionary is assigned a companion as soon as they enter the MTC, and will have a companion the whole way through their mission. But not the same one all the time. “Transfers” occur every 6 weeks – meaning you can be sent to another geographical area, and be with a new companion, or you can stay in the same area and have a new companion come to you. Sometimes you stay with the same companion for multiple transfers – and sometimes both of you are transferred elsewhere at the same time. So over the course of your mission, you will have had a fair number of companions. Some you will love and be sad to say good bye when you are transferred and others you will be more than happy to part ways with. It is all part of the growing experience of each missionary – to learn how to live with others, compromise, grow and share. Some companions will be life long friends and you may up rooming with them at University (if you end up going to the same one – which a lot of Mormons go to BYU so there’s a good chance) and others, not so much.

Zach and his first companion in the MTC – Elder Davis:

Missionaries can also go on “Splits” which basically means they just swap out companions for a few hours/days (depending on the area/needs at the time). It can be a nice break for the missionaries to have someone else to be with. Although, in some areas, multiple companionships (groups of two) end up living together, and often there are multiple companionships who are in the same congregation so they do have a chance to interact and spend time with each other too. On their day off, it is not uncommon for groups of missionaries to get together to go exploring or do something touristy. (More on P days another post)

Lots of fun times together with these guys! (Zach’s district didn’t have any females in it for the first little while – they were in another district)

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Right on the church website, they talk about companionships. Here’s what the “official” low down is:

Typically, missionaries work in pairs, called companionships. Sometimes there are more than two missionaries in a companionship but never fewer. And they’re not just companions—they’re roommates too. Companionships exist so missionaries can look out for each other. After all, most missionaries are working in places far from home. Their parents rest easier knowing they’re not out there alone.

I have to agree that it does put my mind at ease knowing that Zach is not out wandering alone! It is not the same as travelling on your own, as you are signed up with a specific organization (The Church) and their visa is attached to that organization. Plus, they are there to do certain things, so it’s nice that they have a buddy system in place. Especially in this day and age when they go into people’s homes – they never know what they will encounter.

There are pretty strict rules about being with members of the opposite sex too (not just “not dating”) but not even having 2 to 1 ratio in private quarters. If they want to be in private quarters they need to have more people (I can’t remember the exact numbers – maybe 3:1??) or they need to meet in public. That to me is just common sense for the protection of all concerned – protection against something happening, and protection against allegations of something happening. I’ve even noticed the tutor we hired for Josh who comes to our home is much more strict about that kind of thing (whether an adult is home or not). You can’t take chances in this day and age and you need to protect yourself – especially missionaries when they can be the target of people who don’t like what they are doing.

Obviously being with someone all the time is tough. So I’m not saying that missionaries don’t crave to go off on their own. But, the buddy system is in place and most are agreeable to abide by that system.

If you want to follow Zach’s actual mission blog here it is: zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com