Beach Day

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Waking up to a spectacular sunrise is the way to go.

I love to sleep in, but in the Outer Banks, I love to watch the sunrise over the ocean for at least the first few days. It always takes me time to unwind and my body adjust to sleeping in.

Our first real day on the beach was pretty nice.

The kids slept in (except for Zach who ran with Rob and me early in the morning), and then started a game of monopoly (sort of – they created some of their own rules too, which tends to cause some conflict) and worked on a puzzle.

We headed to the beach which is our backyard. The kids used some boogie boards which we purchased earlier and had a blast until the lifeguard kicked everyone out of the water for the day due to some pretty serious rip tides. The kids were disappointed, but spent the day playing beach football, digging holes and playing some other ball game with Rob. They also created their own beach baseball game too.

One thing is for sure, as much as they fight (and they do, trust me; and then I do lose it on them, trust me), they are pretty good about creating their own games!

Rob and I were also able to walk the beach, and sneak in some reading and quick naps on the beach. Of course he always ends up on a conference call at some point too:)

The house we rented; Rob on a call: Rob throwing the ball to the boys – a game of “fetch”,  lol! (We also gained a child for this game— we often have kids join us. People must think we run a summer camp!)

The sunset was just as spectacular as the sunsets.

While dinner was cooking, we started to play some cards, and then watched the end of “Remember the Titans” (awesome movie). We hit the beach at dark for flashlight tag and Starlight, Starbright, and then spent some time soaking in the hot tub (our house comes with one this year!)

Again, a perfectly, amazing day!

Heading to the Outer Banks

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The day finally arrived for us to move on to our “real” vacation.

I must say, Williamsburg was the perfect add on to this trip: we got a lot of shopping out of our systems, learned a lot, explored nature a little, and had our tennis tournament.

On to serious beaching!

We are a beachy family.

We all the love the ocean, love the waves, love the sand, love the sunshine, and love the laid back vibe that the beach brings.

We got an early start and made our way to the Outer Banks. It’s our third time going and I get so excited when I start to see the signs.

Not sure if you have met Shaun the Sheep? He’s our CDF “Flat Stanley” and has started travelling with us recently. Josh picked him up in Fiji, and he did our Downunder tour and appeared in many of our pictures then and suddenly reappeared for this trip too:)

The first year we stayed in Duck, and ended up having a crab lunch on a picnic table at Dockside N Duck, a little seafood market. Since our family seems to thrive on tradition, we headed to Duck for lunch even though we had rented a Beach Home in South Nags Head.

It was windy, but we feasted on shrimp, cajun crab dip and crabs. We also picked up a key lime pie to take back to our Beach Home for dessert later that night. They have the BEST key lime pie I have ever had. We shopped a bit more (a teeny tiny bit more) and then headed back south.

While waiting for our house to be ready, we stopped at Jockey’s Ridge. The kids had a blast rolling down the dunes, making sand angels and just taking in the amazing views.

Who is that stunning man in the distance? 

A little perspective on how big Jockey’s Ridge is. This is my family off in the distance! 
CDF written in the sand…

Finally, our house was ready. Everyone set off exploring, while I got organized.

View from our balcony

Rob has learned to let me get settled in. I need to unpack, get groceries done and away and set up all the “areas” of our home for the week (where we keep all our beach stuff, where all the games go, where the charging stations are etc.)

Once that is done, I relax!

We had a great dinner – grilled a bunch of fish from the seafood market and then made some fish tacos. We devoured the key lime pie as well:)

Finally, when it was nice and dark, we headed to the beach.

Every vacation we are on we head out to look at the sky. We started this tradition years ago. It is an important one for us, as I told the kids the first time we did this that even when we are apart (which being a blended family, where the kids all have 2 homes, we are apart often) we can always look up at the stars and be connected, as they are the same stars and the same moon wherever we are. So, when together on vacations, we rehearse all together:


“Starlight, Starbright, 
First star I see tonight.
Wish I may, wish I might, 
Have the wish I wish tonight.”

Then we proceed to play “Flashlight tag.” One person is “it” with their flashlight and runs around and tries to find the others. It gets tricky because everyone has a flashlight and tries to throw people off by shining the lights around and identifying others. Rob is still, consistently, the hardest to get, and so he is the most sought after!
After a long day, the kids begged us to start a movie. Being on vacation, we obliged, and started “Remember the Titans.” When half of us fell asleep, we called it a night and headed off to bed. 
Perfect start to an awesome beach vacation!

CDF Tennis Tournament 2013 in Williamsburg

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One of my first dates with Rob was playing tennis. Date number 4 to be exact:) One day I’ll have to write the story of how I met Rob and our fabulous courtship.

I told Rob I could play tennis. 
And technically, I can play – just not very well. Although this year, I got serious and went to a week long tennis clinic (in the evenings). It was awesome and improved my game (or so I thought).
I needed to improve my game because my kids have all become good little players, and being competitive, I can’t have them always beat me.
Last year Rob introduced “The CDF Tennis Tournament.” He takes these things pretty seriously, as do all the kids. 
He even went and had our own “CDF Open” trophy made.
Like I said, serious business.
We decided to have the tournament every summer on one of our summer vacations. The kids have really taken to this and there is a lot of talk in the weeks leading up over who will win the CDF cup.
Last year, it was Gabe and Zach (you can read about it here). They were the team to beat  (or so they thought)!

This year, the winners were Rob and Josh.
It was a very close game against Zach and Gabe in the finals.
Zandra, Sam and I were taken out early on, but a valiant effort by all!

The teams (and the CDF Open trophy)
The warm-up

The matches

The Champions

Next year, I will beat them all.

And I mean this in the most motherly, loving way possible (of course).

Jamestown

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After exploring Williamsburg, and shopping until none of us could stand it anymore, we headed to Jamestown.

I think we actually preferred this area. It was so pretty to drive to, and we loved being able to walk around by the water. We took a “Living History Tour”, which was pretty neat to learn about what it was like for the first English settlers. The kids also participated in a scavenger hunt, where they could win a prize after finding all the clues. Since my kids are totally motivated by any kind of prize, they completed the hunt in no time. One of the best parts about having so many siblings is how fun it is to compete  do things together!

Here are a few pictures of our Jamestown adventure:

Don’t you love Zach’s shirt? Good Hates Best. That can be our quote of the week:)

After touring Jamestown, we headed to the pool and then out for dinner. We were all pooped because we had gotten up early that morning to participate in our annual CDF tennis tournament. More on that to come…. All in all, another great day!

Good Job

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So, internet connection is pretty spotty on this vacation.

I think it’s a sign to help me stay more unplugged.

I’m happy to report, no work can happen (for me, but for most importantly, for hubby – although he has been roaming like crazy with his phone to get some things done. He has a great job, which affords him lots of flexibility at home, but the downfall is he still needs to be available even when he’s away).

The spotty connection makes it harder to blog and upload my pictures. I like getting it done in the early morning hours while I’m away before the kids get up – otherwise, I’ll get home and it’ll never get done!

Anyhow, roll with it. I’ll let the photos upload in the time they dictate:) I will eventually capture those memories!

***************************************************************************

This morning Rob, Zach and I went for a run.

I am not a good runner. I have tried to run on and off for years, with varying degrees of success. Right now, the three of us have set our sights on a 5K in September, so we have to get out there.

A few years ago, while on vacation in Hawaii, Rob and I met an older gentleman named Charlie. He was a retired Army Corps Medical Officer. We started chatting and he told us he ran every day for 5K. I was impressed – if he can do it – why do I struggle? (Ok, maybe I was jealous!) He continued:

“I run every day. But I don’t worry myself. If I feel like stopping to admire a beautiful home, I do. If I want to admire a flower, I do. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me. I just enjoy myself and eventually get it done.”

Sort of a “You vs You” attitude, right?

That conversation always struck me. It depends on your goals. My goal is to just run. Not to win races, but to just get out there and run. So now, sometimes when I stop to take a picture, my husband (and Zach, if he is with us) laugh at me and I remind them that I loved Charlie’s perspective and am living it. I may not win any races, but who am I competing with? Me. (Although Zach has changed this quote to being “You vs You vs The Rest of the World.” Lol).

The usual arrangement is we start out running together, Rob pulls out in the front and Zach hangs with me for a bit, then he takes off too. I just go at my own pace;)

This morning, as Zach and I were running, a woman ran by us and said “Good Job, guys.” I swear, I almost stopped in my tracks. Did she just say that? I could have kissed her. It was AWESOME! Did she know that I felt like I was going to drop and wanted to stop? Just those two words motivated me and perked me up and I kept going!

Zach pulled out ahead of me, and then a man ran by him and said “Good job, little man!”

Zach turned around and smiled at me and held up two fingers (representing, “two good jobs, Mom!) and ran a little faster.

Isn’t it amazing that two small words could be so meaningful to complete strangers?

Thanks to Charlie and the encouragement of this woman, I know that I can do this. I may not win any races, but I can finish and I can do a “good job.”

Williamsburg

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On our way to the Outer Banks, we decided to break the trip up a bit and stop in Williamsburg for a few days.

I wish it was because we are deeply interested in the historical meaning of this area for our American friends. While it is fascinating, I have to say, sadly, we were lured there by the shopping.

I do need to explain something for all my American friends, however, to make me seem less shallow and unpatriotic (for them – which I totally am, usually:)

Stuff in the States, for the most part, is ridiculously cheap compared to what we pay at home.

I was grocery shopping and oohing and aahing at how cheap things were! Milk! Meat! Cereal! And please don’t get me started on the variety that there is. There is stuff that I have never even heard of!! We see some of it on commercials on TV on American channels, but to walk through the aisles and see the selection is quite a trip in itself. ( I do have to question why there are so many pancake houses, however?? We don’t even have 1 back home and we counted at least 5 in a total of 10 miles here!!

So after I loaded up on groceries, and laughed at the bill which was half of what I would have paid at home, we headed over to the outlets.

The only downfall of outlets, is that there is so much to buy, and we really have no room to put it all in our car because we are sooooo packed. Luckily I have that handy car packer that I talked about in my last post:)

We shopped.

A lot.

All of us.

I would say my kids are shopaholics, but I know it’s simply because they are as blown away with how much they can buy with their money as I am.

So, another little travel tip: Before we go anywhere on vacation I ask the kids to give me all their money that they want to spend. This is whatever they have saved from gifts, allowances, extra jobs etc. I count it up and put it on little “credit cards” that I make them. Then, whenever they buy anything, I pay, and then it gets deducted off the card. It avoids them walking around with money, or me having to exchange everyone’s money. For this trip, because it was only the States, and Gabe is older with his own bank card, he kept track of his own money and used his real debit card. But, it works like a charm with the other guys. When their money is spent, their money is spent. Because it is their own money, I have found over the years that they are much better shoppers, looking for deals, evaluating if it is “really worth it” – so outlets are a real treat for them too because they get more bang for their buck!

Aside from shopping, we did walk around Colonial Williamsburg one day and it was very pretty. But, we aren’t all up on our American History (before you judge me, ask yourself if you are up on Canadian history??!!) so I think we got the gist, but certainly missed a lot there was to offer.  (We also didn’t want to pay the $50 per person that was required to do all the things that would have likely taught us more and made it a more educational experience.) We also walked around The College of William and Mary – which is gorgeous! Oh, to be back in school again. I would love a campus like that. Some nice gentleman also came up to us and asked if we were dropping one of our kids off since it was the freshman start day; he wanted to welcome us. So sweet! What hospitality! But do I look old enough to have a child in college? Probably:((

We did also find a chocolate and candy store in the little town. We quickly zeroed in on the chocolate caramel covered apples, which my kids were thrilled that I offered to get them each one. Again, to put it in perspective, these chocolate covered apples at the stores we can buy them at back home are $12.99 EACH compared to the $3.99. This was their chance to try these babies!

We spent some time poolside, and spent some time watching Gilmore Girls (our family show right now), and everyone got some good forced reading time too.

Certainly off to a good start for our vacation!

This is typical Josh:)

Tips for Travelling with Children, Tweens and Teens: How to Survive a Road Trip

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Road Trip!

You would think that as your kids get older, it requires less prep to go away with them.
Everyone says that to me. “You’re going away? 15 hour trip? How old are your kids?”
“8, 10, 12, 12, 15.”
“Oh, well that’s good. They pretty much fend for themselves then. They can pack their stuff and entertain themselves.”
Totally. You got it. I can pretty much sit back the night before we leave and do nothing. 
My kids must be really behind in life skills, because I know half of them would pack lots of stuffies and no underwear. One would have lots of underwear, and cutie tops  (but limited “regular” clothes), and one would have one outfit for the 12 days.  Luckily one would have absolutely everything and remind everyone else to bring everything too. So maybe it would be ok.
Just in case it wouldn’t,  here are my pre-trip tips: 
Make a list of what to take for each child. 
Then, hand them the list and ask them to bring the items on the list to a common area. (For the younger guys, I do this with them).  I then put everything in the suitcase as they check off everything on the list.
Make other lists of “common things” to take and have them bring the items  to you as well so they can be packed and checked off.
Basically, make lists. 
Load up on lots of snacks to feed the hungry crew every hour or so. Best to not let them get hungry at all, because hungry kids mean grumpy kids. Hungry Mama, means grumpy Mama too. And Hungry Daddy means falling asleep, driving off the road Daddy.
Let me just say you are also best to find yourself a stellar car packer and driver too. Someone who calmly packs all the suitcases in the truck, without complaining you have too much. Someone who seems to be able to squeeze everything in, despite you adding more to the pile at the last minute. Someone who does not freak out when the roof rack key breaks in the lock, which means he has to stop packing to find some ingenious solution. Then,  someone who happily does all the driving as he understands that you spend way too many hours driving for work, so lets you nod off and sleep as much as possible. Hard to find, but if you do, don’t let him go.
Tips when on the Road:
1. Leave really early so that the kids sleep for the first couple of hours while the sun comes up.
2. Bring breakfast and lunch. Pick things that are a little bit out of the ordinary (not their typical breakfast): breakfast burritos (easy to make ahead and freeze), cereal bars, bagels with cheese. For lunch we had Spanekopita (greek phyllo pastry filled with spinach and cheese or ones just with cheese). 
3. Pack water bottles for all. Are you seeing the theme? Bring it all with you to avoid stopping.
4. Pack a ton of snacks: granola bars, chips, roasted seaweed (seriously, my kids love the stuff), dried fruit, cookies. A variety of sweet and salty. Try to throw some healthy in there – but not too healthy, part of the fun of a road trip is the snacks!
5. Play a trivia game. This was the biggest hit – and we passed several hours doing it. Super fun. I made a bunch of categories: FAMILY (questions about our family and extended family), MOVIES/SHOWS (only ones we have watched together), TRAVEL (all about our past vacations, and our future plans), CHURCH (all about things they have learned at church, things we have talked about during our family nights, things about friends at church), EVERYDAY LIFE (things about our meals, recipes, schedules, sports we play, activities we do, neighbourhood, schooling), GENERAL KNOWLEDGE (I cheated and had a book for this one: flags, geography, human body, animals, math, history etc).
Every kid gets to pick a category, and then answer a question. If they get it right, they get one of these:
If it’s wrong, then it is open for others to say the answer.
6. Word train: Start with one word and the next person has to say a related word. Amazing how our minds think – especially with a bunch of boys!
7. Bring lots of funny movies for them to watch. (Be careful though because the funny could turn to sad and then one kid will claim they hate the movie and stop watching it at the sad part. Especially if this movie was “Marley and Me” and this particular kid is missing our new little puppy tremendously.)
8. Bring the first season of some of their favourite shows. This year, I brought Modern Family. We watch it often, but have never seen the first season.
9. Bring seasons of old shows. Be careful, they may make fun of you for having liked these shows! We have been through some Happy Days, Brady Bunch, Get Smart, and Gilligan’s Island. This time, I brought Magnum PI, and Friends. The kids got a kick out of the what the characters of Friends looked like and asked “Were you the same age as the characters when the show came out?” Sadly, I pretty much was. “Figured”, was the response. Not sure what that means, but I left it at that. I also brought Friday Night Lights – which was not a big show at home so it’s really new for us.
10. Make a playlist that your kids hate and play it over and over again. They will either join in and sing to the crazy songs they hate, or put their own earphones on and leave you alone.
Of course, you need to stop for a few minutes here or there – but seriously, hold your pee. You can do it. Train yourself. We are only stopping a couple of times. 
Happy Travels!
The CDF’s

Quote of the Week and Road Trip Time

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We’re going on a road trip!

Heading to one of my favourite places.

After reading so much about everyone else’s summer vacations, it is finally our time!
This year we ended up only having vacation at the end of the summer.  Between the kid’s camps and ex’s having priority this year to pick summer vacation, we ended up with these last two weeks. It has been a long wait, but we are finally off!

We are heading south – stopping for a few days in Williamsburg, Va, and then continuing on to the Outer Banks, NC

We fell in love with the Outer Banks when we first went a couple of years ago. We decided that it was a place we wanted to return to many times. It was just a right fit for our family. In fact, I wrote back here how we made a pact that for our 20th Anniversary that we would return to the Outer Banks.  Here’s a little snippet of that funny conversation we had back then:

So, after spending the week and loving it, I suggested we all promise to come back out to the Outer Banks to celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary (in 17 years). Of course we all agreed we’d like to come back before then – but wanted us all to make a promise for the future too. A promise seals the deal. We all started imagining what we would be doing in 17 years – where the kids would be, what they would have accomplished, would they be married? Families? As we were talking and laughing making up stories about who they would become, Sam started a side conversation with Rob:

Sam – “Dad, you are going to have to give me your phone number, email, and street address so I can have them then.”

Rob – “Don’t worry Sam, I’m sure you’ll have it.”

We couldn’t really hear what Sam had said, so we asked Rob to repeat it – which he did. We all burst out laughing because it was so cute.

Sam seemed a little unsure about why we were laughing so hard –but he turned to Rob and held out his little pinky and said “Pinky swear Dad you’ll give me your numbers and address.”

Rob did a pinky swear with him, and we laughed even harder.

Sam – “I don’t care – Dad did a pinky swear” – as if to say we were all laughing because we thought Rob was lying to him!

I love this story because A) it is so darn cute and B) I love how in Sam’s mind, his Dad made a promise to him and he knew his Dad would not let him down and would always uphold his promises.

That was a couple of years ago and slowly the Outer Banks is becoming our tradition.

To me, there is nothing better than spending time with my kids on a beach, enjoying fresh seafood, star gazing, body surfing, playing games, eating scrumptious desserts, watching the gorgeous sunrise, long walks on the beach, lounging at sunset, and talking until late into the night. We do a lot of travelling together (with our last trip being to Fiji, New Zealand and Australia), and as exotic and exciting as those trips are, sometimes you just need the simple beach trip.

My goals for this trip are to really just relax and enjoy my favourite people. I will say “unplug” too, but for me, that means unplug from work: no emails, no report writing, no thinking therapy stuff. I won’t unplug from my trusty computer as I get great joy capturing our memories and documenting our travels, so my computer stays close by. But, my kids have my full attention, my mind gets fed with good books,  my body gets recharged with sleep, my soul rejuvenated with amazing conversations and loads of laughter with my family, and late night dreaming and pillow talk with my husband.

Bear with me these next couple of weeks, as I said, I like to document out travels, so I can go a bit overboard on the photos:)

Happiest Times

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The other day I was sitting in a team meeting (a meeting where all the various health disciplines get together to discuss goals and progress of a client’s rehab) about a woman who is in her late 50’s and was hit by a car as a pedestrian and suffered a severe head injury.

This woman is estranged from her 3 children and their families, has no living parents, and only one friend who still visits. She made some choices in her life prior to her accident that seem to have driven everyone away. When she had her accident,  no one was interested in reconnecting with her. So, she is alone.

One therapist mentioned that she took this woman to her childhood neighbourhood. The therapist reported it was the “happiest” she had ever seen her, and the woman herself stated that her childhood was the happiest time of her life.

I blurted out “That is the saddest thing ever! Can you imagine if your childhood was the happiest time of your life? All those years later never measured up?”

It sparked a bit of a discussion.

While I think it is awesome to have a great childhood, and have fond memories (and so important to me to help create a great childhood for my kids), it is only one part of my “happiest times”.

I have many, many other “happiest times”.

I admit that there were, are, (and will be) some weeks and months in there that I can do without. There are many dark clouds and chunks of time where I’m not sure I could see any light. But, when I look carefully, I do see a glimmer of happiness was there all along when I let myself be happy for a moment.

I know that my future also holds many more happy times to come. I would hate to hit a point in my life when I feel that I have already lived my happiest time.

I walked out of that meeting thinking to myself that I want every year to be the “happiest year ever”. Yes, every year will have its ups and downs, but I want to always make sure that every year also holds some memories that are the happiest. I need to make sure that I am doing enough of the things in my life that make me most happy to ensure I am creating those “happiest memories”.

Do you have a “happiest time” time in your life?

I Hate That I’m Hated

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I’m not a person who has a lot of enemies.

I’m not a person who has a whole huge group of friends either.

I have some very close friends and then I have some friends in various circles; my work friends, my neighborhood friends, my Mom friends, my church friends, my old friends, my “kids play on the same team” friends, and now, my blogger friends. Not that I lump them into distinct, unchangeable categories – some cross over into my “very close friend” circle, but there are friends who I relate to on different levels.

But, I pretty much can get along with anyone. Sure, I may not be everyone’s favourite, but rarely do I come across someone who truly does not like me.

Until I married Rob.

With the “Rob deal” came an amazing man, 3 kids, and a woman that hates me.

Could the deal not have come with a side of fries instead?

Ok, his ex has never come out and said she hates me. But, since I’m big on quotes, the “actions speak louder than words” quote is the one that is ingrained in me.

And the actions speak volumes.

Have you ever pulled up in front of your house to have someone standing on your steps and completely ignore you? Act as if you are invisible? Completely ignore your “own” kids?

I guess technically we have moved past that in the past few months to getting an icy stare with a stone faced “hello”.

Progress.

I mean, you are standing on my doorstep after all.

And, whether you like it or not, I am the second most influential woman in your children’s life. I am with your children a full 50% of the time, after all.

Honestly, you’d think that I had done the most unimaginable to her. You’d THINK that I had stepped in, stolen her husband, forced him to divorce her and marry me instead. Then, I could understand where the the hostility was coming from.

Nope. I met Rob after they had split. And let’s just say their split was colourful, and while both have to take responsibility for their marital collapse, she was the one who chose to move on first. And, she’s still with the person she chose to be with!

So why the heck does she have a problem with me? In her eyes, I technically took her leftovers, her unwanted discards, the spoiled, rotten food from the back of the fridge…(sorry babe, not sure if you will like this description.)

Unless of course she finally has realized that she got it all wrong.  He’s the best meal around. Like award winning, mouthwatering, gourmet, melt in your mouth, kinda meal. With the scrumptious dessert following. And then more.

Anyhow, I have tried to understand. I have tried to not let it bug me. I have tried to ignore it.

I have even tried to reach out to her.

Last year when Sam was hospitalized, as I talked about here, I was so torn about going to the hospital as I knew she would be there and didn’t want to deal with the “awkwardness.” Using 10-10-10, I decided to go anyways, as this was about Sam – not her.

Shortly following his hospital stay, I sent her an email.

In it, I explained that I felt my boys have been given such a gift from Rob and my ex  – the gift of peace, a sense of belonging, a drama free relationship and permission to love both men in their lives – their Father, and their Stepfather. I wanted to do the same for my stepkids and offer them that same gift.

In the email, I also acknowledged that I had made many mistakes over the past 5 years with her – maybe crossed some lines, said some inappropriate things, made some judgements. These stemmed from my own insecurities, my own weaknesses and my own issues. I’m not perfect. I’ve never been a Stepmom before and never have had to deal with an ex wife. So mistakes were made. I apologized.

I suggested we try to put the past aside and move on. I suggested we spend some time getting to know each other on an individual basis. I didn’t want to talk about her relationship with Rob, or try to be a mediator, but maybe WE could find some common ground.

Realistically, I knew she wouldn’t respond.

But when you hate to be hated, you wait for a response anyways.

It’s been 10 months.

I’m not sure if I should still expect a response??

I’m guessing no.

As time goes on, I’m beginning to see that it doesn’t matter if I get a response or not (ok it totally does, especially when you hate to be hated,  but let’s just pretend it doesn’t for a minute).

I have held out the olive branch. I have apologized for my wrongdoings. I have made an attempt to get to know the most important woman in my stepchildren’s lives. I have done what I can do.

But I still hate that I’m hated.

Please tell me there are people out there who hate you too.