Confessions of a Blogger

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I’m trying to join my friend Joi this week over at Rx Fitness Lady with her mini blog challenge party!

Today’s topic: Confessions of a Blogger.

Can I first confess that I didn’t know what I was going to write? Then I figured I’d let you in on a few little secrets about myself. Ok, maybe not secrets – but I think they can qualify as confessions?

1.  I’m not good at following recipes. I often add things to recipes. You see, I like to use chicken broth and chocolate in anything I can (but not in the same thing. Yet.) My stepdaughter commented the other day, while cooking with me, and pouring some chicken broth into a sauce, that I seem to add chicken broth to everything! I laughed. It’s true. I try to skip out on butter and oil, and add chicken broth instead. It’s my way of being healthier, and my way of saving some calories to have room for the chocolate that I try to add to all baking. Healthy cookies? Better with some chocolate. One cup chocolate chips? That’s it? I’ll dump in the whole bag. You know what, I actually have ruined recipes because of too much chocolate. Did you know that was even possible?

2.  I can teach a class no problem, talk away, get other people talking. I am a Speech Therapist for crying out loud. I teach about communication! People actually think public speaking is a breeze for me, and if I am the teacher (i.e. I know the topic and am prepared), I’m pretty good! But, do not ask me to make a phone call, or call on me in a class, or even expect me to attend a class or a conference without it requiring some major self talk (yup, I do that) to get me to it. I’ve been working on it:  I took a photography course this summer, and actually had to discuss one of my photos – without any warning!  My big goal is to one day get to a blogging conference, and to keep taking some other classes (the ultimate challenge would be a yoga class for me – class combined with exercise – yikes!)

3. I love chocolate milk. It’s my favourite drink. I would drink it anywhere, everywhere and with anything. If it’s on sale (milk is quite expensive where I live:), I buy. Lots of it. And I don’t share. You might think I am kidding, but recently I was grocery shopping with Josh and the chocolate milk was on sale. So, I bought 4 cartons of it (1litre cartons). When I got to checkout, I had 6 cartons?? Josh simply told me, “Mom, you buy so many and don’t share. You bought 4 for yourself, so I had to get 2 for us”. I was a tad bit embarrassed in front of the check out lady. **** I am Canadian – and chocolate milk is very different here. I’m not sure why or how (our actual chocolate is different too ), but I don’t like chocolate milk in the US. So don’t judge me until you have tried Canadian chocolate milk. It’s even super tasty in skim.

4.  I love to cry in movies. Give me a movie that makes me a do a big, ugly cry, and that is a movie I will watch over and over. My kids think it’s kinda funny, and a little embarrassing if we are in the theatres. But, at home, they seem to get a kick out of  asking “Is Mom crying yet?”, then one of the little guys will touch my face (we are often watching in the dark) and give everyone else the update. I love to cry in TV shows too. Crying is good!

5.  I am very committed to my faith and am so grateful for it. I also love hearing about other people’s journeys with their beliefs and non beliefs. But, I get a little sick of the “bad press” about being a person who belongs to an organized religion. We often hear how “religious people” judge the “non-religious”, but let me tell you, it really goes both ways! The reality is people are people: there are the good, the bad, and the ugly in organized religion, and in “no religion”, and every other shade in between. I choose to live the life I lead because it is what I choose. I may share it with you, but that is more of a function of me having a desire to share, just like I want to hear your perspective too! Love is the overriding value for me in everything. If we truly love, then we can leave the judgements behind.

6.  My husband says I am “mean when stressed.” By “mean”, I think he means, no nonsense. I’m a straight shooter and don’t have a whole lot of tolerance for playing mind games. And when I’m stressed, or in a rush, I’ll call you on it. I guess he thinks I could be a little nicer though. The other day we were grocery shopping and if you spend $50 you can get a free item (usually a basket of peaches, a bag of potatoes or something similar – but if you spend $250, you don’t get 5 free items, which I think stinks). Anyhow. This week, the item was a bouquet of flowers. We were checking out.  I was very stressed as we had to finish checking out,  drive home, unpack all the groceries and make it to a soccer game that started in 1 hour and was a 45 min drive away. So when the poor checkout lady offered me my free flowers, apparently I said “No” in a very abrupt way. My loving, calm,  have-to-show-me-up-with-his-kindness husband responded, “Yes, thank you. We will take these beautiful flowers”, then shot me a look that I know said all kinds of things.

7.  I’m terribly intimidated by social media. I’ve said this before. I mean it’s almost a fear. It’s an anxiety at the very least. Crazy I know. Why? Dunno. Just am. No one will follow me. Too many people will follow me. No one will like a post. Too many people will like a post. I won’t know what to say. I’ll have too much to say. I will say the wrong thing. I will say nothing of importance. I will love what people say. I will be crushed by what people say. BUT, I’m jumping in. I am slowly working on re-designing my blog, and have decided along with that to jump in with two feet:

 So, you can now follow me: @raisingflwrskid
I’m a work in progress though, so please bear with me!

Phew. Time to stop writing. I’m feeling a little vulnerable. I was about to share with y’all (Yah ! I used it!) the fact that I sometimes yell at my kids, or get super frustrated with them, or lose it on them and then they seem to think I’m a little mean too (that’s really Rob just trying to get them to gang up on me though, right?) 
(But I always apologize. “Sorry” is one of my favourite words. And the flowers look beautiful, by the way.)

Sharing Our Story On How We Blended Our Family

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I had a discussion with a dear friend the other day about social media.

I’m not a huge social media person, as you may have noticed. I blog, but have no Facebook, no Twitter, no Google plus. Well, that is changing shortly, as my goal this fall is it get hooked up…so stay tuned.

However, my friend has no interest in social media whatsoever; she feels that connections made online are not real, and thus you can end up living in an “imaginary world”.

While I completely agree that online connections are NOT a replacement for real life connections, and while I treasure my family and friends dearly, I have come to learn that there is a strong place in my life for a community that I only connect with through word and pictures.

I explained to my friend that sometimes I have felt so alone in my life. When I got divorced, I had some other friends that were divorced too, but none had children. My friends with children were all married. I felt like I could identify with both worlds, but neither world completely.

When I remarried, there was no one I knew who had been remarried. Or who had become a Stepmom. Or had dealt with an ex husband, or dealt with their husband’s ex. It was completely uncharted waters.

Through the years, I have struggled with these roles. Occasionally I have bumped into others who have been living under similar circumstances. We have had some great conversations, but no relationships have been built.

Except online.

Through the amazing blogging community, I have had the opportunity to “meet” others who are in similar circumstances, or who grew up in a blended family, or who are forging forward with starting over right now. These connections are precious to me. Not only have they “fed me”, but I, in turn, have felt like I could “give back” too.

One of those connections is with Heather, from Bonding a Blended Family. While I only found her blog recently, every time I read her blog, I can identify with everything! We seem to have similar values and similar goals in how we are blending our families.

When Heather asked if I was willing to be interviewed for her blog about how we blended our family, I jumped at the chance! She was even keen on getting some answers from my husband and kids. I can tell you that we all had a blast answering these questions, and had some awesome conversations with the kids about what it was like when we first got together and how it is for them now (of course, only bits can be shared as no one wants to read an interview that took a few hours to complete – but it was an awesome process for us!)

Please jump on over to Heather’s blog to read Part One and to find out a bit more about us: The CDF’s!

Lighthouses and Quote of the Week

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One of the things I loved about the house we rented this year in the Outer Banks (aside from it being right on the beach and you could hear the ocean all day and all night long) was how it was decorated.

It was very “beachy”. Blues, whites and yellows.

It also had strong “lighthouse” theme.

If I ever had a beach house, I would also have a strong lighthouse presence.

I love lighthouses.

I love what they represent: a guiding light, a warning light.

I always wondered why they weren’t closer to the water  – and I had asked the guide last year when we visited Currituck Lighthouse: A lighthouse is not a port. It is a warning sign that says “Stay away! You’re getting too close! Get back!”

I love this as a symbol for life. Often we have warning signs way before the actual trouble. We need to pay close attention to them when we first see them and not let ourselves drift too closely to the shore where the danger surely will be. The lighthouse tells us to stay away and it will keep you safe if you let it and adhere to its warnings.  A lighthouse can also guide you through the darkness so you will always know what direction you are travelling.

And we need guidance, and we need warnings. We need to know when we are dangerously close to the shore. We can’t wait until we are at the shore to turn around – it’s too late – we need to do it ahead of time.

The idea of a lighthouse reminds me of something that Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book “Committed“(Part two to Eat Pray Love) about infidelity: “How many times have we heard someone say, “I wasn’t looking for love outside my marriage, but it just happened.” Put in such terms, adultery starts to sound like a car accident, like a patch of black ice hidden on a treacherous curve, waiting for an unsuspecting motorist…but if you dig a little deeper into people’s infidelities, you can almost always see how the affair started long before the first stolen kiss.” The lighthouse shone, the signal was sent, but they figured they could get closer to land and escape the dangerous shoreline. The truth is, they needed to stop as soon as they saw the first signal – long before they were in a situation where “the innocent first kiss” could happen.

It happens with kids too. So many times parents of my clients will pour their hearts out to me about their child and how their child had gone astray “all of a sudden.” I’m often tempted to say to them, “Well, it wasn’t all of a sudden. It might feel that way, but every journey begins with a first step.”

The guiding light is always there – but you can’t ignore it. You can’t assume that you will be able to navigate the waters better than other sailors, so you can tempt fate by coming dangerously close to the shore. You can’t. You might get lucky occasionally, but is it worth the risk? Just use the lighthouse as your guide!

A lighthouse can also be symbolic that you are close to home – a constant light that welcomes you and will always be there to guide you home. A sign that you are reaching calm waters. It stands tall and can be seen as a sign of hope that a calm harbour lays ahead after perhaps surviving the perils of a dangerous sea.

Zach called me in his room the other night as he was falling asleep and told me he had come up with a lighthouse quote. I guess we have been talking about lighthouses and their meaning (both nautically and in life) since we visited 3 while we were away. Here is his quote:

“Always know where the light is because when you do its smooth sailing ahead.”



When I grow up, I want to fill my Beach home with lighthouses.

I want to make sure that I am always guided by the lighthouses that I can see in the distance if I look carefully enough.

My Pink Ball Really Does Live On

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The most unbelievable thing happened on our last day in the Outer Banks that I just have to share.

I mean UNBELIEVABLE!!

(Now, you need to first know the story of my pink ball. You can read about it here.)

We were just coming out of the ocean for the last time, on our last day, after jumping waves for a few hours.

We were talking about how long it would be before we’d be at the ocean again (sadly, a long time).

All of a sudden, Zach yelled, “The pink ball!”
There, being pushed in from the tide, was a pink ball.

A giant pink ball with white swirls.

Just like pink ball I had lost as child in Maine, and Zach had tried to replace for me (first by making one many years ago, and then by getting me one from Maine when he was on vacation with his Dad. You really do need to read the history of this pink ball, here, if you haven’t already).

Josh ran over to get it.

We oohed and ahhed, and laughed and were just amazed! Where did this ball come from? Completely out of the blue, out of the ocean! (We were all so amazed, we didn’t get too many pics).

Of course, we asked the people around us if it was their ball.

It did not seem to belong to anyone! Can you believe it? What are the chances?

The kids begged us to take it home (even though we really had no room), but we had to say yes! I mean, c’mon, what are the chances for a pink ball to come floating in right in front of us? A pink ball with such a history!?

It’s a sign. A sign for sure. But of what? A sign that everything comes full circle?

I just hope that little child who has now lost his/her pink ball will get the pay back like I have many times over in the future.

I think I’m going to hang it on my Christmas tree.

Any ideas of what kind of sign it could be?

Back to School

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Can is be that time already?

Back to school?

No more summer dreams, late nights, and endless hours?

Can it be that life has whisked by so quickly that we are now sending one off to high school (not even his first year of high school), two off to middle school, and only two left at our elementary school?

If you are reading this and have young ones, believe me when I say I WAS YOU, and all of a sudden I blinked, and I am here.

With these amazing people.

Gabe starts GRADE 10

Zandra is in GRADE 7 – starting in a new school (middle school)

Zach is in GRADE 7 – also starting in a new school (middle school)

Josh is in GRADE 5

Tradition is there is always one goofy shot of Josh

Sam is in GRADE 3

And this year, we have Reggie! (He starts Puppy School in mid September)

Our traditional on the stairs shot : (If you want to see how they have grown, then check out the back to school posts here (this post gives you the history of the back to school photo too:) and here)

And the real behind the scenes:

My wish for these beautiful children of mine is for them to learn, to participate, to develop their talents, to find their passions, to be kind, to be strong, to be brave, to build memories. This is just the beginning of my wishes for them. I wish them so much more than words can describe.

Here’s to the start of another amazing year!

Our Last Day in the Outer Banks

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We are home now, but here’s a wrap up of our last day:

Everyone wanted to wake up early for our last day to watch the sunrise and go for a long walk.

But when 6:15 rolled around, I only had 2 kids who were willing to get out of bed to watch the sunrise, and then quickly head back to bed.

Rob wanted to do the same, but I convinced him to go for a walk with me.

I think early mornings are the best time of day. Peaceful, beautiful, calm. Amazing.

We got everyone moving pretty quickly as we wanted to go back to Jockey’s Ridge before the sun got too hot. Josh was dying to play soccer there – he thought it would be cool.

The kids played some soccer, and then Rob flew his kite. The kids also played some other games before it was just too hot to do anything.

We headed home and spent hours in the waves. They were quite big, but the kids had a blast. I did too. Nothing like playing in the waves with your own kids.

We had a nice siesta in the afternoon to watch some Friday Night Lights (Rob and I fell asleep during it) and then headed out for more ocean time.

After dinner, we had hoped to have a fire on the beach. The winds were pretty strong, so the fire department did not hand out any permits, sadly.

We did have some flying lanterns to light and send on their way.

When I purchased these, I imagined everyone lining up, lighting them, making wishes and sending them on their way. It was perfect and I was so excited.

Turns out, it’s not so easy to do if there is even a slight breeze.

The “perfect lantern lighting moment” was punctuated with some frustration and raising of voices.

Again, luckily my hubby is super patient and persistent and determined.

We figured out that we had to light them in the house, then walk down the stairs to the beach and try to send them on their way. I’m sure we broke every fire code there is – but we got 4 up and going!! It was actually pretty cool. Not the perfect way I anticipated it happening, but it worked and it was fun.

I guess that’s pretty symbolic of life though, right? We envision something, plan it out, anticipate. Then everything goes haywire and you have to make do with what you are given. If you are persisitent, you can still create what you want – but it looks a little different than what you had in your mind. At least that is the story of my life.

Vacation is done. School starts today. Good times ahead. Good times to remember.

Zach said to me the other day, “You know Mom, we are going to have the best memories of our childhood; we do so many cool things.”

Does that just not make every hair-pulling-snappy-yelling mom moment worth it??

So long Outer Banks. Til we meet again!

More Beaching

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Aside from our excursions south on the ferry to Ocracoke, and north to the wild horses, we pretty much stayed at home and hung out on our beach.

I won’t bore you with more of the same beach pictures:)

The waves were a constant hit, and I don’t think the Monopoly board has ever had more action. The kite also got a lot of use. I love that I have a husband who loves to fly a kite. Makes for a fun Dad.

We went on a  few long walks as well – at various times of day.

There was a red flag for swimming a few times which meant beach football and baseball was the chosen activity.

One evening, we went for a photo shoot to have our family photos done. I’m very lucky in that we all sort of like posing and getting our pictures taken (at least for a professional photographer). Can’t wait to see the results of those!

On one day the kids got a little beached out and spent the afternoon watching some TV and then I forced them to read a bit too.

Love how Zach and Zandra posed for the the second reading picture!! Sam and Josh also got quickly distracted with the big blanket…

One evening we had a scrumptious lobster dinner.

One day I got so fed up with all their fighting and whining and complaining that I lost it with them, gave them Kraft dinner for lunch (we were all supposed to go out for lunch), told them to be quiet and watch a movie (and not talk to each other so there was no chance of fighting) and Rob and I left and went for a really nice lunch (the perks of the kids being a bit older – we can leave them for a bit, although given their level of irritation with each other, it was a little risky). I felt better when I returned. They were calmer too.

We made several trips to the grocery store. These count as “excursions” as the stuff in there is unbelievable. The selection and different products is truly unreal. We have *maybe* three kinds of Oreos: normal, double stuff and white. Sometimes they bring ones out for a short time at certain stores, but rarely. But Oreos in the US? Oh My! Y’all have ones for Halloween!

We decided Canadians need to use the word “Y’all”. It’s such a good word. But we think you need an accent to use it because we sound a bit funny saying it.

We decided that Americans need to adopt the Canadian “eh”. It’s often made fun of and used in the wrong way, but it is a good word too, eh?

We ploughed through as many episodes of Gilmore Girls that I had brought (wish I brought more) and then started on Friday Night Lights.

We ate lots of ice cream. In bowls. In root beer. On fruit. On breakfast pancakes (that’s what vacations are for, right? Say yes to ice cream for breakfast!)

We ate lots of pie. Key lime pie. Boston Cream pie. Fruit pie. Rob and I had a fight about the fruit pie. The kids find it funny when we fight. We rarely do, so when we do, they all call each other around to observe and give the play by plays of what is happening. It’s never exciting. Often funny (in hindsight of course). We also fought about monopoly and strategy. That was a big family fight though. I sided with Josh. We were against everyone else. It turned into a big life lesson.

Night time – beautiful stars, kids staying up way too late (to the point where the littles were asking to go to bed.) All tucked in, and then Rob and I headed to the hot tub and to watch the stars on our own.

Love this life.

One more day then I promise I’m done. (Sorry, I know it can be a bore, but this blog is my memory keeper too so I try to capture it all for when my memory fails and I want to remember the little details!)

Wild Horses Could Not Drag Me Away From You (Again)

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One of my favourite things to do in the Outer Banks is to head north to the area where they have the wild horses.

I had envisioned sitting on the beach watching wild horses race in the water (like they do in the movie “Nights of Rodanthe” with Diane Lane). That would be so cool. But, they don’t perform like that.

The wild horses sort of wander around behind the dunes, in people’s yards, on the “roads”, but I still love to try to find them.

We packed up all our beach stuff and a picnic and drove the hour north to where the road ends and you have to continue to drive on the beach.

We stopped shortly before the beach to let some air out of our tires – which makes it easier to drive on the sand (and less likely to get stuck).

Luckily we did too, as we saw a few people get stuck. The sand was pretty deep in places.

We found our spot on the beach, and set up our area. It was crazy windy, and everything got sandy. Mmmm nothing like a sandwich with gritty sand. It didn’t matter – we still enjoyed ourselves!

We headed over the dunes and went in search of some wild horses and found a few. Amazing that they just roam freely! I would love to stay in this area, but I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be not having “real roads” in case there’s a storm. I certainly know Gabe would not like it. One gust of wind and he’s checking in with us to ensure there are no hurricane warnings!

After leaving the beach, and pumping our tires back up, we headed over to the Currituck Lighthouse. Another beautiful lighthouse!

We stopped on our way home at a place called Spankey’s for dinner, where the kids had shrimp burgers and Rob and I had some mahi mahi tacos. Love all this seafood!

We made it home in time for a sunset, and Rob pulled out the kite to fly with the kids. The winds were awesome for kite flying – and Rob was excited like a little kid (and the kids were excited too).

I drove them all crazy by snapping pictures:) I got right in their faces while they were watching the kite fly. I am only posting the ones where they look happy – believe me there were a lot of “please stop taking pictures of me!”

A few more episodes of Gilmore Girls, some Key Lime Pie, and our day was complete!

A Trip To Ocracoke

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It’s always fun exploring new beaches.

We decided to get up early and drive south for 1.5 hours to Hatteras to catch the ferry to Ocracoke.

So glad we did!

We were able to get right on the ferry (a perk of coming at the end of summer when peak season is coming to an end). It is such a nice ferry ride!

We drove through the village while reading about the famous Pirate Blackbeard who loved coming to Ocracoke and eventually was killed there. (Some say his treasure is nearby? His headless body is too. Ugh.)

We also checked out the Ocracoke Lighthouse. Beautiful!

We finally made it to the beach where we spent hours boogie boarding and jumping in the waves.

The kids also played some baseball.

This beach is stunning. The water was perfect – enough waves to have fun, but not enough to scare you!

We headed back on the ferry and enjoyed the beautiful views again.

How much do you trust me?

We decided to stop at the Hatteras Lighthouse on our way back and climbed it. Stunning views, but very windy!

Another pretty lighthouse.

After the lighthouse climb, we were zonked. We grabbed some burgers for dinner, did our usual evening beach routine and fell asleep to the season 3 finale of Gilmore Girls!

What to do tomorrow? Shall we go to the beach? Or maybe go to the beach?