Who am I?

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I found this little riddle in the front of the book we are starting to review for FHE and shared it this week. We had a good discussion on the possible answers – the kids came up with some great guesses! I think it is quite brilliant. And so true.

Who am I?

I am your constant companion. I am
your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed – you must merely
be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work
with all the precision of a machine plus
the intelligence of a human. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin- it
makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me,
and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I ?

I am habit.

Your Voice

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A few weeks ago, one of Gabe’s best friend’s Mom took her own life.

It obviously was a very upsetting thing, and Gabe tried to be there for his friend. We talked a lot about what his friend  would go through, how he might be feeling now and in the future (the mixture of emotions: sadness, anger, disbelief, betrayal). Gabe mentioned how difficult it would be for his friend – all the little things, like how his Mom made him lunch everyday, or the sadness he would feel of never hearing her voice again. He would try to keep it alive in his head, but he would miss it. It is all the little things that seem to make a difference.

Shortly after this happened, I had a conversation with Rob about my name. One of my oldest girlfriends had sent me a note (which included a bunch of notes I had written her in high school – how embarrassing!) and he noted how she called me “Lee” and how I signed my notes “Lee”. To Rob, it sounded strange. He’s heard a couple of people call me Lee – including my Mom and sister, but it’s not a name he thinks of for me. Then he asked me what my Dad called me.

I panicked. I couldn’t remember. Not only could I not remember, but I couldn’t hear his voice in my head. Exactly what I had just talked about with Gabe! I remember thinking how much I would miss hearing my Dad’s voice, but now I couldn’t even hear it in my own head.

It really bothered me and I thought about it as I went to bed that night.

By no coincidence I’m sure, I heard my Dad call me in my dream that night.

“He called me ‘Lee'”, I told Rob when I woke up in the morning.

It’s been 9 years today that he has been gone. While he is gone, he is never far from me. I can see him reflected in my boys, I can see some of the traits I have come from him (all the talking:)), and I can still hear his voice in my head.

You are missed Dad/Grandpa. And you are loved.

Push and Pull

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For their birthdays, both Sam and Zach wanted soccer jerseys.

Given how many jerseys we have in this house (a small fortune for sure), Rob is an expert at finding exactly what they want and gets it delivered right to our door.

Zach has been anticipating the arrival of his jersey – and begging to wear it as soon as he gets it rather than waiting for his birthday. On Friday, the kids came home for lunch since both Rob and I were working from home. Zach, anxious to get back to school to hang out with his friends after eating lunch, left early – just a few minutes before the fed ex guy came delivering the shirts!
Sam also wanted to go back early, so I took him and decided to seek Zach out in the crowd of kids to let him know his jersey had arrived!

I found him, tried to call him over (without embarrassing him), and told him. He seemed less than enthused, acted all casual and really brushed me off. Gone are the days when his eyes would light up when he saw me:(

So I left the school ground and started for home.

About a block away I heard, “Mom, Mom”! I turned, and there was Zach running after me – pretty excited about the jersey. He wanted to run home to try it on and wear it to school just for the afternoon. I teased him saying he didn’t seem so excited when I told him about it in the school yard – in fact he brushed me off! He just smiled and excitedly put the jersey on, and proudly wore it to school!
I guess that is how it is going to go. The push and pull of a child growing, trying to become independent, but still coming back when no one is looking.

Quote of the Week

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“We first make our habits, then our habits make us”.
English Poet

Yeah – I’ve been harping on the habits at home. A lot. It’s getting to be a habit.

However, as I explained to my kids, developing good habits is not only good for them now – it’s really what’s good for them later. I told them, yes, I want them to do certain things at home to make our home more orderly, to learn responsibility and to show respect, but more importantly, it’s for them to find success and happiness now and in the future. That is what good habits do!

Their interpretation was “We are programming them now to do what we want them to do so they can program their baby robots in the future”.

Ok. If that’s how you see it. Sure:) Your baby robots will be happy that you were programmed so well:)) (And I’m sure your spouse will appreciate the good habits too).

So we are going to start reading/reviewing “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens” (and modify it a bit for our tweens and younger guys) during family night. It’s an excellent “teen version” of Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People/Families”. I just think developing good habits is key for success, so it’s something that I want to focus on in the summer. You know, be a little proactive (Habit #1:)

Weekly Snaps of Life

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Zandra had her Ultimate Frisbee Tournament

Lunch Date with Josh to Indian Restaurant!

Josh’s turn to take the cup home!

Cool sky – dark clouds divided by the sun and blue sky!

Beautiful rainbow..saw it driving home from our Wednesday night date at the Sushi restaurant

Hmmm – this next series of photos: We were driving to Josh’s soccer tournament. My kids are “tickle-holics”. They love back tickles. I turn around from the front seat and there they are! Shirts off and all – tickling each other’s backs!!

He wanted to avoid any picture going up on the blog:) Too late:))

Josh had another tournament. Here they are waiting to play

Josh is #5. Isn’t that guy on the other team a giant compared to him!?

Josh and the giant again!

Josh did amazingly well! Scored 5 goals the whole tournament

After the games, they went wild – shoes, socks and shirts off. They turned from fierce competitors to real 9 year old boys!

Accepting their 2nd place medal (out of 28 teams!!) with bare feet!

They were exhausted!!! But they played so well. So proud! It was my lucky kisses I gave him I tell ya! A kiss for every goal:)

Doggies

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Josh was 4 months old when my Dad passed away.

The last 2 weeks of my Dad`s life, he spent in the West Island Palliative Care Centre (an amazing centre!). Zach was almost two, and Josh was 4 months, but we wanted to spend every second of every day there with my Dad.

Now anyone who knew Josh then, or knew me, or lived remotely on the same planet as us, knew that Josh was NOT a happy baby. He pretty much cried non-stop for the first 8 months (ok, I`m being nice – the first year) of his life.  So I would walk the floors with him, trying to keep him happy. I tried to bring my double stroller inside the centre and walk the halls with both boys in it, trying to get them to nap. It was pretty tricky.

One kind nurse, (I suspect fed up from hearing the wails of my sweet little boy), approached me one day with these cute little doggie stuffed animals. They were the “mascots” of the Palliative Care Centre and she gave Zach and Josh each one.

Somehow, Josh took to this dog. He loved him. It seemed to calm him. “Doggie” became his favorite stuffie. We all appreciated how it seemed to soothe him.

As the months went on, he became more and more attached to Doggie. Months turned into the next year. Unfortunately, like all over-used stuffies, Doggie started to wear out. But Doggie was his best bud! He never wanted to go anywhere without Doggie. He took Doggie to Ti-Tia`s (the home day care that I talked about here) every day, and brought him home everyday. Doggie went through many wash cycles. But Doggie was looking plain old run down.

Then, I had a brilliant idea! I would sneakily replace Doggie. I called my Mom, who immediately went and got me a new one from the Palliative Care Centre and sent it along. I figured Josh would never know the difference. I brought the new guy over to Ti-Tia`s and just told her to throw out the old guy, and replace him with the new guy!

So we did just that. He never suspected a thing! Every 6 months or so, I replaced Doggie with a brand new one. I was so surprised at how Josh never made a fuss, or even suspected anything!!

Until the day when we had to leave Ti-Tia`s and move to a different daycare. Ti-Tia had carefully packed up all our stuff; extra clothes, blankets, toys, Doggies…wait…Doggies?? Why are there so many Doggies?? Ti-Tia smiled. Of course she couldn`t throw out Joshy`s Doggies! He loved them!

Every time she got a new one, she just added him to the pack! Josh was now sleeping with a bunch of dogs at Ti-Tia`s house. Of course, now that we had them all, he had to have all of them with him all the time. A whole bunch of ratty little dogs.

Back in 2006 – with 2 of his Doggie’s

Fast Forward to today, and 4 Doggies remain. There were more, but a couple didn`t make some of our “not feeling so well nights”. But, these Doggies have been through a lot and are still his constant companions.

For Christmas this year, Gran picked up Josh a new “replacement” Doggie at my request. I wanted him to see the “original”. I told him he wasn`t allowed to touch this dog; he was a “Display Dog” only:) One day maybe this new Dog would become the Dog he gives his son! He wasn`t so thrilled about this idea, but kindly obliged (for me)!

Tonight when I was tucking him in, I glanced at the “Display Dog” and then pulled him down to do a little comparison. We could not believe it! These are the same dogs!!! Seriously! With varying degrees of love:)

Lots of history in those Dogs. Gotta love ’em!

Ice Cream Fridays

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There is an Ice Cream truck in our neighborhood who knows exactly where to position itself. As soon as there is a tiny bit of sunshine, and a hint of spring in the air, it positions itself right outside the school playground and is there in time for the bell to go.

Every kid begs their parents for an ice cream (or slushie). Then the child parades the  ice cream around so all the other kids can bug their parents to get one too.

The ice cream truck hangs around the school for about 45 minutes, and then makes its way through the neighborhood streets, with its ice cream music blaring and the parks itself where? Right in front of our house.

Well, you can imagine how often we are asked “Can we please get ice cream”?? I finally just said, we can get ice cream on the Fridays when all the kids are around. This saves me from having to say “No” a gazillion times a week.

Today was the Friday. The truck was late, and the music was playing very softly, but Rob caught sight of it through the window and yelled. “It’s here”! and every kid came running. So fast in fact, that they didn’t even shut the door.

And everyone enjoyed their ice cream or slushies!!

Perfect Friday:)

Courage

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“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t . We’re afraid.”
“Come to edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

Every adult has some hangups. Likely, these hangups started when they were kids, and they were just never able to get over them.

When I met Gabe, he had some serious issues with sleep. Not sure where they stemmed from, or how long they had been there (I’m suspecting a long time), but he was 9 when I met him, and they were pretty embedded.

Our first few months of being a blended family were pretty tough with sleep issues. Sleep issues had been dealt with in one way in his life, and that was was no longer compatible in the home that Rob and I were creating. I took a lot of flack for being the mean Step Mom when I said these issues needed to be dealt with asap. The plain and simple truth was, if he wasn’t sleeping, and was wandering the house, the other kids started doing the same, which meant I couldn’t sleep, and I was falling asleep at the wheel (since I’m pretty much a trucker and all)…which we all know where that could lead. Not good. Get to bed. Stay in bed. And sleep tight.

So we took a harder line and dealt with the issues. The issues resolved when he was sleeping at our house, but there were still some residual issues that needed dealing with for outside our home.

Gabe was terrified to go on an overnight school trip in grade 5. We forced him to go, he had a great time, but still held on to it being something he would never want to do again. Grade 7 came along, and he actually got out of going on the overnight trip by not telling us about it (which we found out about unfortunately for him, but that is a whole other story).

Needless to say, for his grade 8 trip, he knew he had to buck up and face his fear. We have been throwing around quotes such as “Fake it til you make it”, or “Feel the fear and do it anyways”, so he knew that this was not an opportunity we would let him miss.

Yesterday, he arrived home from his trip. He reported it was pretty good – but not the best. We were worried when he said that, but it turned out that he just felt they had too many scheduled activities and not enough down time. But, he did just fine with all the other fears he had going in.

We were pretty proud of him, and how he faced his fears. Hopefully, now he realizes that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. He does not need to let his fears win anymore! Way to go Gabe!

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But, to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength”

Cutey Sam

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Sitting out on our porch, enjoying the sunshine:

Sam: “Why do we have locks on doors”?
Me: “So people can’t get in that we don’t want to get in”.
Sam: “But then they have to break the window to get in”.
Me: “True. But we hope that doesn’t happen. Robbers usually check the door first, and if it’s locked, hopefully they leave and don’t come back”.

Hmmmm. Sam’s thinking.

Sam: “If I was a robber, I would take three things”.
Me: “What are those 3 things”?
Sam: “Money, toys, and teeth”.
Me (laughing):  “Teeth – so you can make money from them (because of the tooth fairy)?”
Sam: “Exactly”.

Smart kid.

Hide your teeth.

Quote of the Week

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“Good is the enemy of Best”.

We had a long discussion at Family Night last week, about doing your best, putting in 100% and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

We also talked about “Good, Better, Best” and how there are many good things we can choose to do, but sometimes we need to forego those good things, for better or for the best. We also talked about how we can be putting in a good effort, but we can push ourselves to do better, or to be our best.

There is a fine line I think between loving our children for exactly who they are, making them feel accepted, adored, and valued as is; versus pushing them to become their best, not allowing themselves to settle for “ok” or “fine” and encouraging them to rise to the challenge.

As much as I want my children to know that I love and value them exactly as they are, I also want them to know that they have great potential, they are meant to do great things, and they have the power to move mountains, if they only believe they can. I certainly know they can. I have great faith in my children and want them to know that “I believe in them“.

So, we have challenged them to not allow “Good” (or “good enough”) to stand in the way of achieving “Best”.  It’s something that Rob and I also need to challenge ourselves with. Who knows what is possible?!