We have another official published writer in our home!!!
Gabe decided to try his hand in writing about things he is passionate about: investments.
We didn’t see it until it was published. So proud of him!
Here’s the link:
http://www.ducascapitalmanagement.com/rsh-the-first-to-fall/
I wanted to start this year off right, by having a quote that was a bit symbolic of what I hoped for the year to come.
I don’t know where I heard this quote, – and really it’s not really a “quote” – but I knew I wanted to use it:
“Why not YOU?”
Really. Why not YOU??
I want to start this year off reminding my kids that ANYTHING is possible. A little talent, a lot of hard work, a great attitude, a lot of prayer, putting yourself in good situations, having great support (which often flows from being a good person) and of course, some faith – can allow you to have your dreams fulfilled.
It’s going to be someone – someone who gets the highest grade, who makes the team, who gets the lead in the play, who gets published, who wins the race, who scores the winning goal, who gets the raise, who gets the job – why not YOU?
Of course, we will all have our failures. But sometimes, we have already assumed that it “won’t be me.” Already assumed that, “I’ll never make the team, never get that job, never become a professional soccer player, never be good at running, never read that many books, never get that assignment done, never get on the honour roll.” We are defeated before we even try.
But you know what? It’s going to be SOMEONE who does it. Why couldn’t it be you?
So this year, our mindset around here is to try. Try for everything. Try for the things we never thought we could do. Try to stretch ourselves out of our comfort zones and reach for the stars.
Aim high, work hard, have faith and do your best because —- why shouldn’t it be you?
2014 was certainly an eventful one. So many things that I never want to forget, but so many things I don’t think I’ll want to remember. But you can’t have the good without the bad…so I’ll mix them all in!
Rob and I were sealed on March 8th
Rob had his heart attack on March 13th
Gabe’s 16 trip to Munich, Salzburg and Venice (Was ist Das??? Wilhelm Redpants?)
St George, Lake Powell and Las Vegas! Pool time, card games, water skiing, tubing, hikes, camp fires, smelly bathrooms, aqua dumps, starlight sleeps, rainy night, speedy and chief, Swig, canyon hikes, sunsets and sunrises, limo ride, shopping, light and fire shows, lazy river, Hoover dam, casinos…
Cousin time and lots of games!
Soccer, baseball, soccer, soccer, soccer
Changing soccer teams
Starting soccer teams
Dance recital
Soccer camps, photography camps, tool camps, volleyball camp, girls leadership camp
Photography Shoots
Still not finished Parvana’s Journey
Conference talks FHE
Outerbanks for Rob and Leah
Skiing in Utah
Many, many stitches for Josh
Hearing loss for Leah
Ridiculous waste of money on lawyer’s fees
Swim lessons
School sports: soccer, volleyball, basketball
Band concerts and band trip
School trips
Youth Leadership camp
YM camp
Ym Presidency
reGroupMe
Gilmore Girls cont’d, Amazing Race, The Bachelor
NYC!!!
Detroit boys weekend and Auto Show
Phenomenal Girl’s weekend
Leah is a published author: Motherhood Realized
Dates (we need to do more of those…and bring back our surprise dinners!)
Tickles
Later bedtimes
Housecleaning and more chores
Scriptures in morning
Christmas baking
Growing love for Reggie
Candy cards
Valentine’s dinner and book (served with lawyer’s letter this year)
Quote of the Week
Seminary
Weekend with the Gossets
Babysitting jobs (Zach and Zandra)
First job for Gabe
Aged at 27!
Walk, walk, walk, run, weights
We had all the kids for Christmas Eve this year until Christmas morning. It wasn’t technically our year, but Rob had done some negotiating with his ex to accommodate other needs (primarily Gabe’s job – which is a whole story itself), which gave us this time (of course, at the last minute Rob’s ex wanted to pull out of the deal and caused a HUGE fiasco and a lot of stress at the last minute — expecting us to change all our Christmas plans to accommodate her desire to go back on her deal— trying to make Rob out to be the bad guy, of course…but really, could we expect anything different, especially after the kind of year we had with her).
ANYHOW.
The kids were super good little elves this year, and on the 23rd and 24th, my dining room seriously looked like Santa’s workshop. They made the most creative, heartfelt gifts, and amazing, carefully designed cards and messages. Warmed my heart.
We started the festivities with our traditional Christmas program: Carols, Teach the Children the True Meaning of Christmas, The Three Levels of Christmas, The Christmas alphabet (by Zach and Zandra), acting out the Nativity, and then Robbie’s special Christmas review and message. This year, my Mom also shared a Christmas alphabet story.
The kids are always so super excited for the gifts. They are sent to their rooms after the program, and have to wait for the ringing of the bell before they come charging down the stairs to see the gifts from us that we have laid out for them while they were in their rooms. I also love how excited they are to GIVE gifts!
We followed it all up with a giant buffet of a yummy things we rarely eat during the year. We then played some games and created the Santa cookie (and carrots for the reindeer) plate and headed off to bed.
Morning came quickly (Zach was pretty much an insomniac this Christmas eve) and we opened stockings and Santa gifts, before having cinnamon buns and chocolate milk.
The kids played around a little bit, before they all headed off to their other celebrations with their other families.
We had Rob’s parents and sister over for lunch and then took a nice, long nap, and ended our day with a movie:)
I have a love hate relationship with Christmas.
There are certain things I love.
My most favourite is experiencing the energy and excitement that some of my kids have for Christmas. And by some, I don’t just mean the believers, as this year the truth is known. (Some kids are just more enthusiastic about Christmas and I love the spirit they bring). We all actually are still believers. I think that magic will stay alive forever as we continue to invite Quiet Elfie to our home, wear socks to bed at night in case the Polar Express comes, and leave milk and cookies out for Santa and carrots for reindeer (although this year Zach decided it was funny to leave milked down chocolate milk for him. Way to ruin Santa’s favourite drink!!!). Santa is very much real in our house and still causes excitement as he represents everything good about Christmas.
I also love sharing, discussing, remembering the real meaning of Christmas and having those heartfelt discussions together. I cry through the Nativity scene of Mr. Krueger’s Christmas every year. I love the quick reminders of Christmas through the awesome videos we watch here. I love the dim lights and hearing O Holy Night and Silent Night. I love that two of my teens made their own little Nativity scene for under their Charlie Brown Christmas tree up in Gabe and Zach’s room.
I love all our traditions that I talked about here. I love the gift giving, and most importantly, the special cards and notes that I get (which as my kids are older they might be embarrassed that I share here, but know they are safely tucked away on my special box and also photographed on my phone so I can review at any moment of deep frustration).
I love the cards from friends and family, visits with friends and family, catching up with everyone. Reconnecting.
I love, love, love Christmas Eve. My favourite night of the year. It really is almost magical at times.
I also love the wake up on Christmas Day. The kids still sleepy but speedily racing to their stockings and Santa gifts. The lights stay off and everyone rips the paper off and it gets very messy. It happens pretty quickly. Then it’s over. The kids start to play with their new stuff. For a bit. Cinnamon buns are made, chocolate milk is served along with the buns, then everyone is rushed to get ready. They grab what they think they need for a few days and are gone by the time the clock strikes 9:30am.
And it’s quiet for the rest of the day.
And so begins the part I hate.
Well, actually I do hate the busyness before Chrustnas. The endless lists of things to do, trying to get it all done. The commercialism, the money, the busyness. Hate that.
But nothing compares to the emptiness on Christmas Day. Despite often having my Mom and sister around, or having Rob’s parents for a meal, the house is lifeless without the kids.
Even Reggie feels it.
I have learned to expect it. I have learned to make traditions out of it. Who doesn’t want to have a movie marathon over the next few days (bcs the kids are gone for a few days following Christmas too) and try to nap? It is the best.
Ok. Second best.
I’ve learned that grief knocks on the door every year and usually arrives by Christmas night. I have to let her in because it is so cold outside and she really doesn’t leave until she comes in for some cocoa. This year, I was ready for her and left the door open. It was much easier anticipating her arrival and openly welcoming her. In years past, she has always surprised me, and Rob has always had to remind me that she comes religiously, every year, but I get through it. This year, I planned activities with her in mind, and I actually think it spoiled her mood just a little. I guess she has been coming for 9 years, so maybe she’s bored of the traditions. I hope so.
Christmas also reminds me of the grief that many others feel. The losses in their lives, the sadness, the anger, the loneliness. While so many are surrounded by love, many are not. It makes me wish that people would be a little bit more grateful for what they have. That’s what helps me: focus on all the good in my life (and there is so much of it) so there’s nothing to complain about.
So while I’m sad to see Christmas go, I’m happy too because grief leaves as well (only to return on other holidays, vacations and birthdays that the kids need to share with their other families). In a few hours, the house will be alive again, at least for few days (our Christmas back and forth schedule is quite chaotic; even I have a hard time keeping track) as we head into another year….
We are here again cozy in our home
Blessed to be among loved ones and not alone
2014 is a year to remember, from skiing the peaks to a not so cold December
So without further ado
Let me introduce to you the CDF family year in review!
To say it was a start early in the year would be understatement as loud as Christmas cheer
With plans set and planes to catch,
no doubt about it, a long journey and adventure was about to hatch!
With kids going yonder and far beyond.. To Spain California and other places still
Leah and Rob were west bound for a THRILL!!
Arriving a little late for a very important date
The glorious sealing would happen and not a minute too late
Skype with the kids on the side of the hill,
Looked like Robbie was feeling a little ill
No mind no fear lucky 13 would appear
Saved by a miracle Robbie would stay here
It’s a good thing he did for at least three tickets had already been bought for Germany
The first to sixteen, or close enough, to Munich we whisked on an Indian Airbus!
Arrival in Munich, the Glockenspiel did call
And then on to the Bahn M power for all!!
Cool castles and a crazy Swan not on a pond
Then off to Venice just like James Bond!
Europe conquered and homeward bound, soon enough another vacation round
This time afloat in a giant house boat
Captain Rob piloting and making some turns
At the very least the boat didn’t burn!!
Amazing canyons and sites out of this world, we took a picture or maybe a few!
We walked along the ridge and felt the morning dew
A great trip on the water and sadly a floating poo
Lots about a chief and speedy too, laughter under the stars sleeping two by two.
Back from the West a month to go until school takes off not feeling too lo
But not done yet, a trick or two left, Robbie and Meski head south for retirement? But not yet
Down to New York, a weekend of fun
Walk for miles staying in Harlem
Now the outer banks we relax and get refreshed anew
Ready for another … What!?!? I’m not kidding you!
Our March is booked a story for next year too!!
Thanksgiving gone and Turkey eaten,
The CDFs surely were not beaten
Ready for Christmas, without any snow
Gifts all ready and hearts a glow
We are all together and happy to be
The wonderful seven we are so lucky you see
To be blessed by the miracle of this Christmas Eve
So with good cheer and joy in our hearts, we thank God for everything and being allowed to play our parts.
Despite my lack of blogging about things, things happened in the usual Christmas tradition way….
Except, everyone is a year older, so even though “the truth is known”, no one around here minds keeping the spirit of imaginary alive. And so, Quiet Elfie arrived every night.
We had our annual “walk to the church on the corner to get our Christmas tree” walk. This is the only reason we keep our wagon! So some kids can be pulled in it as we head down, and Sam can pull the tree back in it (funny that the youngest does it, but now he wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact he asked me this year if I could make sure that in years ahead that it stayed his job!) Reggie didn’t take to the Santa hat too well at first, but I think when he saw everyone wearing one he wanted to be part of the crowd:) The kids also got their traditional “Charlie Brown Christmas tree” that they decorate up in Zach and Gabe’s room.
Our friends gave us the cutest little Westie tree ornament. Now Reggie has a few on our tree! He lounged under the tree while we decorated it!
We had to find a night to squeeze in “It’s a Wonderful Life”, and of course we did, with treats and all, but I didn’t get a picture:( Gabe has a part time job now and Zach has been babysitting, so it is hard to find a night where we all are able to just chill!
Secret Santa was well under way…lots of random candy and chocolate, toothbrushes being laid out with toothpaste and beds being made.
I asked the kids what they thought about me not baking as much this year given how hectic it has been and how tempting it might be for Rob, who is so careful with what he eats. They were all fine with that as long as I made sugar cookies, molasses cookies, lemon squares, hello dollies, caramel brownies, coconutties, truffles, caramel chews…. so basically there are two things I didn’t make…. (but I made two new things: oreo cookie truffles and pretzel bark). Next year, I will cut back. However, I lucked out this year having Josh and Zandra as my helpers for some recipes! And , of course, they all helped decorate the sugar cookies.
We packed up the little boxes/plates of Christmas treats and sporting our new Christmas jammies went round to deliver the cookies and sing some carols. We first went and picked up hot chocolate – of course, bumping into a neighbour who looked at us oddly in our jammies… then round to our friends – wishing we could stay longer with each one! We ended the night driving through a ritzy area of the city, admiring the lights and trying to find the best house. We dream about living there, and listen to the kids dare each other to go knock on a door and pretend to be collecting money…. (yes, my beautiful children plotting to be con artists….I must say though, their tactics are hilarious…Zach has this new thing that he spews random facts about things that he makes up in such a believable way – it’s actually a whole other blog post!)
We had a few Christmas parties to attend (but only got this pic of the youth Christmas party). Small group of youth, and Rob is now in charge of the Young Men, so he is in full swing of planning all these fun activities for them all!
For another activity (same night as the Youth Christmas party), the little boys participated in making the desserts for the Christmas party for the women in our church congregation. Good little bakers! They love this stuff…
We also decided to have a slimmer Christmas this year and help out a family in need. I loved that the kids were excited about doing this, especially about the toys we bought for the kids.
In the mornings, we have been trying to catch a bit of the true spirit of Christmas. Someone last year from Church gave me a daily scripture that captures the qualities of Christ, so we tried to read that (and almost made it all the way to the end!)
Of course, Rob and I went on our yearly date to the “Festival of the Carols.” Beautiful as ever.
That about sums it up for now….
I read this post a while back on one of my favourite blogs (71toes).
In it, she talks about the Celtic concept of “thin places”. According to a definition I found, a thin place, “is a place where the boundary between heaven and earth is especially thin. It’s a place where we can sense the divine more readily.”
There was an interesting article in the New York Times about thin places found here to understand it a bit more.
A thin place is not necessarily a particular place: it’s not necessarily tranquil, or peaceful, or beautiful. But, often it is. It is a sacred place. But that sacred, can be sacred to only you.
For me, it’s a “slow motion place”, where everything stands still. A place that I want to stop to make sure my heart takes a picture. A place where nothing else in the world matters, except that moment.
I have found thin places in places across the world, and I have found them in my own family room. I guess we can call some of those, “thin moments”.
We talked about thin places several weeks ago during our family night and I asked everyone to think of where they have experienced a thin place. We all agreed that in our travels, as a family, we have encountered thin places: multiple spots on our trip to Fiji/Australia/New Zealand, early mornings in the Outerbanks, sunset in the Grand Canyon, walking in a line in NYC…those are just recent examples. These are all related to travel, but many others sprang to my mind: sitting at a soccer game watching one of my boys play; watching my kids all sprawled out on the family room floor for a sleepover, while watching a movie; watching Zach pass the sacrament; walking behind the kids as they pull the wagon down to get our Christmas tree.
There are other kinds of thin moments too — some just too sacred to even share, but certainly I experienced very thin moments around the time my father passed away, during my divorce, and most recently, during the whole ordeal of Rob’s heart attack.
This past weekend, prior to the Christmas hustle and bustle, we decided to take a few days to get away with the kids for some skiing. It is so much work to ski with the kids. All the equipment, the food, the prep. Never mind the frigid cold. But we do it. Every year we try to do it for at least an overnight. We spent a few days away, and while there were many parts of the mini get away that were less than thin (can I just have some peace and quiet, no fighting, loving children who jump up to help each other and build each other up for Christmas this year) — there was one particular moment….
The sun was shining brightly and as we skied down this one particular trail, you turned a corner and got the most amazing view of the trees covered with snow, and could see forever over the frozen lake. The sun was setting and we all stopped at this spot. Zach instructed everyone to be quiet…so we could hear the total silence of nature – only eventually broken by the crunch of the snow. We tried to get a few pictures to capture that moment, that thin place… but that’s the thing about thin places, you really can’t capture them except in your heart and soul.
We returned to that exact spot many times following, but it was never thin again… thin places are all about timing too.
I’ve loved the thin places we have been to this year, and I excitedly await the thin places that I know await us in the years to come.
Sadly, our yearly quote wall is quite thin:( I talked about our tradition here.
This year has been tough on many levels and keeping all the balls rolling has been hard! Sometimes the quote of the week just slipped:(
However, I’m reminding myself that next year is a new year so the opportunity to get back in track is right around the corner!!
This week’s quote was directly related to our theme for Phenomenal Girl’s weekend of individual worth.
“Be with someone who knows what they have when they have YOU.”
I loved it because I think it reminds us of how valuable we are and how we need to not lose sight of that value. We teach people how to treat us; what we accept, we encourage. I certainly want my kids to know that they deserve to be with someone that will make them the center of their world and be with someone whom they want to make the center of their own world too. To want to out- serve, out – give, and out- love that person and feel those same things back.
Relationships are hard. Marriage is work and effort. But it’s the kind of work and effort you want to do; at least I think it should be. There are bumps, and disagreements for sure. But then there is also a deep connection, passion, commitment and desire to serve that is also there. And should be there on both sides. No need to settle, no need to compromise your values and standards (you will, however, have to compromise sometimes in order to put your partner first sometimes), no need to accept less.
Be with someone who truly does value your worth.
To get in the Christmasy spirit, I thought I’d share the talk that Zach gave in church this past Sunday.
In our church, the meetings are run by the congregation (everything in the church is run through volunteers/members of the congregation – there are no hired clergy of any kind). The meetings usually consist of the sacrament (out communion) and then 3 speakers; usually 1 youth, and 2 adults (usually 1 female and 1 male). They assign you a topic, you prepare and then present!
This was the first time Zach was asked to be the youth speaker. He was happy his topic was something Christmasy, since he’s a Christmasy kind of guy:) I did help him out by telling him to find a key story, poem, list, or points and then go from there, by discussing it and making it more personal. We found this gem of a piece and then he added his own thoughts. I think he did a super job on it and members of our congregation praised him for an outstanding, uplifting, best Christmas talk!
Here it is:
I was asked to talk about putting Christ back into Christmas. I thought I would share a story by William B Smart that talks about the three levels of Christmas and shows how Christ should not only be put back into Christmas, but back into our every day lives.
Christmas is a beautiful time of the year. We love the excitement, the giving spirit, the special awareness of and appreciation for family and friends, the feelings of love and brotherhood that bless our gatherings at Christmastime. In all of the joyousness it is well to reflect that Christmas comes at three levels.
Let’s call the first the Santa Claus level. It’s the level of Christmas trees and holly, of whispered secrets and colorful packages, of candlelight and rich food and warm open houses. It’s carolers in the shopping malls, excited children, and weary but loving parents. It’s a lovely time of special warmth and caring and giving. It’s the level at which we eat too much and spend too much and do too much – and enjoy every minute of it. We love the Santa Claus level of Christmas.
Most people love the Santa clause level, how could you not! In our family we celebrate the Santa Claus level by baking more cookies than any one could ever need, us kids do secret Santa, we always decorate our house with lights, get a tree and decorate it with lots of colourful ornaments, we even have a Christmas buffet on Christmas Eve. The Santa level Christmas is a fun, festive level filled with traditions. And then the article continues,
But there’s a higher, more beautiful level. Let’s call it the Silent Night level. It’s the level of all our glorious Christmas carols, of that beloved, familiar story that starts with: “Now in those days there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus….” It’s the level of the crowded inn and the silent, holy moment in a dark stable when the Son of Man came to earth. It’s the shepherds on steep, bare hills near Bethlehem, angels with their glad tidings, the new star in the East, wise men traveling far in search of the Holy One. How beautiful and meaningful it is; how infinitely poorer we would be without this sacred second level of Christmas.
In our my house we love this level too, we act out the nativity on Christmas Eve (costumes and all), we go carolling, and in the mornings, we read scriptures about Jesus life and the great qualities that he had. Unfortunately this is often a forgotten level of Christmas in our world today, most of my friends at school are only in it for the gifts and this is not a level that they think about, or teach about in school. The article finishes with the last level of Christmas.
The trouble is, these two levels don’t last. They can’t.
Twelve days of Christmas, at the first level, is about all most of us can stand. It’s too intense, too extravagant. The tree dies out and needles fall. The candles burn down. The beautiful wrappings go out with the trash; the carolers are up on the ski slopes, the toys break, and the biggest day in the stores for the entire year is exchange day, December 26th. The feast is over and the dieting begins. But the lonely and the hungry are with us still, perhaps lonelier and hungrier than before.
Lovely and joyous as the first level of Christmas is, there will come a day, very soon, when Mother will put away the decorations and vacuum the living room and think, “Thank goodness that that’s over for another year.”
Even the second level, the level of the Baby Jesus, can’t last. How many times this season can you sing, “Silent Night?” (Although, when I was younger, I loved silent night so much, I wanted to sing it until Easter!) The angels and the star, and the shepherd, even the silent, sacred mystery of the holy night itself, can’t long satisfy humanity’s basic need. The man who keeps Christ in the manger will, in the end, be disappointed and empty.
No, for Christmas to last all year long, for it to grow in beauty and meaning and purpose, for it to have the power to change lives, we must celebrate it at the third level, that of the adult Christ. It is at this level—not as an infant—that our Savior brings his gifts of lasting joy, lasting peace, lasting hope. It was the adult Christ who reached out and touched the untouchable, who loved the unlovable, who so loved us all that even in his agony on the cross, he prayed forgiveness for his enemies.
This is Christ, creator of worlds without number, who wept because so many of us lack affection and hate each other – and then who willingly gave his life for all of us, including those for whom he wept. This is the Christ, the adult Christ, who gave us the perfect example, and asked us to follow him.
Accepting that invitation is the way – the only way – that all mankind can celebrate Christmas all year and all life long.
I think the third level is the most important. That level is the one that changes the world, the level that has the most impact, and it’s what touches the most people! I am thankful that I have the opportunity to get to know the adult Christ, by going to church, saying my prayers and reading the scriptures. I am also thankful for all the blessings in my life, and for never feeling alone. I hope we could all find the true meaning of Christmas and the adult Christ not only this Christmas season, but all year round. And I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.