Raising Flowers and Skids

Festival Of Carols

Posted on December 14, 2013 by Leah

Another yearly tradition we have is just for Rob and me:)

I don’t think the kids get all jealous about this one though. But, they should! It is the best!

Every year we go see the Toronto Mendelssohn Choir do their Festival of Carols. I think we may be the youngest couple there, but the music is spectacular!

This year was no different. They had a famous Canadian Tenor, Ben Heppner, sing several solos along with the choir. They did “O Holy Night”, my all time favourite carol (I have about 10 versions of it on my iPhone – I’m in search of the best version).

The best part of the evening is when the audience joins in and sings a few carols. I usually “pretend” to sing as I love just hearing the music surround me and don’t want to hear my own voice. I get shivers hearing the choir and the organ.

Something about choirs. Something about carols. Something about music. The choir slogan is “Passion has a voice.” Don’t you love that?

Usually we have a very peaceful date night to attend the concert as it always falls on a night with no kids. However, this year we had some competing needs that had to be taken care of: Zach and Josh were at home as their Dad was travelling – so I left Zach in charge and only got one emergency call, and Gabe had a band concert that same night too. It wasn’t the same peaceful date night as in years past, but we didn’t want to miss the concert. We know it will be our little tradition for many years to come.

It’s a Wonderful Life

Posted on December 12, 2013 by Leah

Every year we kick off our holiday celebrations with watching “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

It gets us into the spirit of Christmas.

Throughout the rest of December we also make sure to watch some of our other favourites, including Elf, A Christmas Carol, and Mr. Krueger’s Christmas. This kids also watch things like Deck the Halls, Jingle all the Way, The Santa Clause, and Elf at least a dozen more time. (This year we also squeezed in the Sound of Music. I think we could out do the Von Trapps. You should hear us sing Do Rae Me Fa So La Ti, and Captain Rob can sing a mean Edelweiss.)

This year was no different. Because we only have everyone every second weekend, we have to get started early in the season as our Saturday night movie nights get taken over with Christmas parties. So, this year it sort of snuck up on me and all of a sudden, on November 23rd, the kids announced we had to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” or we would not have enough time! What?!?!?

So we did. Of course, they made me run to the store to get all the treats that we usually eat while we watch it. Apparently that has become a tradition too. Note: Never bring a teenager and two tweens with you to the store to buy treats for movies. Or, learn to say no. This is what it looked like:

The check out lady literally told me that that was a LOT of candy and instructed the kids to rinse their mouths out with water immediately after all these sweets, before even brushing their teeth. Of course, the kids have to respond to her by saying things like, “Oh, we don’t worry about stuff like that. We already have a lot of cavities. They aren’t so bad.” Funny guys. Funny. And then the check out lady handed me mother-of-the-year award.

Not.

I didn’t care to go through the explanation that I actually have 5 kids and not to worry because we don’t eat all the candy…but she had already cast her judgement:) And, I must admit, it looks bad:

Nonetheless, we arrived home and the kids set up camp. I love that they still love having “Sleepovers” in our family room. It’s the best. I hope they never outgrow it….

And that was the start to our fabulous Christmas season!

It certainly is a wonderful life.

The Letter Box

Posted on December 8, 2013 by Leah

Christmas around here brings with it a lot of excitement.

On a daily basis – if not several times a day, really – you can hear Zach say , “I’m so excited for Christmas!” He then makes sure everyone around him is excited too. He’s caught me a few times being a bit of a bah-humbug and lectures me about “How could I not be excited for Christmas?”

I am, I am. I just need to get feeling more Christmasy. Today we decorate our house, so that will help:)

Sam and Zandra had the movie “Elf” playing all day yesterday too – and that certainly brings in some good Christmas cheer!

What also helps is thinking back on the year we have had and writing some recaps, so I will get started on that. (Note: I didn’t say I will try to do that as that might imply I’m not going to get around to doing it. So, I’ll just do it:)

The other thing that helps is getting all the Christmas traditions in full swing…. And I will also share some of those.

It’s no secret that I think traditions rock. And in a blended family, they become the foundation – and you need to build your foundation on rocks!

So, in the spirit of thinking back of good things this past year and in sharing some traditions, I’ll share with you a new one we started this year called “Grandparent letters.”

Buying gifts can be really challenging for grandparents. Especially from the grand kids. Last year we were racking our brains trying to come up with something; something we hadn’t already done a million times and something meaningful. It’s hard! We are also pretty big into gifts from the heart around here too. Yes, we buy gifts for each other, but I prefer gifts of activities, time, and talent – so there’s a strong push for that:)

We came up with the idea of creating a box for my Mom (Gran) and Rob’s parents (Grammie and Grandpy) and decorating it and giving it to them. It was a “love letter box.”

We then told them that every week, for the next year, one grandchild would send them each a letter by mail. A little way to stay connected, (even though Rob’s parents are relatively close, we thought a letter would still be fun.)

I made it easy for the kids to do it each week. I filled a bag with notecards and envelopes. In the bag was also their grandparents’ addresses and I kept a full supply of stamps on hand. I would then remind someone to write the note. I kept track of who did it when in my agenda as I quickly figured out I needed to do that! Occasionally Rob or I did the note. Occasionally, we missed a week, but we just started back up the following week.

I wish I got pictures of some of those cards. I read a few, and my Mom shared a few that she said made her howl with laughter. My kids are pretty funny. And the cuteness of their creative spelling is sometimes too much.

I remember Josh writing one that said to Grammie and Grandpy:

“Have a God Holy day”

It was around Easter, but it surprised me how religious he was with them!

Actually, he informed me that he wrote:

“Have a good holiday!”

Priceless!

He also calls my sister “Auntie Di” (long story – her name is Sarah) and my Mom gets a kick out of him asking about “Die”.

Most of the time, the kids write about their week, what happened in school, their sports etc. But they are usually quite creative.

Often, following the letter, Gran or/and Grammie gives them a call, or sends them an email to thank them, and it becomes a way to stay even more connected!

It has been a big success! I wasn’t planning on it becoming a tradition, but my Mom has strongly hinted that she loved her gift from last year and would like the same thing again.

We’ll have to wait and see what Santa brings her…..

Quote of the Week

Posted on December 4, 2013 by Leah

If you are thinking that some of my quotes are sounding awfully similar, you are right!

I guess you can often read from our quotes the kind of thing either I am personally struggling with, or my kids are struggling with, so often the quote becomes a way of discussing things we need to work on.

This week’s quote was taken from a great comment I got on my last quote of the week, from Ilene over at Fierce Diva. She said:

“I recently had a conversation with a friend where we discussed the difference between trying your best and doing your best. Your quote reminds of that. Everything is in the action. Everything.”

The difference between trying your best and doing your best.

This has been swirling around in my brain all week, and prompted me to make this our quote of the week.

It led to a long discussion in our house about the difference: Trying vs Doing. Some argued it is the same thing. Although, I believe that some people are more natural “doers” so maybe for them “trying is doing.”

Some said that trying is giving a piece of yourself, while doing is the full commitment.

Some said that trying is cerebral, while doing is an actual act.

I feel that I want to DO my best as that implies I am TRYING my best. It’s all encompassing. Trying however, does not imply doing.

What do you think? What is the difference between trying and doing?

Quote of the Week

Posted on November 28, 2013 by Leah

“It is not enough to want to make the effort. It’s in the doing, not just the thinking that we accomplish our goals” Thomas S. Monson

Wishing is not enough.

I wish I was thinner.

I wish we had more money.

I wish I could travel.

I wish I could run a marathon.

I wish I was a better cook.

I wish I got better grades?

What really does “wishing” do?

Perhaps, it can help us figure out what we really want. But, to make it happen? We need to DO something.

I realize of course, that there are some things that all the hard work in the world won’t change. I’m not talking about the things that are completely out of our circle of control (but we can control our attitude about these things…)

I’m talking about the kind of things we “wish for”, but we don’t necessarily “act for”. We can’t accomplish our goals with good intentions, or thinking about them, or even stating them.

Those are starting points. We need to jump right in and become “doers” if we want to achieve the goals we set for ourselves.

(We also need to make sure we are setting goals for ourselves – ones that push us to be the best we can be)

So, go DO!!

Good Better Best

Posted on November 23, 2013 by Leah

So many blog posts have been written in my mind. If only I could find a way to just transfer what goes on in my mind onto paper.

I love to write, I love to blog, and I love keeping a record of all the things that happen in our lives. I love capturing the little pictures and making little movies. I love it all.

But, I don’t seem to have the time to do all the recording and writing that I want to do.

I sometimes feel the way Zach felt the other day, when he walked in my home office, and said, overwhelmed with homework and other things that he had to get done, “Mom, I don’t have enough time in life.”

I gave him the little pep talk that I often have to give myself. It is the pep talk that I need right about now, and coincidentally, it is the topic of the Sunday School class I am teaching tomorrow to the 12-13 year olds at our Church.

Making Decisions: GOOD, BETTER, BEST

I don’t really worry too much about making BAD decisions. Yes, there are BAD decisions that we can make, and can have some significant consequences. And, I have made some BAD decisions, and will continue to make them occasionally. My kids have also made some BAD decisions, and they will continue to make those ones too. But those aren’t the ones that stress me out.

It’s the GOOD, BETTER, BEST decisions that stress me out more.

And it’s the multitude of good, better and best things that I want to get done or even need to get done.

Things like: I need to get prepared for my clients everyday and I need to write my daily work progress notes (it’s a requirement of my profession). I need to prepare my lesson for Sunday School. I need to help my children with their homework – even if it’s just listening to them tell me what they have for homework. I want to also hear all about their day. I must keep up with my work emails. I must order my Christmas cards. I want to attend soccer games. I must make dinner. I want to read that book that I started 2 months ago. I need to take time for exercise. I need to get to bed earlier. I want to spend time with my husband. I want to go on a one on one date with my child. I want to catch up with an old friend….

So many things that are good to do. It would be easy if I could weed out a bunch and say they are “BAD”. But I can’t find any of those! They all seem to fall under the GOOD category.

But which ones fall under the BETTER category?

And which ones fall under the BEST category?

That is my constant dilemma, and that is the reason that sometimes my blog is a little sporadic – and my reading and commenting on other blogs is a bit more sporadic too! It is GOOD to be part of a blog community; to share, to be inspired and to interact. It is BETTER for me to be able to write in my blog and try to keep up with recording the things that are important to me (not losing sight of the reason I blog is first and foremost to have a record for my family, and then to share and inspire, if possible). But, I know that BEST, is for me to be fully living the experiences that I want to be able to record every detail of.

It’s hard to classify things into GOOD, BETTER, BEST, but I also realize how blessed I am that these are the categories that I can choose to classify into.

How do you choose between GOOD, BETTER, BEST?

Quote of the Week

Posted on November 18, 2013 by Leah

“Be thankful for the difficult people in your life, for they have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.”

Can I just say, “Amen?”

Amen.

Quote of the Week

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Leah

“Someone is praying for the things you take for granted.”

I thought this quote was especially appropriate today as we talked about the devastation and tragedy and pray for the people in the Philippines.

The things that we have right this very second, someone out there is desperate for: food, water, shelter, clothing, safety. Do we think of how blessed we are? When we complain about the internet not being fast enough, the fact that the car is cold when we first get into it (now that it is winter), or how we ran out of milk and can’t have cereal in the morning?

The other thing that impressed me with this quote, is that sometimes the only thing you can do, when surrounded by tragedy and are in a desperate state, is pray.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the millions of families who are praying for a miracle.

Phenomenal Girl’s Weekend

Posted on November 10, 2013 by Leah

And so the tradition has begun.

I talked about my reasoning for developing this little tradition in this post.

The end goal: to one day continue this tradition on a yearly basis with Zandra and eventually add in my future daughter in laws. However, since we are a small little bunch of girls now, we decided to share this tradition with one of my oldest and dearest friends and her daughter (since she wanted to start the same tradition with her girl too).

My friend and I talked about our vision and what we wanted to share with the girls on this traditional trip. We brainstormed ideas and decided that this was a weekend to celebrate all things girly – to celebrate being phenomenal women, like Maya Angelou writes about in her poem “Phenomenal Woman”.

We decided to include learning, inspiration, fun, silliness, tradition, and of course, yummy food.

The girl’s each received a formal invite 1 month ago, inviting them to the weekend – it was a total surprise for them. Given that my friend and I live in different cities, we decided we would meet part way, so they were excited that we really did get to travel! They also received a copy of the “Phenomenal Woman” poem, by Maya Angelou, and a book they were asked to read for a book club (this year was: The Hundred Dresses, by Eleanor Estes). A little “Weekend Agenda” was provided so they knew what to expect.

On the Friday, I pulled Zandra out of school a little early (makes the trip extra special) and we were on our way! Of course, the excitement died a bit when we sat in traffic and I had a conference call to make, but we hit the first rest stop and loaded up with yummy snacks and we were good to go!

We finally arrived and the girls squealed and ran around the hotel, checking everything out. They started making a little movie/video too. If you haven’t checked out the app “VideoStar” – you must….it was a big hit on our weekend!

We headed out for dinner where we enjoyed a yummy meal with our girls. We searched high and low for some dessert cupcakes, but to no avail.

We hit the drugstore to get some after dinner treats. My friend also insisted we all buy some body wash (I bought bubble bath instead) to remind us of this trip. It was fun to smell every bottle in the store, until we finally got ones we liked. Another tradition started.

Back in the room the PJ’s were put on, and the old Mom’s proved we could make some videos too and secretly recorded one for the girls. Of course, it was nothing compared to what the girls could accomplish, and I then spent the remainder of the evening running through the hotel halls in my PJ’s while we made a music video on Video Star. My friend smartly stayed put in bed with a book, while I got “caught” a few times by other hotel guests who raised their eyebrows at the three of us looking rather suspicious in the hallway! (I will not post the videos – but they were good, according to me. Zandra and I shared them with the boys when we got home – they thought they were pretty cool too – although Josh asked me not to share them with anyone I know in fear of embarrassing myself. You know, me, 41 years old, dancing around in my PJ’s in a hotel hallway….)

Finally, we went back to the room, watched some “Say Yes to the Dress” and finished the night off with some non alcoholic champagne. We fell asleep before the girls….

The next morning we headed to breakfast (and met some of the guests who recognized us from our PJ hallway adventures). We then went back to the room and had a little “inspiration session.” We decided to include a spiritual/inspirational component – though my friend and I share different spiritual beliefs, we thought it would be good to expose our girls to what we each believe in. So, we discussed faith, and what faith can mean to each of us. It was a great discussion. We decided each year to focus on a different value.

We then headed to the pool where the girls practiced synchro routines and played every game imaginable. I enjoyed the hot tub, while my friend went between the pool and the hot tub.

Back in the room we gave the girls little journals to record things in, and spent some time journalling, got showered and packed our stuff up.

We then checked out and went for lunch, where we had a great discussion about “The Hundred Dresses” book – such an excellent book that really stimulates conversation.

The last leg of our whirlwind trip was to the mall. It was rainy outside, so our plans to wander the downtown streets were squashed, and we settled for the mall instead. The girls headed off on their own first, then met up with us. We then switched and I headed off with Zandra and my friend and her daughter went off on their own for a bit too.

Finally, we drove them to the train station, said our goodbyes, and made the 3 hour drive home. It was just 24 hours (between schedules and funding, that is all we could do) – but it felt like much longer! We packed it all in, and came out of it with great, lasting memories, and a promise to make this a lasting tradition!

Walk the Talk: The Making of a Tradition

Posted on November 7, 2013 by Leah

I do like to try to “walk the talk” as much as “talk the talk”, so with my quote of the week being “Begin with the end in mind”, I thought I’d share with you a little of it in action.

Rob and I often talk about the kind of family culture we want to create. Being a blended family, we decided very early on that we wanted to create our own identity and not necessarily go with what is often advocated out there: “I’ll take care of mine, you deal with yours” approach. I’ve talked about this before, you may recall.

While we recognized that our kids would have some pretty unique living situations, and will always have another family that is of utmost importance and that they love dearly, we wanted to make sure our family was one where “biology” would take a backseat to respect, love, adoration, caring, and fun.

We saw very early on that the creation of family traditions helps create a family identity and culture, and helps fill your home with love, security and a whole lot of fun. Just the ingredients we were looking for.

So, we have created many CDF traditions (including making this our name:) including special holidays, meals, vacations etc. We decided that many of these traditions we hope to carry to our grave. This means that we need to be consistent with them and make them a top priority.

In envisioning our future, and our future as a family, both Rob and I envisioned having some “boy time” and some “girl time” as our kids get older. Things like Rob spending the weekend with the boys at the Monaco Grand Prix, or me soaking in a hot tub at a luxurious spa in Antigua with Zandra. Those kind of weekends.

Ok. Maybe not so exotic. (Although we can dream, can’t we?)

Perhaps it could be Rob going fishing with the boys (less likely), or going to a weekend Autoshow or ball game (more likely), or me going for an overnight with Zandra and talking into the wee hours of the night in our PJ’s.

Well, “Begin with the end in mind” means we better get that started now – so a tradition can be in the making.

Coincidentally, one of my besties and I had a conversation about her desire to have a girl’s weekend with her daughter too. Her daughter is only a few months younger than Zandra. Wouldn’t it be fun to do something together, since it might be more fun for the girls? And wouldn’t it be fun to do this every year and eventually expand our group to include our future daughter-in-laws? Wouldn’t it be cool if one day our grandaughters could join this group at the age of 12 – the same age our daughters are now??

Yes. It would be cool. It’s what our “end” looks like: our daughters and stepdaughters, our daughter-in-laws, and our granddaughters, all heading off to spend an amazing girl’s weekend together on a yearly basis.

We better work backwards and make that happen.

So we did. And it happened. And I can’t wait to share the end result….

Stay tuned:)