Quote of the Week

One of my favorite motivational writers/speakers is Stephen Covey.

His most popular book is, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” Although geared towards the business person, it is perfectly applicable to anyone. He also made a variation of the book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families”. Amazing Book.

I share the same faith as him, and his suggestions closely resemble many of the things advocated for in our faith, so it’s no surprise that his ideas come from a line of thinking and doing that I can relate to and try to align with.

His son also made an adaptation of the book, called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens.” Slowly, we have been making our way through this book during Family Nights over the past year. Another amazing book.

I love his ideas, concepts and stories. I use them all the time with my kids, as well as my clients. Sadly, Stephen Covey died last year, from complications due to a head injury he sustained in a bicycle accident. My clients also can relate to this.

One of his most powerful quotes he uses makes up one of the 7 habits:

“Begin with the end in mind.

Where do you want to end up? What is your end goal? End result? Final outcome?

If you know where you want to be, then you need to start thinking of how you are going to get there. Then you can make your plan:)

I love this concept. I have explained this concept many times to my kids, and my clients, and now I am just often heard saying to them: “Work Backwards.”

For example:

If your project is due on the 28th, it needs to be done by the 26-27th. Which means you need to be editing by the 25th, which means you should be working on the rough draft on the 23-24th, which means the outline needs to done by the 22nd….

Or:

If we have to leave by 6:20 for soccer practice, you need to be putting your cleats on and getting your stuff ready by 6:10, which means you need to eat by 5:45, which means homework needs to be done by 5:40, and you think you have how much homework? 1.5 hours? So you need to start by around 4, which means you need to be back from school by 3:55. So you can hang out with your friends for about 30 minutes after school.

It’s a backwards plan really. I live by backwards planning. I like sharing the steps with my kids too so it doesn’t just look like I’m randomly telling them they need to start studying for a test, or working on that paper, or have no time to see a friend, or when they need to get ready. They can use some time management and logic and reasoning to figure it out. They can take ownership and responsibility for whatever their end result needs to be.

But “begin with the end in mind” is more than just backwards planning.

It helps you focus on the values you want to live by, the relationships you want to have, the kind of dreams you want to fulfill, the person you want to become. Living by this concept helps you make better decisions, better choices, create more traditions and live more deliberately. It helps you think about expectations and consequences. It helps you create whatever kind of life you want for yourself.

Of course, you need to have a vision of what you want “the end” to look like, which can be hard, but that is a whole other blog post:)

Halloween Wrap Up

Our Halloween festivities started a bit early this year, with a party at church. The kids really enjoyed all the yummy food.

A chicken, a zombie soldier, Dorothy and a girl who needs to learn how to sit!

A chicken, a zombie soldier, Dorothy and a girl who needs to learn how to sit!

Next, we had our annual pumpkin carving. Rob and Zach were the ones who got their hands dirty and cleaned out all the pumpkins for everyone else. Rob also made some tasty pumpkin seeds.

Creative Pumpkin Designers!

Creative Pumpkin Designers!

On Halloween, our school had their annual parade. All the kids line up with their class, walk through the school yard and then walk a bit through the neighbourhood. I was able to come back home in between appointments to attend with Rob. We were a little late, so had to wait for the boys (now only Josh and Sam at this school) to come back from their walk in the neighbourhood. We saw Sam and waited and waited for Josh, but never saw him. Turned out, we just missed him! I guess his “girl” costume was pretty good! We finally found him right at the end and Josh told me that he totally saw us, and waved and everything!

Who is this pretty girl and scary zombie?

Who is this pretty girl and scary zombie?

That night, we had mummy dogs for dinner. Sam was pretty bummed to miss them as he was at his Mom’s that night. He went trick or treating over at his Mom’s house as it was too complicated trying to coordinate trick or treating here with his friends. Zandra, however, is at an age where she is beginning to assert herself and simply told her Mom she was staying here and trick or treating with Zach, Josh and some friends. She ended up staying over night too. Unfortunately she had forgotten her costume at her Mom’s:(( We were able to still get her all dolled up as “Jessie” (I wore it a few years ago) and she looked super cute and was happy with her costume.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? Joshella and Jessie together forever

What came first? The chicken or the egg? Joshella and Jessie together forever

I expected to take them around the neighbourhood, but was informed that I was no longer needed:( Made me a bit sad, but they really enjoyed themselves (said they went to way more houses without me being there to slow them down). At least Reggie still needs me.

Super Reggie

Super Reggie

Outerbanks Family Photoshoot

This past summer when we went to the Outerbanks, I booked a photographer for a little family photoshoot. I find if it’s a professional doing the pictures, the kids are more likely to be cooperative. My children happen to like being the stars, so we had a lot of fun. We came up with a few of the “fun” compositions; some worked, some didn’t. I included a few of the “in between” moments, since that is our real life.

The picture of us “stacked” was at my kids’ request. We had done that a few years ago during our last photoshoot when we were in Dominican Republic, so the kids wanted to replicate it. However, everyone is getting bigger, so it was a real challenge!! I dread when it comes time for our next photoshoot in a few years – we may have to re-arrange the order!

Without further ado, here’s my family that I love so much:

Outerbanks family photoshoot Outer Banks Family Photoshoot Outerbanks Photoshoot Outerbanks Family Photoshoot Outerbanks Family Photoshoot Outerbanks Family Photoshoot Outerbanks Family Photoshoot Family Photo SHoot Nag's Head Outerbanks Family Photoshoot Family Photo Shoot Nag's Head Family Photo Shoot NC Family Photo Shoot NC NC Family Beach Photos Boys at the Beach, NC Family Beach Photos Outerbanks Family photos NC Family Photoshoot Outerbanks Kids at Outerbanks Photoshoot, NC Photoshoot in the Outerbanks Outerbanks family photoshoot North Carolina Photo Shoot FAmily Photos, Outerbanks Nag's Head Beach photos Nag's Head Photo Shoot Family Photo Shoot Nag's Head, NC photo shoot, Nag's Head Family Photoshoot OBX OBX photoshoot

Quote of the Week

Rob was feeling a little left out that I have never chosen to highlight a quote that he found, so today, he is the star of the week with our quote of the week!

“Luck is when opportunity meets with preparation.”

He knew I would love this one, as I am all about being prepared and planning and stuff like that. I truly truly believe that so many things in life are better when we are prepared.

We are less anxious.

We are less stressed.

We are more available to take on new challenges.

We are able to take advantage of opportunities. When opportunity knocks, we are ready to answer the door and jump at the chance to do something great!

I know planners are criticized for being boring, and that they can’t ever be spontaneous. There certainly is a fine line. Not everything HAS to be planned. However, I have found that by planning “enough” things in my life, I now have room for the spontaneous, unexpected and unplanned things. Some things I just don’t have to worry about as my plans are in place, which allows me the freedom to use my brain power to think about other things.

And that freedom, is worth so much to me. I am a tried and true planner.

You?

 

 

“Can Do” Guy

Everybody loves Sam.

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He has a magnetic personality. He is very expressive. He is the best story teller.

Every teacher he has tells us, “I love Sam”. They compliment him on his leadership skills, but remind him he needs to be careful with where he leads his friends:) He has a bit of a devilish side.

Being the baby of 5 kids in BOTH his homes (he has two step brothers at his Mom’s home too) he has grown up quickly. He can be extremely independent, but at the same time can sometimes get people to do a lot of stuff for him because of his cuteness and his “baby in the family” position.

The other morning we were getting ready to leave for school. I was packing up my stuff to head off to work after I walked Sam and Josh to school, and I told Sam to put his shoes on.

He went over to put them on, noticed that they had a double knot (which they always do) and immediately asked me to untie it for him. Busy doing my own thing, I glanced at the knot, then said to him “You are 8 buddy, I think you can undo this knot.”

He did.

He put his shoes on.

When he was almost done tying them, I said to him:

“I want you to try to be a “can do” guy”.

He looked at me quizzically.

“When you come across something you think you may not be able to do, I want you to try it. I want you to throw yourself into the task. I want you to give it your all. I want you to tell yourself over and over again, “I can do this” and then, I want you to do it. If after you have given it your best shot, and you still can’t do it, then I want you to ask for help. Deal?”

“Deal.”

As we walked to school we talked about how everyone has things they are scared of doing, or think they can’t do, don’t want to do, or maybe just don’t feel like even trying. I shared with him how many times I have to talk my way through something, telling myself “I can do it.”

And off to school he went.

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Then next morning, we were getting ready for school again.

Sam was putting on his shoes, again.

“Leah?” (One of Sam’s famous traits is he says your name before almost every sentence he says. It is too darn cute) He continued, “You know you were right. I tried that thing and it works.”

“What thing?”

“That “can do thing“. I tried it yesterday. It really works. Every time I felt like I couldn’t do something, I told myself “I can do this” and it worked! I could do it!”

He was so proud. He shared with me the things that he had been able to do. I shared with him how I had used “I can do” the day before too.

As much as he is the baby in the family and there are lots of helping hands around, and as much as sometimes it is easier and faster to just do things for him, I don’t want him to fall into the “learned helplessness” trap. I want my kids to feel empowered, to feel they can tackle challenges, and to gain self esteem and confidence from knowing that they can do hard things.

Sam told me he was going to be a “Can do” guy:)

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(Just as a side note, while Sam and I needed to have this “Can do” talk, some of my other guys need to have the “It’s ok to ask for help” talk. Every child is so different. Some need to be pushed. Some need to be pulled. And  all will likely need one talk or another at different stages in their life. I need  those talks every once in a while too.)

 

 

Quote of the Week

I’ve fallen off the wagon and am a bit behind in my blogging.

Luckily, three years of doing “Quote of the Week” at home has trained my kids to constantly be on the look out for quotes!

Zach came home with a few that he had heard at school, and I settled on an oldie, but goodie:

“You can’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”

What I like about this quote is the fact that you can’t ever really walk a mile in anyone’s shoes, can you? So that must mean, you can’t ever really judge a person, right?

How hard is it to refrain from judging – even when we do feel we have enough information. How often do we think we have someone figured out and then we learn something new and it changes everything.

I have learned that whenever I hear a “story”, that I’m usually just hearing a portion of a story, or one side of the story, or a perspective of one person.

I admit, I can be quick to judge, and it is something that I need to work on. It helps to remember that I don’t want to be judged, so I should give others that same respect.

 

 

Quote of the Week

With Thanksgiving and life in general happening, plus not being particularly inspired by anything, I didn’t get a chance to find our quote of the week.

Josh was conducting Family Night this week, so took it upon himself to find a quote to share.

I laughed when I saw it. It is SO Josh. I love it when the kids find the quotes as it gives me a little insight into their minds:)

seuss

 

I love my weirdos.

 

Thanksgiving Gratitude

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Canadian friends!

It’s the first time we had all the kids together on Thanksgiving Sunday. Normally, they are at their other parents and come back to us late in the day on Thanksgiving Monday, where I try to squeeze all Thanksgiving festivities in between the hours of 5pm and 8pm.

Not this year. We got to have them all day Saturday and Sunday, before Zach and Josh headed off to their Dad’s this (Monday) morning. Two full days. A very nice treat. (We actually had everyone Friday during the day too – but not in the evening. I had to work in the morning, but brought Gabe and Zach with me to my group, and then we were able to take the kids to laser tag, which they loved of course).

Saturday was spent running some errands. We had a Church Halloween party in the evening and the kids needed some things for their costumes, so we had to get that out of the way. Most of the kids have a lot of tests next week, so studying had to be done too. We did squeeze in a yummy lunch, but the overall day was pretty ho-hum. We went to the party, where they all enjoyed dressing up, activities and of course the food. We then headed home and caught up on the Amazing Race.

Sunday was a horrible, rainy day. But, we got up nice and early and popped the turkey into the oven before heading off to church. We arrived home from Church to that distinct turkey-is-almost-done smell, and prepped the rest of the meal. It was a late lunch, very early dinner.

As per tradition, we sat around the table to say what we are all grateful for. I sat back and listened. Really listened. I heard things like:

“Our health”

“Our ability to travel”

“Our new dog, Reggie”

“Our family identity”

“The food”

“ The home that we have”

“The small things that we do – like just yesterday, being together”

“Traditions that we have”

Of course, hearing those things made me smile, because we are truly, truly blessed.

It was my turn to share. My heart was full. Because ALL of this was what I was grateful for. Sitting at a table talking about the blessings we have. All the little, tiny things. Having a table to sit around. Having every chair filled. Having laughter fill the air. Having the same traditions. Even all the little fights. Having each and every person at that table be a part of my life. My family. Is it possible?

We finished dinner and went to watch a movie together that the kids wanted to watch again, “The Bucket List”. We all gathered in our usual spots. Rob fell asleep. I begged for hair tickles, which Zandra gracefully gave me for a while, then cuddled with the boys on the floor. Reggie chewed away on his rubber chicken and drove us all crazy with the clucking noise the chicken made (but no one wanted to take the chicken away from him). We had popcorn. We oohed and ahhed over the places they visited in the movie that we want to go to, and I bawled my eyes out at the end.

Zach commented that I had not taken any pictures. “You have no pictures of Thanksgiving this year, Mom”. He had helped me prepare the turkey though, so he had taken a few pictures when we took it out of the oven (his first turkey)! I commented that he could forward me the pictures. “OK, but you didn’t get any real pictures” is what he replied.

And I didn’t. I have none. Not one picture of this Thanksgiving Day. Except those in my heart. You know those places that you sometimes see where you take a picture and say “The pictures don’t do it justice. You just can’t capture this all on a photo”?

How do you capture a family dinner – one of thousands that we have had and will have? Or how do you capture lying around our family room watching a movie we have all seen before? Can you document running errands, putting costumes on, bedtime routines, getting homework done, or going to church?

The pictures can’t ever really do it justice. It’s the feeling. The everyday feeling. The feeling of being home with these amazing spirits. The feeling of belonging. The feeling of this is where I am meant to be. The feeling of gratitude that this is my chosen family.

So many pictures were taken this Thanksgiving. My heart has captured them all.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Welcome New Look!

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m excited to be sporting a new look!

Several months ago, I decided I wanted to take the plunge and go self hosted.

I played around with different ideas. I tried to think about what I wanted. I had lots of ideas, but little knowledge and little time.

I decided to enlist some help. I thought that it would be a great idea if I could learn and get help at the same time.

It was a great idea. I love to learn. But something called “all my other priorities” kept getting in the way and I didn’t have the time to commit to learning.

I finally decided I needed some “real” help and contacted one fantastic lady called Janine at J9 Design.

Can I just say – she is incredible?

We first connected at 8am and by 7pm SAME DAY – she had it all up and running!!!

If you are looking for someone to help your blog out, she is your girl! Thanks Janine:)

What valuable lesson did I learn? Well just like my quote of the week said this week: sometimes you just have to say “I can’t do it all”. Then get some help.

I couldn’t do it, but I was able to find a trusted and so helpful person that could help me.

Task accomplished and weight off my shoulders.

Now to figure out the ins and outs of wordpress! Oh my!

Quote of the Week

“You can do anything, but not everything.”

I am a huge believer of To Do lists. I am old fashioned too, so my actual list is written in an agenda. On the one side of my agenda, I have my calendar. On the other side, I have my lists.

I divide my lists into Work and Personal.

In my work list, I have a few categories: Daily – which includes all the calls I have to make or return, emails to return, treatment plans that I have to do,  things I need to research or order, and people I need to follow up with etc. I don’t bother to write in “see my clients” and “write my daily progress notes for each client” as that is a given. I then have a category that lists all the things I need to do for my weekly group that I run. Finally, I have a category for all the reports to write; and let me tell you, this category stresses me out. At any given time, there are about 6-7 reports needing to be written and they take about 5 hours each:(

Then, I have my Personal list. Written there are all the every day things that just need doing. You know, run errands to pick stuff up, pay bills, call so and so for their birthday, send card for so and so’s birthday, write a blog post, do laundry, mail letters etc. But then I also have the list of things that have been on my list for months: make album of our trip Downunder, re-vamp blog, frame family pictures, sort through toys in boy’s room to give away etc. etc.

All this to say, sometimes I look at my To Do lists and I physically feel ill.

Because what is not written on all my lists are the really important things like: hang out with my kids so I can hear all their stories, help kids with homework, exercise, get to bed at a decent time, set aside time to chat with my closest friends and family, personal scripture study and prayer, spend some one on one time with my husband and maybe even read a bit of a good book.

How to get it all done?

I sometimes get anxious when I think about it ALL. Who doesn’t? I mean, seriously, is there a mother out there who does not feel squeezed from every direction? Who questions where her time is spent and if it is spent on the right things?

The only thing I can do is try to remind myself of this little quote. I can do anything. I just can’t do everything”. But, I pair it with another quote that I often play in my mind: You can do it all, but you just can’t do it all NOW.” 

That’s the key thing, right? There isn’t enough hours in a day to do it all NOW. But, perhaps there is enough time in a lifetime to do it all? That is what I am counting on. I just have to pick and choose what my focus is NOW.

I may not get my reports done on time, I may never get my photo albums put together, I may miss sending my friend a birthday card, I may skip writing some blog posts, and I may need to eventually give away the ton of toys we have outgrown.

But right NOW? I don’t need to stress about EVERYTHING. I need to choose my top things and focus on those and be forgiving with myself when I fail in so many other areas. One day, I’ll get to it all.