Raising Flowers and Skids

Mission Q&A Part 5

Posted on November 12, 2019 by Leah

Why do Missionaries need to be supervised at all times? Why do they have to have a companion?

So I wrote this blog post last month sometime and it has been sitting in my drafts. I’m glad it was there for so long as these past few weeks I’ve really come to have a better understanding of how important and inspired having companions are. As mentioned in previous posts, Zach has had a pretty rocky start in Tahiti dealing with some homesickness. The other day, on a very low day, his companion was able to be there for him and support him how he needed. Thousands of miles away from home, a companion is to be that “family” that looks out for you.

When we spoke to Zach the other day he mentioned how earlier in the day he was in the grocery store and he bumped into his past companion from the MTC – Elder Davis and they had a joyous reunion! They had built a bond that is forever there now.

Missions, as I’m beginning to understand, are like nothing else in the world. The experiences and how difficult they are – especially for kids this age – push and stretch them in ways I’m not even sure I have been pushed and stretched – ever. But having someone with you can be a great source of comfort.

However, the companion can also be a great source of trial too – which I have heard from many missionaries. Sometimes the greatest trial on their whole mission. Overall, these companionships teach very valuable life lessons about relationships: patience, unconditional love, respect, support, tolerance and a multitude of other things that likely each person in that companionship needs to learn. People find it odd that missionaries aren’t allowed to date and at a time in their lives where they should be exploring relationships and learning about themselves. Well, I think having multiple companionships – and being with them all the time while you are with them, provides these kids with very unique life and relationship experience that shapes all their future relationships.

Back to my original post:

I don’t look at it as being “supervised” at all times – and I don’t think they would either. But missionaries do go around in companionships – two by two – or sometimes there are three of them. Even though they are with someone else – it’s not like one of them is “in charge” of the other.

Often when they are out in their actual mission (as opposed to being in the MTC) there is a senior and a junior companion – based on how long they have been out (it’s kind of nice for a “greenie” (what they call a brand new missionary) to get to be with someone who knows the area, the people, the ropes etc.) But they are not a babysitter. When they first arrive on a mission their companion is considered their “trainer” and they have fun terms like being the “son or daughter” of the trainer.

Zach with his trainer:

Missionaries in fact have to figure out how to get along with each other, work with each other and live with each other; they need to figure out how to deal with some people who want to work more or less, some who want to eat healthier or junkier, some who want to exercise more or less, some who want to study more or less, some who want to follow the rules to a tee and other who don’t etc. They are individuals. And they are usually between the ages of 18-25 – so they are YOUNG. This means that you are dealing with different levels of maturity, different perspectives, different upbringings, different family backgrounds, different life objectives, different work ethics, and even different testimonies – and different a million other things. Hence why when Zach wrote about having two “fights” in the MTC – it shocked me at first that this would happen in the MTC – but then reality reminded me that these are human boys between 18-26 – and so it’s perfectly normal that there is all sorts of room for growth and maturity! They may look similar (they are asked to dress conservatively as they are representative of Christ ) but they ARE individuals.

So a missionary is assigned a companion as soon as they enter the MTC, and will have a companion the whole way through their mission. But not the same one all the time. “Transfers” occur every 6 weeks – meaning you can be sent to another geographical area, and be with a new companion, or you can stay in the same area and have a new companion come to you. Sometimes you stay with the same companion for multiple transfers – and sometimes both of you are transferred elsewhere at the same time. So over the course of your mission, you will have had a fair number of companions. Some you will love and be sad to say good bye when you are transferred and others you will be more than happy to part ways with. It is all part of the growing experience of each missionary – to learn how to live with others, compromise, grow and share. Some companions will be life long friends and you may up rooming with them at University (if you end up going to the same one – which a lot of Mormons go to BYU so there’s a good chance) and others, not so much.

Zach and his first companion in the MTC – Elder Davis:

Missionaries can also go on “Splits” which basically means they just swap out companions for a few hours/days (depending on the area/needs at the time). It can be a nice break for the missionaries to have someone else to be with. Although, in some areas, multiple companionships (groups of two) end up living together, and often there are multiple companionships who are in the same congregation so they do have a chance to interact and spend time with each other too. On their day off, it is not uncommon for groups of missionaries to get together to go exploring or do something touristy. (More on P days another post)

Lots of fun times together with these guys! (Zach’s district didn’t have any females in it for the first little while – they were in another district)

Right on the church website, they talk about companionships. Here’s what the “official” low down is:

Typically, missionaries work in pairs, called companionships. Sometimes there are more than two missionaries in a companionship but never fewer. And they’re not just companions—they’re roommates too. Companionships exist so missionaries can look out for each other. After all, most missionaries are working in places far from home. Their parents rest easier knowing they’re not out there alone.

I have to agree that it does put my mind at ease knowing that Zach is not out wandering alone! It is not the same as travelling on your own, as you are signed up with a specific organization (The Church) and their visa is attached to that organization. Plus, they are there to do certain things, so it’s nice that they have a buddy system in place. Especially in this day and age when they go into people’s homes – they never know what they will encounter.

There are pretty strict rules about being with members of the opposite sex too (not just “not dating”) but not even having 2 to 1 ratio in private quarters. If they want to be in private quarters they need to have more people (I can’t remember the exact numbers – maybe 3:1??) or they need to meet in public. That to me is just common sense for the protection of all concerned – protection against something happening, and protection against allegations of something happening. I’ve even noticed the tutor we hired for Josh who comes to our home is much more strict about that kind of thing (whether an adult is home or not). You can’t take chances in this day and age and you need to protect yourself – especially missionaries when they can be the target of people who don’t like what they are doing.

Obviously being with someone all the time is tough. So I’m not saying that missionaries don’t crave to go off on their own. But, the buddy system is in place and most are agreeable to abide by that system.

If you want to follow Zach’s actual mission blog here it is: zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com

Homesick and Quote(s) of the Week

Posted on October 29, 2019 by Leah

Whenever my kids have gone to any overnight camp, or conference or their humanitarian trip, I send along a note for everyday. Usually it’s some type of encouragement or a funny message or just a “I’m thinking of you” note.

Preparing for a mission was a bit of a challenge as that is A LOT of notes, lol. But instead, I created a journal that Zach could use with some quotes, saying and messages in it. I also created an envelope with some “real notes” for days when he was feeling low. He laughed when he saw it as he thought there were a lot of notes – so I expected him to feel bad quite a few times.

Based on his first email after week 1 in Tahiti, and our first video chat, he’s focused in on a few of the quotes, message and notes. You can read his email here (and see a very raw, but real picture of what his homesickness looks like) .

In his email, he shares a scripture that has helped and become a favourite:

Alma 26:27 “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: “Go… and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success”.

Before he left we watched one of the last scenes from the movie Brooklyn and I included it in his journal – not for right away – but for a bit down the road; he had found it in his journal:

“You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you. And one day the sun will come out – you might even not notice straight away – it’ll be that faint. And then you’ll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who’s only yours. And you’ll realize … that this is where your life is.” (Ellis, Brooklyn movie)

Finally, Zach shared with us on our video call that this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland had also brought him some peace. This is taken from a talk (here) where Elder Holland tells a story about his young self and then he shares his words of wisdom now to that younger self:

“Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—(30 years of it now, and still counting.) You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end….Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

You can watch an awesome little video telling the inspiring story here.

Tender Mercy Messages

Posted on October 27, 2019 by Leah

I feel like I’m part of a club these days – The Missionary Mom Club.

I love the other moms in the Tahiti Papeete Mission Parent Private Facebook Group – and how we tracked flights together, answer each other’s questions, and share photos and snippets of info. I love the wisdom that some of these women have – having had other missionaries serve – or just somehow in the know of all things! (Of course there are dads in the group too but moms seem to be more active, lol). There is a strong sisterhood there – we are able to know how we each feel having our child so far away for so long.

But I also feel like my own beautiful friends (and family:)) are part of this club too! The ones who also tracked Zach’s flight, who read up on blogs they find about Tahiti, who follow the Mission President’s Facebook page, who zoom in and analyze photos to makes sure that Zach looks happy (and has his thumbs up!) I just love how they are able to share the joy and excitement – (and the anxiety and the heartache!!) with me. Thank you to them all, from the bottom of my heart – only 22 months to go!! LOL.

Then there is a whole other group of people that I am learning to love – the complete strangers who meet my son and then think about sending me a message and a picture! While Zach was in the MTC, I received a text message from someone who had met him and wanted to let me know. I was so excited to receive it:

Then this morning I woke up to this beautiful email:

Hi sister Davidson,
Elder Fiore and Elder Mantsounga-Kombo serve in our little ward presenting an average attendance of 80 people during sacrement meetings. The Ruatama ward was created 2 years ago. Elder Fiore and Elder Mantsounga-Kombo came for dinner tonight. We spent a very good time together.
As a new missionary in the mission field, Elder FIORE speaks French very well. He is humble and spiritual.They are both in good health and fine.Please find attached to this mail some pictures taken tonight.
Have a good sabbath.
(They signed their name )

I am calling these messages “Tender Mercy” Messages. Because that is what they are to me…It is so wonderful to know that complete strangers are looking out and taking care of my son.

I have started to take pictures of missionaries I meet and sending them to their mamas. I know what it’s like to receive that tender mercy and I want to be a part of that! So if you have a missionary come to your door – you can politely decline their message – but why not be a part of the Missionary Mom club and take their picture and ask for their Mama’s email address or number to message and send a “Tender Mercy” Message!

These pictures were also included with the email from the beautiful family in Tahiti.

zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com

Mission Q&A Part 4

Posted on October 25, 2019 by Leah

The next question: It sounds a lot like becoming a priest or monk etc . Is it similar? Do all missionairea become a form of priest and hence called sister or elder ?

No. It is not like becoming a Priest or a Monk. I think there is quite a bit of schooling to become a Priest or a Monk – and it is their life calling as well. Priests are a paid clergy, and while I don’t think monks get paid, they rely on the community. Neither group marry, as they commit themselves to God. It’s a life choice for most (but I’m not an expert on Priests and Monks so my knowledge is limited to the minimum research I have done).

Missionaries are quite a bit different.

There is no “official” training. They do go to a training centre to learn languages, learn how to teach, and have some religious education, but nothing like how a Priest of Monk is educated. The MTC (Missionary Training Centre) is intense and they study all day – but it’s only 3 weeks long unless they learn a language too (in which case it ranges from 6-12 weeks long). Much of a missionary’s “education” comes from what they were taught growing up (at home and at church or church events) and what they learn and choose to study on their own (while growing up, and on their mission).

As already mentioned in previous posts, missionaries volunteer their time. Not only do they volunteer their time, but they pay their own way. The church covers their airfare, but the missionary has to pay a monthly amount. This monthly amount covers most of their basic needs while on the mission (they are supplied with funds monthly). They do pay for any kind of souvenirs or extras they might want, and sometimes they have to purchase things like a bike for themselves and are asked to pay for that (Zach had to bring money to purchase a bike when he arrived in Tahiti). Right now it is $400 per month they pay, but it goes up next year to $500 (they haven’t increased the cost since the 90’s despite cost of living increasing.) Of course there are all the set up costs they have to pay for as well – which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it adds up (clothing, luggage, supplies, vaccinations etc). A mission is not free – you are actually paying to volunteer – so a missionary really needs to be devoted to give up the time and money.

Missions are all paid for differently depending on the family and the missionary circumstance. Some missionaries pay for it all on their own, some have family support as well. Some families pay the whole thing for their child, and sometimes the congregation helps fund the cost if the missionary does not have enough money to pay. Basically if you want to serve, money will not hold you back. There is always a way (and often missionaries will postpone when they go so they can work to save money to go).

Once the mission is complete then they just go back to their regular life. Our church has no paid clergy – it is completely run on a volunteer basis, so after serving a mission, you continue serving in your local congregations doing different jobs that they ask you to fulfill just like everyone else. Serving a mission doesn’t place you in any higher ranks than anyone.

However, while you are a missionary, you are specifically called to be a “full-time missionary” and are assigned to serve in a specific area. Right before you leave on your missions, you receive a special blessing/prayer where they “set you apart” (basically in a religious way officially “make you”) a full time missionary. That’s when all the missionary rules “come into effect” and you are asked to follow them . At that point you are called “Elder” or “Sister” and your last name. This symbolizes that you have been “set apart” officially as a missionary and that you are now choosing to live your life as a full time missionary. You are called by these titles until you are “released” as a missionary when you come home. The term Elder comes from the Old Testament and New Testament and refers to a Priesthood office. It is only used as an official title for male missionaries and some apostles or seventies in the church (higher leaders – much like how the church was organized in Christ’s time). Women are called “sisters”. Using these titles is seen as a way of distinguishing yourself so that you can stand out as representative of Jesus Christ. It is a title of honour and respect and serves as a reminder to both you and those around you about who you are and what you are doing for this time period.

As a representative of Jesus Christ, you are also given a name tag to wear – which has your last name on it, as well as the Church’s Name. You wear this name tag at all times, again, letting the world know that you are setting aside your worldly needs and yourself, to be a representative of Christ.

You serve for a period of 18 months – 2 years. Females serve for 18 months, males serve for 2 years. Females can go at 19 years or older, males can go between the ages of 18-26. Why the differences? Who knows. Truly. Many of my friends in the church talk with me about how we just wish they would make it one way across the board as we don’t understand it. Perhaps it is a remnant of times past where women did not go on missions and when they first started going they made it different back then? Maybe they wanted sisters to go for less time so they could come back earlier to get married earlier? Maybe they wanted the boys to stay longer as they needed more time to grow and mature? I really don’t know, so hesitate to really guess. I do know that in years past, the amount of time for men’s missions have changed (went from 2 to 3 year to 2 years to 18 months, to 2 years) – and the age limit of missions has also changed. So future changes will likely still take effect. (Remember when I said some things are outside my jar? All these questions are little pebbles that are outside my jar that I don’t get and I tend to think it is stuck in some cultural, traditional vortex – so the rocks just stay outside my jar and I’m fine with that.)

If you want to follow Zach’s actual mission blog here it is: zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com

Monthly Snaps

Posted on October 25, 2019 by Leah

This goes way back to August, before Zandra was even in Hawaii! Rob and Zandra had a fun date together downtown:

Sam and Josh went to Nauvoo with the Church Youth Group and had a great time!

The countdown began:

Fave sushi place for a special dinner (our reward for enduring losing two kids in one week to the Pacific Ocean!)

Home from Nauvoo:

Marking the countdown calendar:

Heading out for lunch after we returned from Hawaii:

Reggie likes to spend some time in Zandra’s room (it took me a while to do all her bedding and transition her room to Sam so he could have a normal sized room:

After soccer snack:

Going to the temple with Rachael:

Zandra got a job at the Polynesian Cultural Centre:

BYU-H campus – rainbow!

Soccer party with Josh:

Our many FaceTime calls:

Church with the little fam:

Gabe in Houston with his little crush that follows him everywhere!

Sporting Zach’s hoodies is one of Josh’s fave things to do, lol:

Soccer wins for Sam!

First time driving on the streets!

A few pics from Shannon of the storm they got in Houston!

Postcard from Zandra:

Reggie working in my office:

Service project for Zandra – beach clean up!

FaceTime calls!

Sam and Josh playing soccer – Sam was a call up for one of Josh’s games!

I sent a care package to Zandra and this cute mask was in it:

Loving Reggie:

The things you find on instagram?!?!?

Our family talk and photo:

Rachael was passing by one day while we facetimed Zach!

Zach told the little boys to read the story of the Brother of Jared

Climate Protest:

General Conference Feast:

Watching conference:

Rob had a business trip to Munich and on the last day, he rented a car and went exploring!

More Google chat calls on Pday

Date with Josh for schnitzel:

Graduation that both Zach and Zandra missed (hate that our school does commencement in Oct!!)

Church:

Google chat with Zach when a few of his friends were over:

More calls with Zandra – and Reggie!

Our Thanksgiving calls:

Gabe got to go on a private plane for his internship!

Out for Pho:

Gorgeous colours – Brickworks walk:

Boys lounging:

Boys heading to soccer:

Study time:

Church!

Reggie love:

Patriarchal blessing:

Nighttime chats – tell us about. your night…

A few of the final MTC days and video call:

2nd in the City Rugby finals!

That’s a wrap! Phew!

He arrived!

Posted on October 25, 2019 by Leah

This is a bit of a duplicate post from Zach’s real missionary blog at zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com because I wanted to capture this part here (but I’m posting all his missionary emails over on that blog if you want to check those out).

On Friday we had our last video chat with Zach as he prepared to leave the MTC. He had to hand in his phone on Sunday, but sent a simple “I’m handing in my phone – I love you!!!” message.

Monday he was set to leave the MTC at 6:15 am and make his way to the SLC airport where all 17 missionaries heading to Tahiti would catch a flight to LA, and have a layover for a couple of hours before flying to Papeete, Tahiti. All the missionary moms were hoping for a picture from the airport – but none of them had phones so we knew they would have to rely on the kindness of strangers to send one (and would have to ask a stranger to send one and I get the feeling that they were more set on finding some good fast food at the airport!). (I did check our joint credit card and saw that Panda Express was purchased as his last meal o US soil, lol).

I checked my phone a million times that day… and tracked flights:

Then we watched the flight take off from LA… and tracked it all night:)

And before you start thinking how obsessive I was at tracking – these were screen shots that other people sent me too – as they were also tracking it. This kid is loved and had so many people tracking that flight.

Finally, on the Facebook page run by the Mission President and his wife (Pres & Sis Fox), they posted the best picture ever:

With the caption: “They’ve arrived! Photos and more to come tomorrow.”
I spotted Elder Fiore – and his luggage right away! So grateful for this photo!

The next day we got the following email from Elder Fiore:

HELLO!!!!

We are allowed to email to say that we got here safely and stuff. We got here safely! Tahiti is super humid so far, my skin is super sticky lol. We flew in and drove in at night so I havnt seen much. We saw the temple though and stayed right next to it which was cool. I literally havent seen anything of the country, other than some trees outside our room. Looks nice though! I also spoke to some members and they speak super mumbled, french tahitian mix… so thatll be fun.
We get assigned our comps and area soon and the president and wife seem awesome!!
Love you guys!!!

Loved getting that email! Sister Fox then posted a bunch of new pictures of them during their first day getting trained and meeting their companion/trainers. Can’t wait to hear about the area he is in and all about his companion!

At the airport:

At the mission home:

Like this little cheeky photo bomb in the corner, lol:

Let the adventure begin!

Quote of the Week

Posted on October 14, 2019 by Leah

“Slow it down”

If you are Zach’s missionary mailing email list, then you know why I chose this quote this week. If you aren’t on it, you can read all his letters at https://zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com)

Last weekend was General Conference weekend. General Conference is a semi annual event that takes place in the church, where we have the opportunity to listen to leaders speak. There are 5 sessions – 2 hours each session – that you can watch. We try to watch them all, but if you miss them, they are always available online for reply and they get transcribed too. We discuss many of these talks during our church meetings. It is a great weekend – very inspirational!

Zach of course watched them all in the MTC. (I said to Rob, I love General Conference weekend even more now because it is the one time I will be able to know exactly what Zach is doing at that exact same time. Creepy Mom! haha) On Friday when he texted me at the beginning of the day (his P day) we were able to chat about some of the talks that we both liked and were touched by the most. In his email this past week, he shared this:

Back to conference. There is so much I could talk about, but I’ll talk about President Ballard’s talk. President Ballard started his talk by talking about appreciating family and the time we have with them, before it’s too late. We have to always be in the moment. It’s hard to always be in the moment with technology, but when we’re old, what will we remember? What will we want to remember? That beautiful moment with family? Or your phone with family in the background. He really got me thinking to always be in the moment. Another thing he said was to SLOW IT DOWN. One of my favourite songs is “Slow it down” by the Lumineers. Its about a girl and a guy who’s love doesn’t work out because they want different things pretty much. The chorus is the guy asking the girl to slow it down ( from the “fast life”) and come back to him. I had never thought of myself from the girl’s perspective. In life, we get caught up in so much everyday. Sometimes we have to just slow it down, and come back to what’s important, whatever that may be for you. Take a break from the business of life.
Appreciate your family and friends! Create memories you will want to have and cherish forever!

Mission Q&A Part 3

Posted on October 13, 2019 by Leah

What is a parent’s main reason wanting a child to do a mission ?

Very good question. Especially since I chose not to serve a mission and Rob of course did not either, not having grown up a member.

But did/do we want our kids to serve one?

Yes.

But, let’s set things straight first.

When Zach left, he made me a video (and I might have watched it over and over (and will continue to do so) or I might not have – I’ll let you take a guess, haha). In it, he thanks me for “never pushing him to serve a mission, but always supporting him either way”.

No one is forced to serve a mission. They are definitely encouraged, but no one is forced. I do understand that different families (and maybe even also in different areas of the world) push harder than others (and maybe some kids do feel forced – I can’t speak for everyone), but it is up to the individual person.

My father served, my brother and sister-in-law served, and I did not. I have one niece who served, and another who did not. My nephew is serving, Zach is serving, and Gabe did not. All are still very much involved in the Church. No one is looked down upon. All are loved and respected. All have their own path. All have created their own experiences. I’m not sure what Zandra, Josh and Sam will decide nor what my other niece and nephew will decide, but rest assured, they will be valued and loved and supported regardless of their decision.

That being said, Rob and I have pondered, prayed and discussed at length whether we felt our kids would benefit from serving, if some would benefit more than others, and if some it might not be the right fit. We have felt that our kids would benefit, and with open communication in our home, they each knew/know that we felt they would all benefit.

But benefiting from something does not mean you have to go, nor does it mean you will be cursed if you don’t go. It just means if you choose to go, you will have unique experiences that will serve you in life; at least that is what we think.

As much as my kids know we think they would benefit, they also know we will accept their decision of whether they go or not. They are loved and valued the same. They are not higher or lower in status. They are merely choosing different experiences to shape their individual lives and they always have our love and support.

They also know we are not the kind of parents who are afraid of upsetting our kids by saying what or how we feel or by hurting their feelings because we try to come from a place of love and concern. We’ve also drilled in enough that no one can make you feel anything, it’s your choice on how you take things. You can choose to be offended, choose to make it mean something it doesn’t, choose to create a big dramatic story, or choose to see it as something we think you’d benefit from but you don’t necessarily agree. And there will be many things we may see things differently about or want differently for various reasons – but our kids all have their free agency to do what they think is best for their life. And we do understand and respect that. I love the quote “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”. If you say things with love and from a place of love, then you can really share and communicate your feelings from a safe place knowing your conversation will never shake your love for each other.

Back to the question: why would we even want them to go? Why sacrifice 2 years of prime time of their life?

I think a lot has to do with how strongly we believe in the message of Jesus Christ and the desire to share that message with others. So if you don’t have that, then it would be very hard to understand the “why”. I can give you other reasons (and I will), but without this, the rest of the reasons kind of fall flat. So if after you read “all the reasons” below and you still wonder, then I can sum it up that we have a different belief system overall, so it makes sense if it doesn’t make sense to you:) Make sense?!

We strongly believe that the message of The Gospel of Jesus Christ (because that is the message that we teach) is for all of God’s children everywhere and therefore is a message to be shared. Plain and simple. Note that we also believe that one of our greatest gifts is free agency, so we don’t believe that being offered to listen to a message in any way shape or form is forcing anyone. “No thanks” is all one needs to say. In fact, I love how Zach said in his farewell talk (as discussed in the previous post) that he believes that he’s doing this so people actually have the opportunity to learn so they can make an informed decision if they want. His offer is to teach if they want to hear; there’s no force, manipulation or threatening involved:)

I look at it from the perspective of this analogy: if I go to a restaurant and have a really good meal and a really great experience, I might let people know they should try that restaurant too. I might even boldly jump out and say, “hey you have to try this restaurant! It is so good” or I might simply give you the name of the restaurant if you ask me for any good restaurants I know of. I know it’s oversimplifying, but that’s kind of how I feel. I love this gospel and what it has done in my life and I’m happy to share it with others. I have seen the blessings it has brought to my family. My children in turn have seen the blessings too and some want to share it.

So that’s one plain and simple spiritual reason – and the main spiritual reason!

I also think missions provide a very unique opportunity for young kids to step outside themselves, and completely lose themselves in all kinds of service (also as discussed in previous post). I think it’s a way for them to then find themselves. Again, we also deeply believe that when you are in the service of your fellow being, you are also in the service of your God. If you truly love God, then you are showing that love by serving in any way you can. I believe that these missionaries learn to love unconditionally through the service they provide.

I also think a mission is one of the hardest things a person will ever do. Now I have not served a mission, so I am taking from other people’s experiences. Missionaries face rejection (sometimes cruel rejection), loneliness, hardships, sadness, illness and are stretched beyond their comfort zone – frequently. They often have to learn a new language (to two!) and culture. They often have to contend with a new climate, different standards of living, different customs and ways of life. Not just with the people they are serving, but even with their own companions. Every companion has a different story and a different personality, upbringing, and history. Missionaries have to learn to cope with all this, while often living independently for the first time. It’s a huge learning curve. I have even seen with Zach how much he has grown – and the challenges he has faced just in 8 weeks in the MTC!

I think a mission is a tremendous learning opportunity and the experiences they have help them build a unique resilience to life that will benefit them throughout their entire lives. I have heard people say that they have seen the “blessings from their mission” weaved into their entire lives. I grew up with a father who constantly talked about his mission and so I knew how he felt the mission shaped his life for the better. As a family, we have certainly been blessed by the missionaries we have had in our lives too and recognize that the relationships continue well past the “missionary years” (Gabe and Shannon are actually living in Houston with the missionary that baptized Rob! Gabe is clerking for him as this “missionary” is a successful lawyer there (with a beautiful wife and 3 kids! Roland flew out with his son to attend Gabe’s wedding. He is family to us and it is a very special relationship).

Zach also in his farewell talk shared how excited he was to have this time to truly be independent. To mature and grow and learn. Missionaries also learn a lot about relationships. They are paired two by two (sometimes three) in what is called “companionships”. Basically this is a companion/partner that you do everything together with – you live together, serve together, work together, have fun together and study together. If you like each other – then it’s great! If not, you better learn how to love each other. You are “stuck” with your companion anywhere from 6 weeks to many, many months. Over the course of your mission you might have anywhere from 8 – 12 companions. These are people that come from all different walks of lives – different countries, families, socio-economic statuses, cultures etc. Some only speak the native language of the country in which you are serving (e.g. they don’t all speak English – you get to practice your new language a lot ! So missions also teach you a lot about people; acceptance, compassion, tolerance, patience, and love. They teach you very uniquely how to compromise, share, tolerate and give and take in a relationship. While missionaries don’t date when on missions, I think their companionships are some of the best prep they can get for relationships.

Lastly, this is a reason that I only see now – simply because I am just experiencing it now. Leading up to Zach’s mission we were all busy. It was summer, so kids had jobs, sports, and wanted to cram in as much friend time as possible since both Zach and Zandra were leaving. We also had a ton of preparation, packing, and logistics to contend with. However, despite the chaos, and the overwhelm, we have never had so many special and even sacred moments (thin moments) as a family. The expressions of love to each other and for each other, the sharing of deep emotions, fears and tears. The words of wisdom, and the laughter and jokes. It was a time of such closeness for our family. And even though Gabe and Shannon were thousands of miles away, they surprised Zach at the airport and took him with me to the MTC – and were able to jump right in and partake of that closeness too. There is a special bond I am seeing when you have a child who is serving a mission. There are blessings that you can’t quite put your finger on that come to your family as a whole and to each family member individually. It is not something I can explain or prove – but I have heard others say that the same holds true for their family when a child serves a mission.

And what’s interesting, is that Zach knew this before he even left. In his video to me he shared that he knew that by going to serve a mission, he was going to be helping every single person in our family and he was excited to do that.

As parents, I think we all want what is best for our children. We may not know exactly what that is for each child – and it will be different for every family and for every child. While encouraging your child to go on a mission may not be something you would ever do, I am so grateful to have such amazing friends who have supported our family throughout this entire process.

If you want to follow Zach’s actual mission blog here it is: zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com

Quote of the Week

Posted on October 7, 2019 by Leah

I’ve talked about it before, but I loved the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. He also has an awesome weekly newsletter and I find myself taking a screen shot of so many of his quotes.

Sometimes it is a bit more than one quote – like this week:

“To improve, compare little things: marketing strategies, exercise technique, writing tactics.

To be miserable, compare big things: Career path, marriage, net worth.

Comparison is the thief of joy when applied broadly, but the teacher of skills when applied narrowly”

I definitely think that comparison can be the thief of joy – but I also love the idea that you can learn things from others when you compare too. Sometimes comparison can be motivating. Sometimes it can push you to try something new. Sometimes it can give you courage.

I sometimes look at others and see how they are do things and find myself thinking, : “Hey, I can do that too!”. It always depends on the lense you look through.

Mission Q&A Part 2

Posted on October 6, 2019 by Leah

Another question that I have received is:

“What do you mean by “called to serve” Isn’t it mostly to convert to religion?

Firstly, you don’t get a say on where you will be sent. I mean on the application, they know any health concerns and you get to say if you would like to learn a foreign language or not – and likely take those into consideration. You are “called” because we do believe that the mission assignment is inspired – it is the mission that you are meant to go to. They (meaning the leaders of the church) review your application and then listen to the promptings as to where they feel you are to be sent, and that is where you are sent.

Secondly, if I could steal from Rachael’s farewell talk – “ there is a reason why you are “called to serve” and not “called to convert”.

The role or job or purpose of a missionary is not to convert – but to serve and to invite people to “Come Unto Christ”. YOU can’t “convert” someone. (Just try convincing someone or having an intellectual conversation trying to convince someone to believe in God or a certain religion, it doesn’t happen.)

What is the definition of service? “The act of helping or doing work for someone”.

I think many interpret service to solely mean humanitarian work (disaster relief, building project, clean water projects, food banks, shelters etc). Missionaries are involved in that type of service – depending on the needs of the areas that they are serving in. There are actually different types of missions and some are solely this type of humanitarian mission (often older couples do these missions – Rob and I are super excited to do at least 1 or 2 of these missions when we are older). Some missions have a larger focus on humanitarian aid than others – depends on the area and the needs of the people. You don’t know ahead of time how much will be required in your area, but regardless of your area, you are asked to seek out opportunities on a weekly basis to participate in serving in this way in your mission’s community. (All members of Church are encouraged to participate in all types of service in their local communities on an ongoing basis – there is a website designed for you to find opportunities in your area called Justserve.org.)

Of course, service can also include the every day things – not just disaster relief but helping someone move, making meals, cleaning yards, painting a fence, shovelling the snow. We had one friend who served in Kenya and was very involved with farming.

Service can also include teaching: teaching a language, reading, writing, math. It is very common for missionaries to teach ESL. When we were in Cambodia as a family, we learned that the best way for people to get out of poverty is through education. If you were able to learn English in Cambodia, it was a good first step to getting out of poverty. Missionaries offer ESL courses (at no cost) to those who want to learn English. Even in Toronto, there are ESL classes offered throughout the week, taught by missionaries, and they often help new immigrants with limited English to learn more.

Service can also include religious teaching. This is what people traditionally think of when they think of missionaries – and it is still a large part of the service that they provide – and yes, I do see it as a kind of service. People are offered the opportunity to learn more about Jesus Christ and our church. I know some believe that is offensive to be offered to learn about religion. That’s just not my take on it, but we are all free to think what we want:) (you can choose to learn about our religion by seeing the musical instead, I guess is what many people think, lol)

Free agency is a beautiful gift that we have. We are free to listen, to not listen, to partake, to not partake, to engage in discussion, to not engage. We are free to do what we want – free to accept something or not accept. Just as there are many people out there who find the message about Jesus Christ offensive, there are many who find it to be a true answer to their personal prayers. An answer to a way of life they have been seeking. They listen, they learn and they may decide they want to become members of our church. And their lives may be forever changed – just as my father’s life was changed when he met Missionaries in the streets of Montreal. The change he made impacted his future generations and I feel incredibly blessed about that. Similarly, millions have listened and decided not to become members as well. Many have chosen not listen. Whatever their choices – to listen or not, to reject or not, to be cruel or not (as missionaries are often the recipients of some cruel treatment), I do not believe in anyway shape or form it diminishes God’s love for them. And I think the main message Missionaries are trying to get across is that God loves all his children.

Again, I draw on Zach’s farewell talk :

Missionary work for me is about giving people the opportunity to learn. To learn about the Gospel and our church and everything found within. Many people see missionaries as people out there to force religion on others and shove Book of Mormons down their throats.

Simply put, being a missionary for me is just allowing people to make an informed choice with what they want to do. Being there gives locals the opportunity to be taught, but also the option to turn it down. I’m there for the people of Tahiti in a religious sense if that’s what they desire.

I’m ready to be rejected time and time again, but am also ready to teach the one person who says they want to be taught.

My purpose is to love the people there. It’s to love everyone there, regardless of their situation or past. To help whoever needs help and in whatever way I can.

To try to bring hope to people’s life. To try to help people find purpose. I want to teach them about God and Jesus Christ and his Atonement because that’s what gives me hope and purpose in life.

All in all, the purpose of my mission is to bring happiness to people. That may come from religion, it may not. I’m there either way to try to share that happiness and joy.

Religion and this church has shaped me so much and turned me into who I am today. I have become so happy with a big factor being the religion in my life. I want other people to see if they can find the same happiness in the same way.

He goes on to share some of the principles that he has lived by and wants people to have the opportunity to learn about:

…The Atonement also constantly gives me comfort in knowing that there was someone else who has experienced everything I have. We are not alone in anything we go through, and that’s helped me in some tougher times. If I’ve found comfort through that and relied on it in the small trials I’ve faced, I can only imagine how amazing that comfort would be to someone who experienced something so bad that they truly feel alone in.

…Prayer is an outlet I want to be able to teach. I want to show people that they can talk to God personally whenever and wherever they like and God will be with them, aid them and bless them. I want people to be able to use this gift which has brought me so much comfort, whenever they want. God wants to hear from us, and I just want to show people that they can use the tool I’ve appreciated for so many years.

I can’t speak for all missionaries – but I can speak for Zach I think. His desire to serve a mission is a pure one. He wants to share what he believes to be something that has helped him in his life. He knows that many people he talks to will have no interest in the church whatsoever. He knows that many people mock him and think he’s a fool that has been brainwashed by his mother about religion (that’s a discussion for a whole other post – but I tend to think however you raise your children – with religion, some religion, agnostic, atheist – you are teaching them something. There is no neutrality. They learn from what you say and don’t say, do and don’t do. And I think that is ok – they will need to find out and choose for themselves what they want to believe regardless).

Zach’s desire to serve a mission is truly about service. We do believe that when you are in the service of your fellow being, you are only in the service of your God. You can show your love to God by serving his children. You can show your love to everyone by serving them. In that service, you can lose yourself and then in turn, find a higher and better version of yourself.

If you want to follow Zach’s actual mission blog here it is: zachfioretahitimission.blogspot.com